(Warnings in Part 1)

**********

(Hours later)

After saying goodnight to Nadia, the girls and I crashed on 
the sofa and watched television. I sat sideways on one end, 
Sydney between my legs, using me as a full body pillow. Lauren 
sat on the other end, Sydney's feet in her lap.

"By the way, how did it go with that woman," Sydney asked.

"Her boyfriend was waiting for us at the Horizon," I said, 
reciting the story I had been rehearsing since leaving Mulder 
at the hotel. "Apparently she gets off on watching two men 
fuck."

Sydney winced in sympathy and rubbed my arm. "You must be 
really sore by now."

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty good," I said honestly. "I'll 
probably be hurting in the morning, though."

"I think we all will," Sydney groaned as Lauren rubbed her 
feet. "I'm pretty sure the entire male population of LA came 
out tonight."

"Look at the bright side," Lauren offered. "If everyone was 
out tonight then tomorrow night should be quiet."

Both Sydney and I groaned. We didn't even want to think about 
having to go back to the corner the next night. We tried to 
watch the movie playing on television a little longer - some 
fluff piece based on a comic book series - and finally gave 
up.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Lauren announced, pushing 
Sydney's feet from her lap and standing up.

"Don't use up the hot water," Sydney called after her as she 
reached for the remote and changed the channel. 

I rubbed my hand over her stomach. "Are you feeling okay?" I 
had spent the better part of that morning holding her hair 
back while she threw up violently.

She sighed and snuggled deeper into my arms. "Yeah. I'm not 
looking forward to doing that again tomorrow. And the day 
after that. Hopefully the morning sickness won't last too 
long." She went silent for several moments. "I suppose I 
should go join Lauren so we don't use as much hot water."

She didn't move a muscle.

"You could join me," I offered after a long pause.

"Yeah, that sounds good," she replied quickly.

******

Sydney leaned against me in the shower and groaned as I 
massaged shampoo into her scalp. "Do you need anything," she 
asked, rubbing my hip gently. It was rare that any of us were 
aroused to the point of frustration by a John, but in the 
event that it did happen the girls and I had a silent 
agreement to help each other out.

"No, I'm too exhausted," I answered honestly.

She hummed and leaned back into the warm spray so I could 
brush the suds from her hair.

"Are you okay," she asked as she reached for the washcloth and 
soap.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been acting...different lately," she said as she ran 
the soapy cloth over my chest. "Ever since Will disappeared."

Damnit. I could fool Sloane and the Alliance but I could never 
fool Sydney. She had known me longer than anybody - having 
moved into the Dauphine building shortly after Danny's death. 
"I'm fine," I said sincerely. "He just sort of threw me for a 
while I guess."

Her hand paused on its way down my stomach and she gave me a 
look that told me more than words ever could. She knew it 
wasn't like me to let a John get to me. One doesn't survive as 
long as I had in the business without developing a thick skin. 
"He just...nobody's treated me like he did. Not since Danny." 

Sydney slowly began washing me again. 

"Most guys see me as a faceless whore," I continued. "A warm 
body for them to fuck. Will saw *me*. He treated me like a 
lover. He seemed to care about my pleasure more than his own."

She looked at me with so much sympathy in her eyes that it 
took all of my willpower to keep from breaking down and 
telling her everything. "You know you can't let him get to 
you," she said gently.

I smiled reassuringly at her. "I know. I'm trying not to."

She finished washing me and stepped aside to let me rinse off. 
"You know if you ever need to talk to me or Lauren..."

I kissed her. "I know."

*******
(Two days later)

"I hate when there's more than one of them," Lauren moaned as 
the silver SUV drove off, the man in the passenger seat 
leaning out the window to make crude gestures at her. I 
flipped him off with one hand, giving Lauren back her 
cigarette with the other. Nadia patted her on the back and 
Sydney squeezed her shoulder supportively.

She groaned when another car pulled up to the curb. "Could one 
of you get that? I need some time to recover."

"I got it," I volunteered, patting her on the arm as I walked 
past.

"See something you like," I purred, leaning in the passenger 
window of the red Honda. I froze as a familiar face smiled at 
me from beneath a low slung baseball cap. 

"Hey, baby."

I moved to get in the car, but he halted me. "Wait. Not yet. I 
need to talk to the girls first."

Alarm bells went off in my head. Was this it? Was the FBI 
getting ready to move in and they needed to get the girls to 
safety?

"It's okay, Vaughn," Mulder reassured me. "I just need to talk 
to them. Doggett will come by to pick you up in a little 
while."

"Is this it," I asked stupidly. "Is it happening now?"

"Soon," Mulder promised. "It should all be over by morning."

I felt nervous and light-headed. I hadn't expected it to 
happen so soon. I looked around quickly and reached for his 
hand, giving it a small squeeze. He squeezed back tightly.

"I'll see you soon," he promised.

I nodded and straightened, spinning on my heel and going back 
to the girls. "He wants you guys."

Sydney did a double take. "All *three* of us?"

I nodded.

"Oh, no way in fucking hell," Lauren moaned. "I just got back 
from the threesome from hell..."

"Just go," I interrupted, trying to keep the urgency from my 
voice. 

Lauren's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something 
but Sydney cut her off, grabbing her by the arm and pulling 
her in the direction of Mulder's car. "Come on. Let's just get 
it over with." She too gave me an odd look, but didn't say 
anything as Lauren handed me her cigarette and all three of 
them made their way to the car.

I paced back and forth after Mulder drove off, puffing 
nervously on Lauren's cigarette - menthol be damned. I stamped 
it out when another car pulled up to the curb. That must be 
John.

I hurried to the car and my spirits sank when I looked in to 
find an unfamiliar face. "How much," he asked.

I almost told him to take a hike before thinking better of it. 
Even if it was almost over, I still couldn't appear too 
suspicious. All it could take was one Alliance spy to pick up 
on suspicious behavior and send up a red flag and the whole 
plan would unravel. "Fifty for a handjob. A hundred for a 
fuck. Props cost extra."

He nodded and waved me in. I slipped into the car smoothly and 
slammed the door. "You wanna drive around the corner or do you 
want to get a hotel room?"

"Actually, I had something else in mind," he said 
mysteriously.

There was a sudden flurry of movement in the backseat. Before 
I could turn my head to determine the source, I heard an 
electrical sound and felt something jab against my neck. A 
taser, I realized fuzzily as the current surged through me, 
sending my muscles into spasms and leaving me weak.

I was barely conscious as my attacker dragged me over the seat 
into the back and pushed me to the floor. 

"Nice to see you again, Michael," Sark purred as his face swam 
into view. 

My eyes widened and I struggled against the effects of the 
taser, fighting Sark as he held me down and jabbed a needle 
into my arm. 

"Now, now, Michael," he cooed. "This will be a lot easier on 
you if you don't fight me."

My mind grew fuzzy as the drug he had given me quickly worked 
its way through my system. I vaguely heard the engine start 
and felt the vibrations beneath me as the car began to move. 

I felt him wrap rope around my wrists. I tried to fight him, 
but I found I could barely move. The last thing I was aware of 
before I slipped into unconsciousness was the feel of a 
blindfold being drawn across my eyes.

********
MULDER

"I don't understand," Lauren said, pacing the floor of the 
safehouse living room. "Why wouldn't he tell us about this?"

I sighed. "We thought it was best for the safety of all four 
of you if you were kept in the dark. Vaughn was protecting 
you."

Lauren had been the most talkative of the three women ever 
since she had recognized me as "Will" in the car. Nadia was 
sitting in a chair, staring at Lauren and me in turn, looking 
shellshocked. Sydney sat on the couch, staring out the window, 
her hand resting on her still flat abdomen.

I could tell Lauren was growing increasingly frustrated. "How 
long has this been going on?"

"Vaughn's only known the full story for about a month. He 
agreed to help us catch Sloane three weeks ago."

Sydney's eyes drifted from the window to me. "He did it 
because he found out I was pregnant," she said flatly.

"That's part of it," I admitted. "He wanted to make sure you 
and the baby were taken care of. He made it a condition of his 
agreement to help us."

Sydney shook her head. "That wasn't his decision to make."

"I know, but you have to understand. He *couldn't* talk to you 
about this. He was already putting himself in danger by 
agreeing to help the FBI take down the Alliance. He couldn't 
endanger you too."

Lauren flopped on the couch next to Sydney and dropped her 
head in her hands with a soft groan. "How much danger is he 
in?"

"I assume you know about his former lover - Danny." Lauren and 
Sydney's eyes both flashed with recognition. "Danny found out 
the truth about Sloane and the Alliance. He went to the 
police...Danny wasn't murdered by some random serial killer. 
Sloane hired a hit man to kill him before he exposed the 
Alliance."

Sydney gasped softly and Lauren's eyes widened.

"Vaughn knew the dangers he was exposing himself to. He was 
afraid that any suspicion of him would lead back to you. 
That's why he made me promise that no matter what happened I 
would get you girls out of there and keep you safe from the 
Alliance."

Nadia laughed quietly. "He barely knows me. Why would he go 
through so much trouble to get me involved?"

"You were already involved. We had reason to suspect that 
Sloane was keeping you as a slave. We knew nothing about you - 
we weren't sure you even spoke English. We figured Sloane was 
holding you against your will and you had no way to get 
yourself out."

She blinked at me, realization seeming to dawn in her eyes. 

Sydney spun to face me, her eyes flashing. "So all this time 
you were just playing him."

"No," I replied quickly. "No, I fell in love with him." I 
collapsed in a chair nearest Lauren. "I let my feelings for 
him cloud my judgment. I came really close to pulling him from 
the assignment altogether before we had everything we needed."

The silence that followed my declaration was broken by the 
shrill sound of the phone ringing. My heart skipped a beat, 
adrenaline pumping through my body. Only the FBI had the 
number for the safehouse. If somebody was calling, that could 
only mean one thing. Something had gone wrong. We'd been 
compromised.

I raced to the phone and picked it up with a shaking hand. 
"Hello?"

"Mulder, it's John Doggett," my partner's gruff voice 
responded. 

I closed my eyes in relief. Doggett. I had forgotten he would 
know the number. "Is Vaughn with you?"

"No. He wasn't at the pick-up. I think he may have been 
compromised."

My heart began pounding again. "Are you sure?"

"No, but I saw a suspicious looking car drive off. There were 
two people inside. I didn't get the license plate. We're 
workin' on re-routing the numbers on his cell so whoever has 
him doesn't know who he's workin' for. We'll try to set up a 
trace if he calls, but..."

At that moment, my cell phone began to ring. I stared at it, 
sitting on the coffee table, almost afraid to answer it. 
"There's a call coming in on my cell right now. Can you trace 
it?"

"Hang on a second." I heard Doggett talking to somebody in the 
background. I waited impatiently, listening to the phone ring, 
anxious to pick it up in case it was Vaughn and he needed 
help. "Okay, go."

I put down the receiver and raced to pick up my cell. "Hello," 
I answered hopefully.

"Who am I speaking to," a man with a soft British accent 
asked.

"You called me. I think I'm the one who should be asking 
that."

He hummed thoughtfully. "My name is Mr. Sark. Can I assume 
that this is the infamous Will Kuipers?"

"Yes," I coughed out.

He chuckled. "Ah, good. I have some questions you might be 
able to answer regarding a Michael Vaughn. I believe you know 
him?"

I heard a muffled groan in the background. "What have you done 
with him you son of a bitch," I growled. All three women 
looked up at me in alarm.

Sark tsked. "Now, Will, what makes you think I've done 
anything to harm him?"

"He told me about you. You're the guy who left more bruises 
and welts on him than a dominatrix."

He chuckled. "Ah, yes. Well, in my defense, Mr. Vaughn has 
always participated willingly. Present circumstances 
notwithstanding."

"Let me talk to him. Then you can ask your questions."

Sydney sat up straighter, her eyes flashing with equal parts 
concern and outrage. Lauren looked worried and ill. Nadia 
looked like she was still struggling to process everything 
that was happening.

Sark sighed. "Very well." 

There was a scuffle, some murmuring and a whimper before the 
line was filled with Vaughn's heavy breathing. "Will," he 
asked weakly. 

"Vaughn! Are you okay?" I winced inwardly at the stupidity of 
the question. He had been kidnapped by a sadistic stalker. 
Okay had just become a relative term.

"Don't believe a word he says," Vaughn slurred.

There was a sudden flurry of movement and I heard Vaughn cry 
out somewhere in the background. 

"Sark, you son of a bitch," I shouted. "Leave him alone!"

"Now that you know he's alive, I would like to know who your 
employers are," Sark said calmly.

"Who I work for is none of your damned business."

"I beg to differ. You see, my employers have become concerned 
about Mr. Vaughn's behavior ever since you started acquiring 
his services. They suspect he has become a liability."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about," I spit. 
"But I swear to God, if you hurt him I will make sure you 
regret it for the rest of your life."

There was a clattering noise, as if the phone had been dropped 
suddenly, and then the line went dead.

I ran back to the landline. "Did you get anything?"

"Yeah," Doggett said, his tone suggesting it was anything but 
good news. "It looks like he called from the side of the road. 
We can send some guys to check it out but chances are he's 
already gone and we don't know where he's headed."

I clutched the phone so tightly that my knuckles turned white. 
"It was Sark. He was the Alliance spy. How could we not have 
seen it?"

"I know, Mulder," Doggett said gently. "We're workin' on it. 
We'll get him back."

I hung up and returned to the girls, all of whom were now 
alert and anxious looking. "You guys can't go back to the 
Dauphine building." 

Sydney leapt out of her seat. "What's going on," she demanded. 
"What does that twisted fucker want with Vaughn?"

"He works for the Alliance," I said dejectedly. "They suspect 
Vaughn's been talking to somebody and they're trying to figure 
out who."

Lauren's face grew paler by the second. "Will they kill him," 
she asked fearfully.

"Not yet. They probably want to know how much he knows and who 
he may have talked to first. Right now they're on damage 
control." I swallowed hard. "But once they have that 
information...chances are they'll probably kill him, yes."

Lauren ran past me into the bathroom and the sound of her 
vomiting drifted out seconds later. I put my arm around 
Sydney's shoulders. "We won't let them get that far," I vowed.

She nodded and leaned against me, dazed. Nadia stood and went 
after Lauren, most likely to comfort her judging by the hushed 
voices and hiccuping sobs that continued to drift from the 
bathroom.

Sydney pulled away from me after a few seconds. "What can we 
do," she asked determinedly. 

I leaped at the opportunity to talk to her in private and 
guided her to the kitchen. "Sydney, you should talk to your 
father."

She faltered. "What?"

"Vaughn told me you haven't talked to him in a long time, 
but..."

"My relationship with my father is none of your business."

"I know that," I said hurriedly. "But I talked to him and he 
agreed..."

"Wait, you talked to my father," Sydney interrupted, disbelief 
radiating from her face. 

"Sydney, your father is not the person you think he is..."

"I know exactly who my father is. He's an emotionally distant 
man who coped with his wife's death by throwing himself into 
his work as if selling airplane parts was more important than 
being there for his only daughter when she needed him most."

"Your father doesn't sell airplane parts, Sydney," I explained 
carefully. "He never did. He works for the government."

She stared at me, shock and disbelief warring for prominence 
on her face. "What?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this. You should hear it from 
him."

The truth was that Jack Bristow was a CIA agent. Officially, 
his wife was killed in a car accident when Sydney was little. 
Unofficially, her death was the result of a failed attempt to 
assassinate her husband. Rumor had it Jack had spent months - 
possibly years - hunting down her killer. He had succeeded, 
but his obsession with the task had driven a wedge between him 
and Sydney. He had known all along about Sloane's involvement 
with the Alliance and had tried on several occasions to get 
Sydney to quit without giving her too many details. 
Unfortunately, his sudden involvement in her life only made 
things worse. He finally gave up trying to get through to her, 
knowing she would be safer if the Alliance believed she had 
severed ties with her father as they no doubt viewed him as a 
threat to their organization.

"But," she sputtered.

"He couldn't tell you. He didn't want to put you at any more 
risk than you already were."

She collapsed into one of the kitchen stools heavily and 
stared into the distance in shock.

"I know it's a lot to take in, but..."

"My mother," she interrupted. "He told me she died in a car 
accident. Was that another lie?"

"No. She died in a car crash. It just wasn't an accident. It 
was a mistake. The crash was meant to kill your father."

Sydney covered her mouth with one hand, blinking furiously 
against the tears in her eyes.

"I've already told you more than I should have. You need to 
talk to him. There's a lot of things you need to talk about."

She nodded, dazed and I patted her on the shoulder before 
leaving the kitchen to check on the other girls, giving her 
time to recover.

********
VAUGHN

"Why are you doing this," I asked as Sark strapped my legs 
into a pair of stirrups attached to the bottom of a bed. I had 
no idea where we were, but judging by the toilet in the corner 
of the room and the lengthy chain binding my wrists to the 
metal bed frame I wouldn't be leaving any time soon.

"My employers have become concerned about you," he replied. 
"They believe you may be a liability."

"What the fuck are you talking about," I snapped.

"You confronted a man who had been following you. You made it 
clear that you suspected he was working for me and yet you 
never mentioned it to me directly." He attached two small 
electrodes connected to a nearby machine to the sensitive skin 
just behind my testicles. "At first I thought perhaps you had 
assumed I had gotten the message." He flipped a switch and the 
machine hummed to life. My heart began to pound, my breath 
accelerating. I struggled against my restraints helplessly. 
"But now I suspect you didn't confront me because you knew I 
was not the one who had hired the man to follow you." He 
turned a dial on the machine until a red light began to glow 
and let his hand hover over another switch. "So my question 
is: who are you working for?"

I took a deep breath and steeled myself against whatever was 
to come. I stared at him as bravely as I could, saying 
nothing.

He sighed. "Very well." 

He flipped the switch and the current shot through me, 
spreading fire from the contact point between my legs out. I 
screamed and pulled against my restraints, but I couldn't 
escape the painful stimulation.

As quickly as it had started, the current stopped. I gasped 
and panted, moaning as the pain continued to pulse through me.

"Who are you working for," he asked again calmly.

I set my jaw firmly and closed my eyes, bracing myself for the 
next jolt. My back arched from the bed when it came and I 
shouted at the inhuman pain. I couldn't give in. If I told him 
what he wanted to know I could be risking the lives of all the 
girls in the Dauphine building as well as Mulder, John, Monica 
and everyone they were close to. I didn't know how long I 
could survive Sark's "questioning", but I knew I couldn't let 
him break me.

******
(Hours later)

I mewled as Sark wiped the sweat from my forehead with a cool 
washcloth, his touch almost tender and loving. I was barely 
conscious anymore - hanging on to my sanity by a fragile 
thread. As time had passed he had moved the sensors around and 
added more, attaching them to my abdomen, chest and the 
insides of my thighs, continuing to shock me until I was sure 
I would pass out. But I still stubbornly refused to give in.

"Your body can only take so much of this, Michael," he 
murmured, stroking my face from temple to chin with the 
soothing cloth. "Are you really willing to die over this?"

A couple tears escaped the corners of my eyes. "I can't...I 
don't know anything. I work for Arvin Sloane. Please..."

He sighed deeply and reached for the machine. I whimpered as 
he carefully reattached two of the electrodes to my temples. 
"Very well."

My back arched as fire surged through me again. I didn't even 
have the strength to scream anymore. All that emerged from me 
was a pathetic wail. I felt a sudden wetness between my legs 
and dimly realized that my bladder had released itself.

I lay limp when it was over, my limbs still twitching with 
powerful aftershocks. A second voice pierced my fading 
consciousness. He seemed to be scolding Sark. The face of the 
man who had helped Sark kidnap me floated above me just before 
I slipped into unconsciousness.

********
MULDER
(FBI Office: Los Angeles)
(Two days later)

In the large, bare interrogation room under the harsh glare of 
fluorescent lights, Sloane looked small, old and meek. It was 
hard to imagine this man was responsible for countless crimes, 
including weapons dealing and murder. 

It was nearly twenty four hours since the Alliance had been 
disbanded. The take down had gone surprisingly smoothly, with 
only a few casualties - mostly in the cells on the east coast 
and Chicago. Doggett and I had been part of the team that had 
raided the Dauphine building - taking Sloane into custody. He 
hadn't put up a fight and had been strangely serene ever 
since.

"I should have known Michael was working with you," he said by 
way of greeting, his voice calm and unnerving. "You people 
have all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. A rich loner falling 
in love with a common hustler..."

I slammed the file folder I had been carrying on the table in 
front of him loudly. "We both know Vaughn is anything but a 
common hustler," I sneered. 

He cocked his head at me curiously. "Vaughn," he parroted.

I held back a flinch. "That's the name he asked to be called 
by."

A light seemed to flash in his eyes. "You're Will Kuipers, 
aren't you?"

I didn't respond, but it was answer enough for him.

"You actually think you're in love with him..."

"My relationship with Vaughn is not your concern right now. 
What is your concern is the condition we find him in. Now 
where is he?"

Sloane sat up straight, his face showing a mixture of surprise 
and alarm. "I had assumed you knew where he was."

"Don't play dumb with us, Arvin. We know a member of the 
Alliance is holding him. If you tell us where they are we 
might be willing to make your time here more comfortable." 
More like we wouldn't make it any more uncomfortable than 
usual.

"Mister..." he squinted at my ID tag. "Mulder, I am just one 
member of the Alliance. There are eleven others, none of whom 
are required to clear their actions with me."

"You expect me to believe you have no idea where he is?"

"I am simply telling you what I know. Whether or not you 
believe me is your choice."

I circled the table to stand beside him, resting one hand on 
the table and the other on the back of his chair, leaning well 
into his personal space. "If anything happens to Vaughn, I 
will make sure that you are personally held accountable."

He looked me in the eye unflinchingly. "Mr. Mulder, I can 
assure you that, despite what you may think of me, I would 
never do anything to hurt Mr. Vaughn."

I clenched my jaw. This was the man who had abused Vaughn's 
love and trust for over a decade. Now he was the reason Vaughn 
had been missing for almost two days and was possibly dead or 
dying in a gutter somewhere. 

I punched him before I was even aware I had moved. Doggett's 
voice pierced my rage suddenly, his strong arms wrapping 
around my chest, pulling me from Sloane before I could do any 
more damage. He shoved me toward the door. "Back off," he 
barked.

I ground my teeth. I knew he was right. I wasn't thinking 
clearly. Hurting Sloane would not help Vaughn. 

"You will burn in hell," I snarled before walking out of the 
interrogation room, slamming the door behind me.

*******
VAUGHN

'Please God, somebody help me.'

I cried out as the whip struck my exposed skin. For hours Sark 
and the other man Sark had called Noah had alternated between 
beating and electrocuting me. Sometimes I was tied to the bed, 
others I was strung up on a strong but leaky pipe in another 
room. Like now. The cold water dripping steadily from the pipe 
kept me alert and, when coupled with the electric baton Sark 
seemed so fond of, increased my pain. I had lost all sense of 
time. I could have been there hours, days or weeks. I had not 
eaten since I had been captured. What little water they gave 
me had been mostly thrown up in the dingy toilet in my room 
during my brief periods of reprieve. I was starving, thirsty 
and cold. My body shook almost constantly from the pain. But I 
still refused to let them break me.

"Please," I begged. "I don't know anything." 

My head snapped to one side as Noah responded by punching me 
in the face. I spat a mouthful of blood onto the cement floor 
and moaned in pain. I hissed as he pulled my head up by my 
hair, forcing me to look into his dark eyes. "Who do you work 
for," he asked almost gently, his words belying his actions.

"I work for Sloane," I whimpered.

He responded by jabbing his fist into my abdomen, forcing a 
yelp from me.

"This isn't working," I dimly heard Sark tell him.

I sagged in my restraints as Noah released his grip. "Do you 
have a better suggestion?"

"Actually, I do," he mussed, moving to stand in front of me, 
following the path of water trailing down my cheek with his 
fingers. "How does the saying go? One can attract more flies 
with honey than with vinegar..."

*******
MULDER
(FBI Safehouse)

"He's lying," Sydney spat. "He has to be."

"You said yourself he may not know about Sark," Nadia reminded 
her gently.

"I think we're going to have to accept the fact that Sloane 
knows nothing about Vaughn's kidnapping or Sark's involvement 
with the Alliance," I said with a sigh, feeling Lauren tense 
beside me. I squeezed her knee reassuringly.

"So where does that leave us," Lauren asked.

I sighed. "How much do any of you know about Sark?"

Sydney made a noise of frustration. "Nothing! We didn't even 
know he was using bondage on Vaughn until you mentioned it."

"Did Vaughn ever mention Sark taking him anyplace other than 
the usual?"

"The only John he really talked about was you," Lauren said 
softly.

I tried to ignore the clenching in my gut. Getting emotional 
right now would not help Vaughn.

"He always drove a black sports car," Sydney tried.

I shook my head. "We'll try to search for it but he's probably 
switched cars by now. Even if he didn't, it's doubtful it 
would be registered under his real name. If Sark is even his 
real name - we're flying blind right now."

"It was a white sedan," Nadia said. We all stared at her in 
surprise. "After we got in your car, I saw Michael get into a 
white sedan. Maybe that was the car he was driving."

I sat up a little straighter. That was the same car Doggett 
had described seeing leaving the area. "Did you see the 
license plate?"

"I don't remember...I think the letters were BGR, but I can't 
remember the numbers..."

I had my cell phone out before she was finished talking. 
"That's good enough. We'll run a search - see if we come up 
with anything." I stood to move into the kitchen so I could 
make the call and gave Nadia's shoulder a squeeze as I passed. 
"Thank you."

********
VAUGHN

The irony of the situation was not lost on me - the fact that 
Sark was using sex to try to get information from me. He had 
sent Noah from the room long ago, after he had helped Sark 
inject me with something that I now suspected had been an 
aphrodisiac.

I moaned as he manipulated the vibrator inside me, sending 
sparks of pleasure through me, eclipsing the pain. 

He flipped it off suddenly and stilled his hand. "Who are you 
working for?"

I smiled through my drugged haze and underlying pain. "You 
really think you can use sex to break me? I've been a hustler 
since you were wearing braces."

He smirked back. "Ah, but that's where the drug I injected you 
with becomes important." He stroked my hair with the hand not 
holding the vibrator. "A special cocktail of aphrodisiac and 
sodium pentathol...more commonly known as truth serum."

I faltered. His smile widened and he flipped the vibrator back 
on. 

"This is not my choice, you know," he said as he moved the 
vibrator back and forth, searching for my prostate. "Just give 
me the information I need and I'll let you walk out of here."

"Your employers would never allow that," I gasped, fighting 
the pleasure curling in my abdomen.

He paused and cocked his head thoughtfully. "What makes you 
say that?"

I wasn't quite drugged enough to fall for the bait. "Anyone 
who would hire somebody to kidnap and torture someone for 
information wouldn't let that person just walk away." 
Francie's words from several days ago popped into my mind. 
"Anyone who watches television knows that. I've seen your 
face, so I can't be allowed to live, right?"

His smirk returned. "You can't believe everything you see on 
television," he said.

The room was beginning to blur. I could feel my control slowly 
seep away from me. My skin became sensitive to the slightest 
touch and I panted and moaned as the vibrator brushed my 
prostate, sending bolts of pure fire ricocheting through my 
body.

"Who do you work for," I dimly heard Sark ask. 

"I work for Sloane," I mumbled, stubbornly clinging to my last 
remaining thread of lucidity. I couldn't let them win. 

I whimpered as Sark jabbed the vibrator inside me, striking my 
prostate brutally. My body jerked and trembled. 'I work for 
Sloane. I work for Sloane,' I chanted silently.

He stopped the vibrator again, cutting off the maddening 
stimulation. "Who do you work for?"

"Sloane," I repeated, struggling through the fog that seemed 
to be closing in around me. "I work for...Sloane..."

I writhed and moaned as he continued to stimulate my drug-
sensitized body. After several long, agonizing minutes during 
which I fought the effects of the drug and the pleasure 
threatening to overcome my sanity, I came with a wail and 
promptly passed out.

******

I awoke to the feel of gentle fingers rubbing my wrists, 
carefully pulling the cuffs aside to tend to the chaffed skin 
underneath.  I dimly realized that I was only bound to the bed 
by one wrist. Whether that was because they believed I was too 
weak to fight them or they were trying to lull me into a false 
sense of security I didn't know, but I knew I could use it to 
my advantage. I opened my eyes slowly and laboriously to find 
Noah hovering over me.

"'m not dead," I mumbled.

He snorted. "No, Michael, you're not dead."

I smiled inwardly at the frustration in his voice. Obviously I 
hadn't told them anything either.

"You've held on longer than we expected," he admitted. 
"Although I don't suppose I should be surprised after you 
spent the majority of your life on the streets. But you can't 
hold out forever." He gently tended to a long gash in my side 
that I had gotten from a particularly violent strike of the 
whip and prodded at the bruise forming on my abdomen. "Think 
about the people you would leave behind if you died. Your 
mother, Sydney, Lauren...don't make the same mistake Danny 
did."

"Don't you fucking talk about him you son of a bitch," I 
snarled.

"His last thought was of you, you know," Noah continued as if 
I hadn't spoken. "He couldn't really speak - he was choking on 
his own blood - but he mouthed one word...'Michael'."

I stared at him in stunned silence. He had to be bluffing. But 
from the look on his face...no... The only way he could 
possibly know something like that was if...

I surged upward, screaming in outrage, swinging my arms at him 
blindly, the bound one straining against the chain. He shoved 
me back down and immobilized me with frightening ease. Days of 
torture had obviously robbed me of my strength.

"You killed him," I screamed, struggling against his hold, 
white hot anger blurring my vision.

Noah held me down, suffering only a few bruises and scrapes as 
I wore myself out trying to fight him. "It wasn't my choice," 
he said softly when my screams died down. "My employers pay me 
to take care of people they want eliminated. They don't give 
me the details and I don't ask. I just do what they tell me to 
do."

I sobbed angrily. "You killed him, you son of a bitch! You 
killed Danny..."

"I know, Michael," he said softly. "It wasn't my choice and 
I'm sorry. But you have a choice. You can tell us what you 
know and walk away now. Don't make your loved ones go through 
the same pain you did."

I went limp in his hold, taking deep breaths in an effort to 
calm myself. It wouldn't do me any good to waste my energy 
now. "You killed the man I loved. I'm not telling you 
anything."

Noah sighed and let go of me. I lay still, too tired and 
defeated to attempt anything. 

His fist slammed into my abdomen, right over the already 
forming bruise. I groaned in pain and curled onto my side, 
gasping for breath, listening to his retreating footsteps as 
he walked away. The door slammed behind him, followed by the 
metallic sound of the tumblers rattling in the lock, trapping 
me in the small room that had become my prison.

********
MULDER

I crouched behind a dumpster, watching the entrance to the 
warehouse anxiously, forcing myself to take deep breaths and 
focus. Nadia's description of the vehicle Sark had used to 
kidnap Vaughn had paid off. Within twenty-four hours we had 
managed to track the vehicle to an abandoned warehouse just 
outside of Los Angeles. I felt Doggett crouch behind me and 
heard him adjust his kevlar vest and recheck the ammo in his 
Smith and Wesson. We were going to check out the building 
alone. From the lack of any other vehicle or movement around 
the building I doubted we would need to call for backup. I 
just hoped we weren't too late.

I rechecked my own weapon and snapped off the safety, deftly 
sliding a round into the chamber. "You ready," I whispered.

"Yeah," he replied, arming his weapon. "Go slow," he reminded 
me. "Watch for trip wires or detonators."

I nodded. "Let's go."

I crept up to the building and pressed myself to the wall on 
one side of the door, Doggett pressing himself to the other 
side. He made a few hand signals to indicate that I should go 
in first and he would cover me. I nodded and he mouthed a 
countdown. 'One...two...'. 

On three I kicked in the door and stepped inside, sweeping the 
room with my Smith and Wesson. The large room was empty and 
there was no sign of any explosive device. I moved across the 
open space to another door in a cautious half crouch and 
waited until Doggett was beside me. I kicked open the door and 
he slipped inside, gun held out in front of him. He did a 
quick sweep of the room and gave me the all clear signal 
before we hurried to another room.

After two more rooms turned up empty, my hopes began to 
deflate. There was no one here. We had followed a lead to a 
dead end.

I kicked in the last door and burst through, sweeping the room 
as I had all the others. But this time, I froze in mid-sweep, 
my breath catching in my throat. 

I had known it would be bad, but seeing the condition Vaughn 
had been left in made me physically ill. Vaughn was curled on 
a ratty mattress, his bare skin covered in bruises, welts, 
burn marks, blood and various other fluids I didn't want to 
think about. He was anchored to the bedframe by a chain on his 
wrist that allowed just enough play for him to reach the 
small, dank toilet in the corner. 

Doggett swore under his breath and I vaguely heard him radio 
for an ambulance as he began checking the area around the bed 
for explosives. I hurried to Vaughn's side, holstering my 
weapon and calling his name softly, hoping we weren't too 
late. 'He's too still,' I thought frantically. I squatted 
beside him and tentatively brushed his arm with shaking 
fingers. "Vaughn..."

He came alert instantly and thrashed, fighting to get away 
from me.

"Vaughn! It's just me, baby, calm down."

His movements slowed and he squinted up at me with 
considerable effort. "Mulder?"

I winced at the dry, raspy quality to his voice. He must have 
screamed himself hoarse. "Yeah, honey, it's me." I pulled off 
my FBI jacket and spread it over his shivering body. "I need a 
lock pick," I called to Doggett, who was just finishing his 
search of the room. 

"Mulder," he said softly. I looked down to see him pull 
something from beneath the foot of the bed. It looked like a 
leg brace a gynecologist would use, except it had straps to 
hold the "patient's" leg immobile. It was attached to the bed. 

My eyes met Doggett's, my expression no doubt reflecting the 
horror and dismay I could see in his. "Lock pick," I repeated. 

He nodded and ran out of the room, back outside to the car. I 
refocused my attention on Vaughn. "The ambulance will be here 
soon," I said quietly. "We'll get you to a hospital."

"Is it over," he asked, barely audible.

I smiled reassuringly. "Yeah. It's over. We got 'em. The girls 
are safe. They're worried about you."

"Syd..."

"The baby's fine. It took some doing, but I convinced Sydney 
to let us help her. She wanted me to tell you that her dad 
says hello."

He smiled in spite of his obvious pain. "She talked to him?"

I smiled back. "Yeah."

He nodded slightly and winced.

Doggett returned with the lock pick and freed Vaughn in 
seconds. I winced along with him as the blood flowed freely 
through the neglected limb. 

"Can you roll on your back," I asked gently.

I helped him slowly roll over. He groaned in pain when he was 
only halfway there and curled into a partial fetal position. I 
lifted the edge of my jacket and saw, for the first time since 
I arrived, the dark bruise that almost completely covered his 
abdomen. My heart sank. 'Internal bleeding'.

"How far away is that ambulance," I asked, forcing my voice to 
remain calm so I didn't alarm Vaughn.

Doggett looked over my shoulder at the discoloration, his lips 
set in a grim line. "I'll check."

"Ask them if we would be better off bringing him to the 
hospital ourselves."

He nodded and stepped out of the room to make the call so 
Vaughn wouldn't hear.

I held Vaughn's hand and stroked his hair, wishing I could do 
more to comfort him as his face continued to contort with 
pain. 

"Water," he rasped.

"I'm sorry, baby, I can't let you drink anything. You're 
probably gonna need surgery soon."

"How bad," he asked weakly.

I kissed his forehead gently. "You'll be fine. You just have 
to keep fighting. Don't worry about anything else right now."

"Stay with me," he asked, his voice small and almost child-
like.

I squeezed his hand as tightly as I dared. "I'm not going 
anywhere," I promised.

"Ambulance is still twenty minutes away," Doggett announced, 
returning to the room. "We'll take the car." He threw his own 
jacket over Vaughn's lower body and handed me the car keys. 
"I'll take 'im. You get the doors."

I didn't argue with him. I knew Doggett was stronger than me. 
I stood aside and watched him put Vaughn's arms around his 
neck and pick him up carefully, my gut wrenching at Vaughn's 
tiny whimper of pain.

We quickly made our way out to the car and I opened the door 
and slid into the back seat, helping Doggett carefully lay 
Vaughn across the cushions with his upper body pillowed in my 
lap. I tossed the keys to him and he slammed the door. I 
hurried to soothe Vaughn as he winced at the sudden movement. 
Doggett climbed in the driver's seat and started up the 
engine, slapping the portable siren onto the roof and pulling 
away from the warehouse quickly.

I realized suddenly how much the present situation mirrored 
the rape a year ago he had told me about back when he thought 
of me as "Will". I cradled him to my chest and began babbling, 
talking to him about anything and everything - a stream of 
meaningless nonsense - hoping to keep him from regressing to 
that moment in time. I held his hand, squeezing it every time 
a small, unexpected movement of the car caused him to flinch 
and squirm against the pain. He curled into me, his head 
pressed against my shoulder, his pained breaths brushing my 
neck.

"I didn't tell them anything," he mumbled.

I stroked his hair back and pulled him closer to my body, 
trying in vain to quell his shivering. "Them," I repeated 
softly. "There was somebody besides Sark?"

"...man named Noah," he said, his teeth beginning to chatter. 
"He killed Danny."

I wrapped the thin jackets tighter around his shivering body. 
"We didn't find either of them, but we'll keep looking," I 
vowed. 

He nodded and buried his face against my neck with a soft 
moan. I stroked his hair and swallowed a scream of frustration 
and anger. I should have taken him with me to the safehouse. I 
should have known the Alliance would catch on to him. I should 
never have put him in so much danger. 

We arrived at the hospital in a relatively short amount of 
time. Doggett ran around to the back door and opened it, 
reaching in to lift Vaughn out of the car. I waved him off. 

"I've got him."

Vaughn whimpered softly in my ear as I slipped out of the car, 
lifting him into my arms carefully. I swallowed another cry as 
I discovered just how much weight Vaughn had lost in the days 
he had been held captive. He wasn't nearly as heavy as I 
imagined he should have been.

"It's okay, I've got you," I whispered in his ear. He clung to 
me weakly and I carried him through the automatic doors into 
the hospital. The two women behind the desk at the entrance 
took one look at Vaughn's state and rushed to call for a 
nurse. Within seconds, Vaughn was transferred to a gurney and 
I had to run along with a group of nurses as they wheeled him 
down a long hallway, answering their rapid-fire questions as 
best as I could.

"Sir, you're going to have to stay out here," one of them said 
as we came to a door marked "hospital staff only". 

I leaned over the gurney as they paused outside the door, 
tuning out the bustling and medical chatter of the nurses 
surrounding us. "I'll be right out here waiting for you," I 
promised. 

He nodded and squeezed my hand, a tear of pain escaping the 
corner of his eye and disappearing into his hair. I kissed his 
hand and reluctantly let go, watching as the gurney was pushed 
through a set of swinging doors, disappearing around a corner.

********

It took Doggett hours to get me to settle into one of the 
hospital waiting room chairs. I had no sooner sat down than 
Reyes arrived with Sydney, Lauren and Nadia.

"Is he okay," were the first words out of Sydney's mouth.

"He's in surgery right now," Doggett said calmly. "We'll know 
more when he's out."

Sydney looked at me questioningly, as if searching for a more 
satisfying answer.

"He was tortured," I said numbly.

"Oh, god," Lauren gasped, sinking into the chair beside me.

"Did you catch Sark," Nadia asked, perching in the chair 
opposite me.

I shook my head. "He was gone when we got there. So was the 
man who was with him...Vaughn said his name is Noah. He told 
Vaughn he was the one who killed Danny."

Sydney's posture stiffened. She opened her mouth to say 
something - likely to demand that we catch the son of a bitch 
- but was interrupted when a man in a white lab coat 
approached us. 

"Are you here with Michael Vaughn," he asked. 

I sprang from my seat. "Yes. I'm Fox Mulder, FBI." I reached 
to shake his hand and he accepted.

"I'm Doctor Jain. Mr. Vaughn's surgery went well. He's in 
recovery right now."

"Is he okay," Sydney asked.

"There's always a chance of complications, but right now I 
don't see a reason for him to not make a full recovery."

I felt all three girls breathe a sigh of relief.

"However, that's just his internal injuries. I am told Mr. 
Vaughn was held captive for several days," he continued.

"Nearly a week," I confirmed. 

He nodded. "That would explain the advanced state of 
dehydration and malnutrition. He has multiple leisions and 
electrical burns on his body. Almost all of them are 
superficial, but the signs of prolonged torture have me 
concerned about his state of mind. He also appears to have 
been sodomized..."

I flinched. "Yeah, we suspected as much."

"We've performed a rape kit already. How much do you know 
about Mr. Vaughn's recent sexual history?"

I flinched again, inwardly. "He's...he *was* a prostitute."

"He's always very careful about protection," Sydney jumped in. 
"Except..." She pressed her hand to her abdomen. "I'm having 
his child."

If the evidence of Vaughn's promiscuity shocked Dr. Jain, he 
didn't show it. "We'll screen him for STDs. I'd like to run 
some tests on you as well, if that's all right."

"Whatever you think is necessary," I cut in. "And the FBI will 
need a sample from the rape kit for DNA."

He nodded. "Of course."

I watched him walk away for a moment, then turned on my heel, 
brushing aside Reyes' "are you all right?" and heading 
straight for the bathroom.

I slammed into the first stall I came to and promptly threw 
up. My mind wouldn't stop replaying the image of Vaughn as we 
had found him in the warehouse - cold, weak, bleeding, in 
pain...scared and starved half to death. What if we hadn't 
gotten to him when we did? What if we'd been too late?

I took several deep breaths and steadied myself before 
flushing and moving to wash my hands. I heard the bathroom 
door squeak open behind me and wiped away the tear that had 
worked it's way slowly down my cheek. 

"You really do love him, don't you?"

I looked up, startled. Sydney stood in the doorway, her arms 
wrapped around herself as if to ward away a chill. "You 
shouldn't be here."

"I've been in plenty of men's rooms," she shrugged. "You 
didn't answer my question."

I hesitated only a moment. "Yes."

She smiled and crossed the short distance to wrap her arms 
around me. "Good," she said simply.

*******
VAUGHN

"You scream and we'll put a bullet in your head, bitch," the 
man sneered as his buddy shoved his pants to his knees and 
plunged inside me.

I clenched my jaw, barely muffling a scream at the brutal 
invasion. After eleven years as a hustler it seemed strange 
that sex could still be painful for me, but the feel of the 
gun barrel pressing against my temple made relaxing my muscles 
to accept the thick cock impossible. Even though they had 
spent a while beating me into submission, they still held me 
down, just in case the gun wasn't enough to convince me to 
stay still.

"Please," I begged, my voice small and quivering with fear. 
"Don't..." I felt tears forming in my eyes - both at the pain 
and the humiliation. 

One of the thugs holding me down let go long enough to punch 
me in the face. "Shut up," he growled.

I sobbed and whimpered as the guy fucking me finished with a 
grunt and pulled out abruptly. I was sure they would kill me 
once they were finished with me no matter what I did. I 
struggled as they rotated positions so one of the guys holding 
me down could get a turn raping me and earned a punch in the 
gut for my efforts.

I cried out as the second man thrust inside my already abused 
channel and felt the barrel of the gun press harder to my 
temple, painfully bruising the skin.

"Who do you work for?"

I looked up through the pain and tears to see Sark hovering 
over me. He snapped his hips, driving his cock deeper into me 
and I yelped. "Who do you work for," he repeated.

"I work for Sloane," I cried. "Please..."

"Don't make the same mistake Danny did," Noah hissed, pressing 
the gun even harder against my temple. "I can kill you just as 
easily as I killed him."

"Please," I sobbed, tears squeezing out from the corners of my 
eyes. "I don't know anything. Please. Stop hurting me."

"You betrayed my trust, Vaughn," another voice said. I turned 
my head to see Sloane holding me down. "I took you off the 
streets. I gave you a place to live and money to put food on 
the table and this is how you repay me?"

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.

I closed my eyes and opened them to find myself alone in the 
alley, my clothes torn, half hanging on my thin frame. I felt 
bruised and battered. Every time I moved even slightly, pain 
shot through my body, most of it radiating from between my 
legs. I knew I had to be torn badly. I could feel blood 
trickling down my thighs and it felt like I might be bleeding 
internally too.

I rolled over with great effort and cried out at the 
debilitating pain. No, I couldn't die here. Not like this. 

I forced myself to my hands and knees and crawled slowly, 
pulling myself in the direction of the phone booth that seemed 
to appear suddenly in front of me. But the more I crawled the 
further away it was. 

'No,' I thought frantically. 'Sydney...the baby...I have to 
keep them safe. Sark will go after them...'

Mulder appeared in front of me suddenly, blocking my path to 
the phone booth. "I never loved you," he sneered. "You were 
just a means to an end."

I coughed painfully, spraying a fine mist of blood onto the 
sidewalk, feeling more of it run down my chin. "Please... 
Will...help me..."

He laughed. "I can't believe you actually thought I would 
ever see something in a whore like you...wake up, Vaughn."

I collapsed onto the sidewalk, helpless, crying out as my 
already bruised body was jarred painfully. I was really going 
to die here... "Please," I begged softly.

"Wake up," Mulder said again, his voice louder, more frantic. 
"Come on, baby, wake up."

I blinked slowly and the sidewalk, the street and the elusive 
phone booth disappeared, replaced by a dimly lit hospital 
room. Mulder hovered over me, his hands gripping my shoulders, 
holding me down gently but firmly. 

"It's okay, Vaughn. It was just a nightmare," he said 
worriedly.

I lay still for several moments, trying to catch my breath. A 
nightmare. Of course. 

Mulder stroked my hair and muttered a string of soothing 
nonsense as the nightmare gradually loosened it's hold on me, 
my breathing slowly evening out. He disappeared for a moment 
and returned with a cool washcloth, which he ran over my face 
and neck. I watched in wary amazement.

"How do you feel," he asked softly. "Are you in pain?"

The suggestion alone seemed to make me aware of a dull 
throbbing in my stomach. "A little," I admitted, wincing at 
the scratchy quality of my voice. "Water," I rasped.

He winced. "Okay, I'll see if I can get you some."

He disappeared and I stared after him for several long 
minutes. Part of me was surprised that he was still there. I 
had half expected him to ditch me the second the Alliance was 
destroyed - no longer having a reason to stick around. But the 
more cynical part of me wondered if he was staying only 
because I was in no condition to fend for myself. He still saw 
me as a fallen man for him to save. Once he realized it was 
hopeless, he would leave and I would end up right back on the 
street. Only this time I wouldn't have the girls with me...or 
Sloane. That thought scared me. In spite of everything Sloane 
had done, he had always been kind to me. He treated me like 
family. I knew not everyone was that lucky.

Mulder returned, styrofoam cup in hand and a nurse in tow. He 
stood back while she checked the monitors and listened to my 
chest with a stethoscope. 

"I'm going to check your stitches, okay," she said softly 
before carefully peeling back the hospital sheets and gown. I 
flinched, unable to hold back a tiny whimper as she gently 
prodded at my sore abdomen. She apologized but kept on 
prodding.

I let my eyes wander the room, trying to distract myself from 
the discomfort and caught Mulder staring at me with an 
expression that seemed to be a combination of sympathy, pride 
and love. I looked away quickly. I no longer doubted his claim 
that he loved me. But I doubted his ability to distinguish 
love from lust and pity. I had allowed myself to fall for it 
for a while but I couldn't take it any longer.

The nurse adjusted my pain medication and left with 
instructions for me to let her know if I needed anything.

"Here," Mulder said softly, holding a spoonful of ice chips 
out for me. I let him feed me the ice reluctantly. Eventually, 
I knew, I would have to push him away. But for now, I was too 
weak to protest.

The painkillers kicked in quickly and I drifted to sleep with 
the feel of Mulder combing his fingers gently through my hair. 

**********

I woke to find Mulder gone and Lauren sitting in the chair 
beside my bed.

"Hey," I greeted, my voice still weak.

She leaped up and carefully threw her arms around my 
shoulders, hugging me with restrained strength. "Don't ever do 
that again."

I hugged her back as best I could, wincing as my aching body 
protested the movement. "I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you guys. 
They would have killed me..."

She pulled back with a tiny sniffle. "I know. Will...Agent 
Mulder told us everything."

"How are Sydney and Nadia?"

She smiled and shook her head. "They're fine. Sydney talked to 
Jack."

"I know. Mulder told me."

"I'm not sure what changed, but she seems to have forgiven 
him."

It felt like a giant weight had lifted off my shoulders. 
Sydney was talking to her father again. I knew he was more 
than capable of helping her get back on her feet.

"How do you feel," Lauren asked worriedly.

"Like I was hit by a truck."

She winced and stroked my hair.

"Where is Mulder," I asked after several long moments of 
silence.

"He just left," she said simply.

I closed my eyes. I had known he would ditch me eventually, I 
just didn't expect it to happen quite so fast. Having my 
suspicions confirmed so easily was more painful than I cared 
to admit.

"Vaughn," Lauren said worriedly, gripping my hand tightly. 
"Are you all right? Should I get the nurse?"

I shook my head and squeezed her hand. "No," I rasped, giving 
her a small smile. "I'm fine. Where's Sydney?"

"She went with Agent Mulder."

I stared at her in shock. "What?"

Lauren blinked at me, confused. "Sydney, Nadia and Agent 
Mulder just left to get some food and coffee. The instant 
coffee they have in this hospital is terrible. Why?"

I sagged back against the pillows and told myself the relief I 
felt had more to do with Sydney than Mulder. "Nothing."

I could tell she didn't believe me. She wasn't stupid - even 
though she sometimes played the dumb blonde with her Johns. 
But for now she was willing to let it go. "You should try to 
get some rest," she said, stroking my hair. 

I closed my eyes and let her lull me back into a restless 
sleep.

********

I moaned into Mulder's mouth as he rocked his hips against 
mine. We were both still clothed, but I felt like I could come 
from this alone.

I was almost there when he groaned and stilled above me. I lay 
quietly, panting as I waited for him to come back down and 
finish me. Instead he rolled away and stood up, adjusting his 
clothing.

"That was great, baby."

"But," I sputtered. "You're just going to leave me like this?" 

He stilled and stared at me in confusion. "That was the plan, 
wasn't it?" I bit my lip as he reached into his wallet and 
tossed several bills at me. "Here, buy yourself a sandwich. 
You're starting to look sick."

I clutched the money in one hand and leaped from the bed to 
follow him as he headed for the door. 

"Wait!"

I only got a few feet before I was stopped short by a sturdy 
chain wrapped around my wrist, binding me to the bed.

"The key is on the wall," Mulder called over his shoulder. 
"You can free yourself."

I searched the room frantically and located the key dangling 
from a hook on the far wall. I ran to retrieve it but found 
the chain holding me wasn't quite long enough to reach. I 
stretched my arm as far as I possibly could, grunting with the 
effort, but the key remained just beyond my extended fingers, 
the metal glinting merrily in the dim light as if to mock me.

"I can't get it," I called toward the door Mulder had 
disappeared through. "It's too far away!"

There was no response. I realized with horror that he had 
already left. And since the building was abandoned there was 
no telling when anyone would find me.

"Mulder! Please don't leave me here like this," I shouted 
frantically. "Mulder!"

"Vaughn," Mulder's voice called from somewhere beside me. 
"Vaughn, can you hear me?"

I opened my eyes to find Mulder hovering over my head. The 
warehouse had been replaced by stark hospital walls. I moved 
my hands experimentally. No chains. I closed my eyes. It was 
just another dream.

I held back a flinch as Mulder stroked my hair.

"You're still here," I observed, my voice still unsteady and 
dry. 

He smiled. "Of course I am. I told you I wouldn't leave."

I shook my head. "Why?"

He froze, his fingers halfway through my hair. "What do you 
mean?"

"It's over. The Alliance is gone. You don't need me anymore."

He drew his hand back slowly, a wounded look on his face. "You 
still think this was just about taking down the Alliance?"

"I think you're fooling yourself if you still think you're in 
love with me."

"Vaughn..."

"I'm a hustler, Mulder," I interrupted. "I've spent the better 
part of my life getting paid to have sex with anonymous men. 
You might think you love me now, but eventually you'll realize 
that sex is all I'm good for. And when that happens, you'll 
get tired of me because you'll know that outside the bedroom 
I'm nothing but a fucked up whore with more baggage than you 
know what to do with."

He stood in stunned silence for a long time. "Is that what you 
think?"

I shifted painfully on the bed, unnerved by his calm stare, 
but said nothing.

He bent down to kiss me, taking advantage of my surprise to 
shove his tongue past my unresisting lips. He explored every 
inch of my mouth before finally pulling away, allowing me a 
much needed breath of air. He grabbed me by the chin and 
forced my eyes to meet his. "I love you, Vaughn," he said 
firmly. "You were never just a hustler to me and I don't ever 
want to hear you say that fucking is all you are good for 
again. You are smarter than that. I know you are more capable 
than you make yourself out to be."

I snorted softly in disbelief and opened my mouth to say 
something more but he cut me off with two fingers pressed to 
my lips. "I don't care if you're injured," he said. "If you 
say one more word about being a useless whore I will slap 
you."

I quieted reluctantly.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe this relationship won't last long, 
but you know what? I don't care. Because that's the nature of 
relationships regardless of what one does for a living. I know 
it's going to be rocky - at least in the beginning. There will 
probably be many arguments and a lot of frustration, but none 
of that matters because I know we can work through whatever 
problems we may face together. I want to be there for you when 
you start your new life. I want to be there for all of the ups 
and downs. I want you to let me love you."

I sat in stunned silence for a few moments.

"No," I said simply. 

He stared at me for several heartbeats before he slowly drew 
his hand away. "Okay," he said softly. "If that's what you 
want." 

He gave me one last lingering look before walking out the 
door.

I turned my head away from the door and tried to ignore the 
tears pricking my eyes.

*******

I had just drifted off when I was awoken by a sharp jab to my 
arm. I cracked my eyes open and saw Sydney standing over me, 
her arms folded, a pissed off expression on her face.

"What the hell is wrong with you," she demanded.

"What," I asked sleepily.

"You told Mulder to leave?"

"I..."

"Do you have any idea what you're walking away from?" She 
didn't pause to let me answer. "That man would bend over 
backwards to make you happy and you tell him to get lost?"

"He would have come to his senses eventually," I finally cut 
in, coming fully awake.

She went silent for several minutes, staring at me with 
something akin to disbelief. Then she sighed heavily and 
perched on the edge of the bed. "I know in our line of 
business it's hard to not be cynical. All we ever see is the 
bleak, gritty side of relationships. But you can't let it 
blind you to love if it comes along."

I snorted and winced as my injuries protested the gesture. "He 
could never love me."

She huffed, clearly frustrated. "He already does Vaughn. And 
he just spent the last hour practically crying on my shoulder 
because *you* refuse to see it."

I faltered.

"Anybody can see Agent Mulder is head over heels for you. Open 
your eyes and stop being so stubborn."

I played with the edges of the bedsheet nervously. "He's still 
here?"

"Yes, but only because I begged him to give you another 
chance. Apparently he promised you he would leave if you 
wanted him to. I convinced him that you were too drugged and 
in pain to know what you were saying."

My eyes darted around the room. "I can't..."

She grabbed my hand. "It's been ten years, Vaughn. You need to 
let go of the past and move on. Mulder may be the best thing 
that's ever happened to you. I've seen the look in your eye 
whenever 'Will' pulled up. You're falling for him. Stop trying 
to deny it and go with him. If it doesn't work out, fine. At 
least you'll have a new life and a decent job. But if you 
don't go, you'll end up regretting it for the rest of your 
life."

I was silent for several moments, listening to the muffled 
sounds of the busy hospital filtering from the other side of 
the door. "What about you and the baby," I finally asked.

"We're gonna stay here. Dad and I have a lot of catching up to 
do." She smiled. "I won't make you pay child support or 
anything, but I will expect you to visit every once in a 
while."

"I will," I vowed.

Her smile grew wider. "Does that mean you'll talk to him?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, just...not yet."

She gave in reluctantly. "Okay." She bent down to kiss me. 
"I'm going to go get something to eat. You get some rest."

I squeezed her hand. "Okay."

********
(Hours later)

I woke from a dreamless sleep feeling drugged and lethargic. 

'Pain meds,' I thought blearily. I pried my eyes open and saw 
a blurry figure sitting in the corner of the room, watching a 
muted basketball game on the small hospital television. I 
tried to sit up and gasped as a dull pain throbbed in my 
stomach. 

The blurry figure moved and gentle hands pushed me back to the 
bed. 

"Easy," Mulder's voice whispered.

I coughed, my throat feeling uncomfortably dry, and moaned as 
my body throbbed in protest. A second later Mulder was holding 
a styrofoam cup of water under my chin, gently prodding my 
lips with the straw. "Here."

I sucked greedily, the cool liquid soothing my raw throat and 
bringing my blurred vision back into focus. When I finished I 
watched silently as he replaced the cup on the nearby tray. He 
seemed different somehow. Ragged, exhausted...defeated almost. 
I wondered how long it had been since he'd gone home...or 
wherever it was he was staying in Los Angeles.

He helped me raise the bed a little and pulled his chair over 
to sit beside me, his hand resting loosely on mine.

"Sydney talked to me," he began hesitantly. "She made me 
realize that maybe I've been pushing too hard. Maybe it would 
be better if we took things slow."

I shook my head. "I..."

He pressed two fingers to my lips, silencing me. "I know it's 
hard for you to accept, but I really do love you. Please don't 
push me away."

I bit my lip and shifted on the bed, swallowing a whimper at 
the dull pain.

He noticed my distress and pressed a gentle hand to my chest, 
easing my movements. "I know you're scared, but I swear to you 
I meant every word I said. This was never about sex. If you 
never want to have sex again that's a sacrifice I'm more than 
willing to make. I want to take care of you. I want to wake up 
beside you every morning and fall asleep with you in my arms 
every night. But most of all I want to make you happy." He 
paused and took a deep breath. "Will you move to Virginia with 
me?"

I thought about it for a moment. Every instinct in me screamed 
that it would be a huge mistake - that I could only get hurt. 
But deep down I knew Sydney was right. Even if there was a 
good chance Mulder would leave me, if I didn't take the risk I 
would regret it the rest of my life.

"Okay," I said softly.

A slow smile lit up his face. "Okay?"

I nodded nervously.

He grinned and leaned forward to capture my lips in a deep 
kiss. It wasn't so much a kiss of passion as it was a show of 
gratitude. He pulled back and smiled at me. "I love you," he 
said softly.

I opened and closed my mouth hesitantly. Did he expect me to 
say it back?

"You don't have to say anything," he said, almost as if he 
could read my thoughts.

I lay quietly for several long minutes. His fingers traced 
random patterns up and down the inside of my arm, making me 
shiver.

"By the way, I wanted to tell you earlier, but I never got a 
chance," he said. "The doctor tested you for STDs."

I closed my eyes. This was it. This was the part where I found 
out that the only reason he wanted me to stay with him was 
because I had AIDS or something and his Florence Nightingale 
complex wouldn't allow him to leave me to die alone. 

"I wanted to be the one to tell you," he continued. "They all 
came back negative. You're clean."

My eyes shot open and I stared at him in shock. Clean? "There 
must be a mistake..."

"There's no mistake."

"But...how is that possible?"

He shrugged, the smile still plastered to his face. "I don't 
know, but it's true. Aside from the injuries you got in 
captivity you're perfectly healthy."

My mouth opened and closed silently. I felt tears spring to my 
eyes.

Mulder carefully slipped his arms behind my shoulders and held 
me tightly as the tears began to fall. I clung to him as best 
I could, the tears flowing faster, feeling lightheaded. Twelve 
years I had spent letting men fuck me for a profit. I had 
always been careful and used protection and the men who raped 
me had used condoms because they didn't want to catch anything 
from a "dirty whore", but even that didn't account for this. 
Condoms were not infallible. The only way I could have 
survived for so long as a hustler and not gotten any sort of 
infection was by being incredibly lucky.

"It's okay," Mulder murmured in my ear.

"What about the girls," I asked shakily.

Mulder eased me back down to the bed and gently wiped the 
tears from my cheeks. "Sydney was tested. She has a mild 
infection, but the doctor told her it shouldn't affect the 
baby. Lauren and Nadia haven't been tested yet."

I closed my eyes and nodded, taking a deep breath and trying 
to get myself back under control.

"Whenever you're ready, the FBI is going to want a statement. 
I've put it off for as long as possible but my boss is 
starting to lose his patience."

I swallowed heavily. "Okay."

"I can have Agent Reyes do it if you'd be more comfortable..."

I shook my head. "Can John do it?" I didn't know much about 
John Doggett, but I sensed he would be the least likely to 
treat me like a fragile, broken man - something I didn't think 
I could handle at that point.

Mulder quickly covered up his look of surprise but not before 
I saw it. "Of course." He stroked his fingers down my cheek. 
"I'll have him come by tomorrow morning."

I nodded. "Thank you."

He smiled and kissed me softly. "Get some rest. I'll be right 
here."

I smiled back hesitantly. "Yeah. Okay."

*******

I sat in the old rocking chair on the porch of the Martha's 
Vineyard house Mulder had inherited from his mother. Donovan, 
the little bulldog he had bought for me, lay curled at my 
feet, snoring contentedly. I pulled the light blanket tighter 
around my shoulders to ward off the late autumn breeze and 
watched the squirrels frantically scurrying in the yard to 
bury their acorns in preparation for winter. 

It had been seven months since the destruction of the Alliance 
and I was almost fully recovered physically. I was starting to 
feel stir crazy, but I was nervous about having to face the 
world again. My scars were fading and I hadn't had a nightmare 
in over a week, but I knew I was still healing emotionally.

Lauren had moved back to her hometown in Virginia, a couple 
hours away from Mulder and I. Sydney and Nadia had rented an 
apartment together back in Los Angeles, only a few miles away 
from Jack Bristow's apartment building. We all still kept in 
touch, in spite of the distances, but sometimes I missed not 
being able to see them every day.

"Here."

I jumped as Mulder appeared suddenly beside me, holding out a 
steaming mug of cider. I took it from him, wrapping my hands 
around the worn ceramic, feeling the warmth seep into my 
fingers. "Thanks."

He sat on the swing beside me and sipped at his own cup. 
"Sydney called. She wanted you to know she's decided to name 
the baby Isabelle."

I smiled. Isabelle had been my suggestion. "Did you get the 
plane tickets yet?"

He nodded. "Are you sure you want me to go with you?"

"If you don't want to..."

"No," he said quickly. "I'd love to. I just wanted to make 
sure you weren't asking because you were afraid I'd skip town 
while you were away."

I fingered the edge of my cup, feeling the little droplets of 
steam stick to my hand, warming my skin. "No," I said 
nervously. "I just want you there when my daughter is born." 
It sounded stupid when I said it like that but Mulder was fast 
becoming one of the most important people in my life. I felt 
he should be there for something so significant.

He cupped my chin gently and turned my face toward his. "I 
know," he said. "I'm flattered." He kissed me softly, 
lovingly.

I moved closer to him, curling into his side. He wrapped his 
arm around my shoulders and kissed my hair.

"Dr. Barnett called. She wanted to reschedule your appointment 
on Wednesday."

I sighed. Mulder had insisted I see an FBI appointed 
psychologist. Admittedly she was helping, but she and I didn't 
exactly see things the same way - to put it gently.

"I canceled it."

I froze, my cup halfway to my lips. "What?"

He set his mug down on a small folding table and framed my 
face with his hands. "I know you're not happy here. And it's 
not fair of me to ask you to live so far away from your 
daughter..."

I felt my heart begin to pound. Was this it? After all this 
time he was going to just send me away?

"There's a job opening at the FBI office in LA..."

"You..." I swallowed nervously. "You're moving to LA?"

He nodded, a smile spreading slowly across his face. "I was 
hoping you'd come with me."

I felt lightheaded. I set my mug down on the ground and threw 
myself into his arms. "Yes," I whispered. "Yes!"

He laughed and wrapped his arms around me tightly. "I thought 
you might."

I pulled back and kissed him gratefully. He was right. As nice 
as Virginia was, I missed having the girls around me and I 
wanted to be a part of my child's life.

Mulder cupped the back of my neck and deepened the kiss 
briefly, his teeth nipping lightly at my lower lip before 
pulling away. I stared at him as a sudden realization dawned 
on me. We hadn't had sex in months. He was always touching me, 
kissing me and he always held me through my nightmares. More 
often than not I woke up in the morning to find myself 
plastered to him, our limbs entangled with each other. But he 
had never taken it any further. And now he wanted to move to 
Los Angeles with me because it would make me happy. For the 
first time I wondered if I had been wrong about him all 
along...if he truly did love me.

"What's wrong," he asked worriedly.

"Nothing," I said hurriedly. "I just realized...we haven't had 
sex since before the takedown of the Alliance."

He smiled. "The night you gave me the list of Sloane's girls," 
he confirmed. "You were so nervous but determined. I knew then 
that I had made the right choice, recruiting you."

"No...I mean, why?"

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"We haven't had sex in months. You haven't even seemed 
interested..."

He laughed. "Oh, I'm interested. I just didn't think you were 
ready." He stroked his fingers down my cheek. "You've been 
through so much..."

I realized suddenly that he had been waiting all this time for 
me to make the first move. He still wanted me but he was 
willing to abstain for as long as it took for me to be 
"ready".

"What if I'm ready now?"

His breath caught. "Are you?"

I responded by straddling his lap and kissing him tentatively. 
I pulled back after a moment and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready."

His hands went to my hips, at once holding me steady and 
holding me back. "I need to be sure you're not doing this 
because you think you have to. After everything that's 
happened I would understand if you never wanted to have sex 
again. If we do this it'll be because you want to - not 
because you feel some sort of obligation."

I kissed him. "I want to."

He smiled and kissed me back. Then, inexplicably, he began to 
laugh.

I frowned. "What?"

He pointed to the ground behind me and I turned to find 
Donovan lapping up the rest of my rapidly cooling cider.

"Donovan," I scolded, sliding off Mulder's lap and reaching to 
snatch the mug.

Mulder stopped me. "Let him. It can't hurt him." He stood up 
and held his hand out to me. "C'mon."

I took his hand and let him pull me up from the bench and lead 
me inside. 

We were barely through the bedroom door when he stopped and 
pulled me into his arms for a passionate kiss. I melted into 
him, humming into his mouth.

"Do you have condoms," I asked as he abandoned my lips to 
begin on my neck, his hands slipping underneath the hem of my 
sweater.

"I thought maybe we could do without them tonight," he 
murmured between wet kisses to the sensitive skin where my 
neck met my shoulder.

I froze.

He sensed my hesitation and began back pedaling immediately. 
"I've got some in the bathroom if you're not comfortable. I 
just thought...since we're both clean...I wanted to feel you." 
He let his hands slide from under my sweater. "I can get 
them..."

"No," I blurted. "It's just that..." I shifted nervously. 
"Nobody's ever fucked me without protection. Not even Danny."

He smiled kindly and kissed my cheek. "We don't have to do it 
if it makes you uncomfortable."

His offer hung in the silence of the room for a good minute 
while my mind waged an internal debate. "No," I finally said 
softly. "I want to feel you too."

His eyes darkened and he captured my lips hungrily, exploring 
every inch of my mouth with his tongue until my knees felt 
weak. He removed my clothes gently until I was standing before 
him in nothing but a pair of boxers. I shivered as the cool 
air raised goosebumps on my bare skin. Mulder maneuvered me 
until I was standing next to the bed and pushed me until I lay 
sprawled on my back in the middle of the king size mattress. 
He followed me down and spread my legs with warm, steady 
hands, kneeling between them and bending to resume his 
exploration of my body, starting with my chest.

I moaned loudly when his lips closed over my left nipple and 
he froze, lifting his head to look into my face. "Vaughn..."

I knew exactly what he was going to say. I had instinctively 
reverted back to my old habits - reacting loudly to the 
slightest touch. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, it's okay," he said hurriedly. "I just don't want you to 
pretend with me. You don't have to fake pleasure. You won't 
bruise my ego or anything."

"I know," I whispered. "It just slipped."

He smiled. "It's okay. But from now on I want any noises you 
make during sex to be genuine. If it doesn't feel good, you 
don't have to pretend it does."

I bit my lip and nodded, grunting as he returned his 
attentions to my chest, sucking on my nipples one by one. He 
slowly traveled down my body, awakening nerves I thought had 
gone numb years ago. I relaxed and tried to force myself to 
remember what sex was supposed to be like for somebody who 
didn't have to sell their body for a profit.

I whimpered when he drew his finger over my navel.

He hesitated. "Vaughn?"

"I'm really sensitive there," I explained quickly.

A slow smile spread across his face. "Really?" He dipped his 
finger purposefully in the hollow of skin and I hissed, 
squirming restlessly. "How could I not have noticed that 
before?"

"Most guys don't."

"Yeah, well, I'm not 'most guys'." He ran his finger around 
the rim and dipped inside again.

I bat at his hand. "Stop. It tickles."

He smiled and bent to dip his tongue teasingly in the cavity. 
"How about that," he asked. "Does that tickle?"

I moaned but didn't reply. He repeated the motion and I moaned 
louder, my hips twitching involuntarily.

"Interesting," he murmured. He gave one last lick to my navel 
and mercifully moved on, painting random patterns across my 
abdomen. He skirted around my cock and continued down my 
thighs. "Has anybody rimmed you before," he asked almost 
casually.

I hesitated. "Yeah, but they had a mouthguard."

He brushed his finger over my hole. "Would you let me?"

I squirmed. "Yeah, but..."

"It's okay if you don't want to," he added hurriedly.

"No, I do, it's just...are you sure?"

He smiled. "Roll over," he said simply.

He helped me roll onto my stomach and placed a pillow under my 
hips.

"Relax," he whispered in my ear before kissing his way down my 
back as leisurely as he had my front. I moaned softly when he 
reached the small of my back. "Are you sensitive here too?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "But not as much."

He focused his attention there for what felt like hours anyway 
until I began to squirm. I held my breath when I felt him 
trace once finger down the center of my ass.

"Relax," he repeated as he gently separated the globes. 
"Breathe."

I hissed as he dragged his tongue all the way from my balls to 
the top of my buttocks. Then he focused his attention on the 
clenching opening in the middle, swirling his tongue in 
maddening circles around it but never quite getting near 
enough. I instinctively spread my legs, opening myself to him 
and felt him rub my thighs encouragingly.

I gasped when I felt the tip of his tongue slip inside 
suddenly, darting back out before I could fully register its 
presence. He repeated the motion a few more times until I 
began to squirm. 

"Stop teasing," I pleaded.

I inhaled sharply, my body going completely still, as his 
tongue pushed deeper inside me, gently stretching the tight 
ring of muscles, opening me to him. I whimpered and clenched 
my fists in the sheets, forcing myself both to relax and stay 
absolutely still, resisting the urge to buck back into him, 
letting him control the speed and depth of his exploration. It 
was startlingly intimate and erotic. He pressed one thumb into 
the sensitive spot behind my balls and I moaned, feeling my 
cock grow thick and heavy, my body relaxing, fully open and 
responsive to his every touch.

His tongue left me suddenly and I held back a whine. I laid 
still and listened to him fumble for something in the bedside 
dresser, followed by the familiar sounds of a bottle of 
lubricant being opened. 

"You leave the condoms in the bathroom but you keep the lube 
out here," I observed without opening my eyes.

"Condoms don't serve much purpose if you don't have a 
partner," he answered simply.

I wondered vaguely if he had made use of the lubricant since I 
had moved in with him. 

I hissed as the cold liquid drizzled over my exposed opening.

"Sorry," he whispered, swirling one finger through the pool of 
fluid, spreading it around the edges of the winking hole, 
warming it instantly.

He dipped the tip of his finger inside, barely past the first 
knuckle and pulled it back, resuming his maddening circles 
around the sensitive rim. He repeated the process several 
times until I was sure I would go insane. Circle. Circle. Dip. 
Circle.

"Please," I gasped. "More..."

My plea dissolved into a breathy moan as his finger slid 
easily inside me, past the second knuckle. He thrust a couple 
of times experimentally and then slipped a second finger in, 
gently stretching me, coating me with lubricant.

I bucked when the fingers inside me curled downward, pressing 
against the spot that made my cock surge. My hips rolled in 
small, rhythmic thrusts as warmth began to pool between my 
legs. I felt his lips brush my ear, his heated breath tickling 
the sensitive shell. 

"That's it," he encouraged softly. "Let go...let it feel 
good."

I whimpered as he slipped a third finger inside, the tiny 
twinge of discomfort instantly transforming into pleasure as 
my body welcomed the intrusion. By the time he pushed a fourth 
finger inside I was thrusting into the pillow beneath me, 
mindless with the mounting pleasure. He bent low over me and I 
felt his tongue dip into the small of my back, painting 
maddening circles over the sensitive skin as his fingers 
twisted and writhed within me, rubbing insistently over that 
one spot.

I cried out, startled, as the tension in my abdomen snapped 
suddenly and I thrust into the pillow beneath me, lost in a 
wave of white-hot pleasure.

I floated back down to Earth gradually, my body quivering with 
the force of my sudden orgasm, feeling like I had been 
shattered into a thousand pieces. The room seemed to spin as 
Mulder gently maneuvered my limp body until I was on my back, 
rearranging the pillow beneath my hips. I heard the bottle of 
lubricant snap open and shut dimly and then his warm hands 
coaxed my legs apart and his thick cock slid inside me. 

"Oh," I gasped, my eyes popping open. There was no pain - not 
even the slightest twinge of discomfort. My body had simply 
given way, welcoming him inside as if it knew instinctively 
that this was where he belonged. 

He rested on his elbows above me, buried to the hilt, and I 
wrapped my legs around his torso, relieving the pressure on my 
hips.

"Are you okay," he asked softly. "Did I hurt you?"

I shook my head, unable to speak around the lump rising in my 
throat. I closed my eyes, struggling to sort out the 
overwhelming sensations. I could feel his breath on my face, 
smell the faint traces of his soap intermingled with sweat. I 
could feel his stomach press against mine gently, rhythmically 
with his deep breaths. But mostly I could feel the throb of 
the turgid length buried deep inside me. I wondered how it was 
possible for a small thing like the absence of a thin layer of 
latex to make the act feel so much more intimate. 

"Vaughn," he called gently. "Baby, are you all right?"

I opened my eyes, meeting his concerned gaze. "I'm fine," I 
reassured him, my voice no louder than a breath. 

I listened to the soft ticking of the nearby clock as his eyes 
searched mine, looking for signs of distress. I felt naked 
suddenly - my emotions laid bare - absolutely certain he could 
read my every thought. 

"Are you sure," he asked cautiously.

I slid my hands up over his chest and neck, tangling my 
fingers in his hair and drew his face closer to mine, covering 
his lips with my own and pouring as much passion as I could 
into a deep, demanding kiss. He swallowed my groan as he began 
rocking tentatively. Then his lips slid away from mine to 
press hot kisses along my throat and I gasped as he drew 
himself out and slowly filled me again. I dug my fingernails 
into his shoulders and moaned as tiny sparks of pleasure began 
shooting up my spine. He moved just a little faster in 
response, drawing almost all the way out of me before plunging 
back in. I held on tightly and moved with him, following his 
lead, feeling the coil of tension build again in my abdomen.

"You are so incredible," Mulder whispered, his lips just 
brushing my ear. I whimpered, arching into him, my eyes 
fluttering shut as the sensations became overwhelming. He 
groaned and thrust harder, deeper.

Everything seemed to spin away - the ticking of the clock 
growing distant, the smells of sweat and sex seeming to 
disappear. For a moment, everything went black. Then the coil 
snapped. I thrashed, my hands clawing at the rumpled 
bedsheets, an incoherent cry spilling from my lips as a 
brilliant white light exploded in my vision, searing heat 
spreading from the center of my body outward. I dimly heard 
Mulder groan in my ear and felt a splash of warmth deep inside 
me.

The next thing I was aware of was the feel of Mulder's gentle 
lips caressing the hollow of my throat. I whimpered softly in 
protest as he pulled his softened length out of me and moved 
to lick purposefully down my chest and stomach. It took a 
moment for me to realize that he was cleaning my semen from me 
and I felt the lump return to my throat. 

When he had finished he stretched out beside me, twining his 
fingers with mine and bringing my hand to his lips. The 
fingers of his other hand gently stroked my hair from my 
temple and he smiled down at me kindly. As I stared into his 
eyes for several long moments I felt the last of my defenses 
break and crumble away.

"I love you," I whispered.

Mulder's breath caught in his throat. His eyes searched my 
own, as if he couldn't quite believe what he had heard and was 
searching for confirmation. Then he swept me into a hug so 
tight it nearly crushed my ribs. "Oh, god, baby, I love you 
too."

I laughed, feeling tears of joy and a tiny bit of pain spring 
to my eyes, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, holding 
him just as tightly. "I love you," I repeated, my voice 
stronger in spite of the constriction.

He pulled back slightly and kissed me - hard - until I was 
breathless. "Thank you," he whispered against my lips and I 
could see the tears beginning to form in his own eyes, hear 
the thickness of emotion in his voice.

I nodded and kissed him back just as fiercely, our hands 
alternately clutching and stroking each other's hair, faces 
and bodies.

Later that night I laid awake, studying his sleeping face. He 
looked happier than I had ever seen him before. I realized 
that he and Sydney had been right - even if our relationship 
didn't last it didn't matter. Mulder was the best thing that 
had ever happened to me. And even if it did end, it wouldn't 
be because of my former profession.

I shifted position as much as I could given the tangled mess 
our limbs had become and felt a trickle of semen slip from me. 
Mulder snuffled and unconsciously shifted closer to me, his 
grip tightening around my waist. 

I smiled and brushed my lips against his forehead, careful not 
to wake him. "I love you," I whispered again.

I closed my eyes and smiled as the sound of his deep breaths, 
Donovan's snoring and the cold wind whistling through the 
trees outside lulled me into a peaceful sleep.

********
(Los Angeles - Two weeks later)

"Push!"

A low, animal-like cry escaped from Sydney's lips as she bore 
down, her hand squeezing mine so tightly I feared she might 
break it. The contraction passed and she slumped into the 
raised hospital bed, panting.

"You're almost there, sweetheart," Jack soothed from his post 
on the other side of the bed while I dabbed the sweat from her 
forehead with a washcloth. Jack brushed several damp strands 
of hair from her face.

Sydney squeezed his hand with a soft groan and glared at me. 
"When this is over, I'm going to cut your balls off," she 
muttered.

I smiled gently. "You don't mean that."

"Watch me," she growled. Then she whimpered and sat up as the 
next contraction barreled down on her.

"I see the head," the doctor announced after several more 
minutes of grunting and pushing. She poked her head out from 
behind the barrier blocking our view of Sydney's lower body. 
"Would you like to take a look, Dad?"

A warm, giddy feeling rushed through my body as I realized 
somewhat belatedly that she was talking to me. I looked to 
Sydney for approval and she nodded wearily, her head lolling 
on the bed, her chest heaving with deep breaths. I squeezed 
her hand supportively before letting go and stepping around to 
the end of the bed.

At first I only saw a lot of hair, overstretched skin and 
various fluids I didn't care to identify. Then Sydney pushed 
and I saw the surface of a tiny head moved an inch or so, 
slowly emerging from Sydney's body. I watched, transfixed as 
Sydney labored to deliver our daughter, amazed and humbled 
suddenly.

I looked back up at Sydney. Her gaze had grown distant as her 
base instincts took over, completely focused on the task at 
hand. Her father leaned over her, murmuring words of 
encouragement, clutching her hand tightly for support. 
Satisfied that she didn't need me at the moment I turned back 
to the miracle happening on my side of the sheet.

The head gradually emerged from Sydney's body and I winced in 
sympathy of the pain Sydney must be feeling. She had opted not 
to take anything to dull the pain after some careful weighing 
of the pros and cons including side effects and the tendency 
for drugs to lengthen the birth process. 

"Is that normal," I asked warily, eyeing the misshapen skull 
emerging from Sydney.

"Perfectly," the doctor replied before poking her head up to 
address Sydney. "Stop pushing for a moment."

Sydney sagged back against the bed, panting heavily. "Vaughn," 
she gasped, holding the hand not gripping her father's out to 
me. 

I quickly stepped back to her side and took it. "I'm here."

She squeezed my hand gratefully. Then her eyes widened and she 
gasped.

"Okay, push," the doctor called from the foot of the bed.

Sydney curled upward and pushed seemingly with everything she 
had left, an animal scream pouring from her. I tried not to 
whimper as she clenched my hand so tightly I could feel the 
bones rub against each other.

Minutes later, after a couple more rounds of pushing, Sydney 
slumped completely in the bed and the impossibly loud, sharp 
cry of a newborn filled the room.

Within minutes the squalling, writhing little body - wrapped 
in some sort of blanket - was placed on Sydney's chest and the 
doctor handed me a pair of sterilized scissors to cut the 
umbilical cord. Tears of joy and relief poured down Sydney's 
face as she exhaustedly soothed our daughter. Jack smiled down 
at his new granddaughter, the expression seeming almost 
unnatural on his face. I realized it was the first time I had 
seen him smile.

"She has your nose," Sydney murmured, tracing Isabelle's tiny 
face with a tentative finger.

I groaned. "Hopefully she'll grow into it." I reached over to 
run my fingers over Isabelle's head gently.

"Do you want to hold her," Sydney asked.

I glanced at the doctor hesitantly. She nodded. "Go ahead. 
Just make sure you support her neck."

Sydney slowly and carefully transferred the baby to my arms. I 
held her awkwardly, afraid I might do something wrong. She was 
so tiny and fragile looking... Isabelle whimpered in protest. 
One tiny fist came loose from her cocoon and she waved it 
aimlessly, making choking little noises that threatened to 
become full-blown cries. I cooed at her and freed my hand to 
catch her flailing fist. I gently uncurled the tiny hand and 
marveled at the small perfectly formed fingers. The hand 
wrapped around my index finger tightly, squeezing so hard I 
could feel the tiny nails digging into my flesh and I felt a 
part of me melt. I loved her already.

*******
(15 minutes later)

I stepped into the waiting area, Jack close behind me and was 
practically bowled over by Lauren.

"How is she?"

"Sydney's fine," I reassured her. "Really tired but fine."

Nadia sidled up to Lauren. "The baby?"

I felt a smile spread uncontrollably across my face. "Seven 
pounds five ounces."

They both beamed and gushed and hugged me tightly. "When can 
we see them," Lauren asked. 

Jack cut in to relay the information the doctor had given us; 
namely, that Sydney needed rest more than anything right now 
but she would let us know when Isabelle was transferred to the 
viewing room. While he was talking my eyes wandered the room, 
suddenly realizing that something was missing.

"Where's Mulder?"

"Right here," a voice replied from behind me, causing me to 
jump, startled. I turned to find Mulder smiling at me, holding 
a cardboard container filled with covered coffee cups, which 
he handed over to Nadia. "I thought we could use some decent 
coffee," he continued sheepishly as he drew me into his arms. 
"Congratulations, baby," he murmured.

I melted into his warm embrace, my own arms wrapping around 
his neck. "Thank you."

From the corner of my eye I saw Jack edge toward the door. I 
called his name, reluctantly pulling myself from Mulder and 
making my way over to him. 

"Are you leaving," I asked.

"Actually I was planning to ask if I could sit with Sydney," 
he said coolly. 

I glanced back to find Mulder and the girls seated several 
feet away - far enough that they likely couldn't hear our 
conversation. They were deep in conversation themselves but 
Mulder watched us curiously, trying to be surreptitious. 

I turned back to Jack. "I wanted to talk to you," I said in a 
low voice. 

He nodded briskly and walked out into the currently empty 
hallway. I trailed behind him. He stopped just outside the 
door and looked at me, waiting patiently. 

I cleared my throat nervously. "I uh...just wanted to make 
sure we're okay."

He stared blankly. "We?"

"Us, I..." I flustered. "I want to be a part of Isabelle's 
life and I know you do too. We'll probably be seeing a lot of 
each other." His eyes flickered but his expression didn't 
change. "I just don't want things to be awkward between us."

Jack was unnervingly silent for several long moments. I 
glanced at our surroundings warily, wondering how much I 
should say. Could I tell him how awkward it felt for me, 
knowing I had sucked off my daughter's gradpa numerous times 
in the front seat of his sedan - a service for which I was 
always generously compensated?

His posture suddenly relaxed slightly, his expression 
softening. "When I first learned that Sydney was working for 
Arvin Sloane I was devastated. I couldn't convince her to quit 
without compromising myself and risking her life. I tried to 
help her but she just pushed me away." He unexpectedly placed 
a hand on my shoulder, the gesture both warm and impersonal at 
the same time. "You and Ms. Reed provided me with a connection 
to my daughter - a way to provide for her without damaging her 
pride...or yours. I don't regret anything. Neither should 
you."

My eyes fell to the floor and I felt a slight blush creep into 
my cheeks. Jack shifted, his hand falling from my shoulder. 
"Although if in the future you choose to tell Isabelle about 
your former life I would appreciate if you wouldn't mention my 
part in it."

I let out an involuntary snort. "Believe me that's the last 
thing I would ever want to tell her."

He nodded and granted me the smallest flicker of a smile 
before brushing past me to search for a doctor.

I walked back to the waiting room to find Nadia and Lauren 
locked in an ecstatic embrace. Lauren grinned at me and gently 
pulled away from Nadia. 

"What's going on," I asked. 

Lauren stood, her hands smoothing the front of her sweater in 
barely contained excitement. "I'm moving back to Los Angeles," 
she announced.

I stared at her dumbly for a moment as the news slowly sunk 
in. Then I pulled her into a fierce hug, feeling a stupid grin 
spread across my face. "That's great!"

"Vaughn," she groaned. "My ribs..."

"Sorry," I muttered sheepishly, loosening my grip. She kissed 
my cheek lovingly and stepped back, a brilliant smile making 
her eyes glitter. "Do you need a place to stay," I asked, 
glancing over at Mulder uncertainly. Our apartment wasn't all 
that big but we had a second bedroom.

"Oh, no, I've got an apartment," she said with a flippant 
wave. "It's not much but I just couldn't stay away from you 
guys."

"If you ever need anything..." Mulder offered.

Lauren grinned and bent to wrap her arms around him right 
where he sat. "I'm so glad Vaughn met you."

Mulder smiled at me over her shoulder. "So am I."

She pulled back and reached for his hands. "I mean it," she 
said seriously. "I've never seen him so happy before. Thank 
you."

Mulder squeezed Lauren's hands and winked at me. "I'm lucky to 
have him." 

I felt a surge of warmth go through me, bringing with it all 
sorts of mushy feelings I didn't really want to delve into in 
the middle of the hospital waiting room. I sat next to him as 
Lauren returned to her seat next to Nadia and the two of them 
began making plans to get together next week. Mulder twisted 
sideways in his chair and cupped my face in his palms, drawing 
me in for a reaffirming kiss.

"I love you," I murmured against his lips.

He smiled. "I know."

I rolled my eyes and leaned against his shoulder. "I talked to 
Sydney...how would you feel about being Isabelle's godfather?"

Mulder froze, his arm halfway around my shoulders. "Are you 
sure?"

My eyes met his and I saw a wary delight shining in their 
hazel depths. "I want to be a part of her life. And I want 
*you* to be a part of her life. I want her to think of you as 
family - as her stepfather."

"What about Jack?"

"He's her grandfather. He's already family."

Mulder smiled. "I'd love too. But if and when Sydney gets 
married you are going to explain to Isabelle why she has three 
daddies."

I laughed. "Deal."

"Excuse me," a nurse called from the doorway. "Are any of you 
here for Sydney Bristow?"

"Yes," Lauren, Nadia and I responded in unison.

"You can see the baby now if you'd like."

Lauren was up before the nurse was finished speaking, Nadia 
shortly thereafter. 

Mulder reached over to squeeze my hand. "Come on. Let's go see 
my new stepdaughter," he said with a smile.

**********

"Are you sure you want to do this," Mulder asked again.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah. Just...stay close to 
me."

He squeezed my arm. "Of course."

My heart pounded as a loud buzzer sounded and the steel bars 
in front of us parted. The large, imposing prison guard led us 
down a long hallway - the white walls gleaming dully under the 
fluorescent lamps that provided the only real source of light. 

The guard stopped in front of a cell and tapped on the bars 
with his nightstick. "You have a visitor," he announced.

The figure on the bed looked up from his old hard-bound copy 
of "The Illiad" in surprise. 

The guard left and I stepped closer to the bars. "Hello 
Arvin."

Sloane dropped his book on the bed, forgotten, and moved to 
stand in front of me. I was struck by how old and 
unintimidating he looked in the standard prison uniform, 
surrounded by unforgiving walls. "Michael," he said softly. 
"They told me what happened. Are you all right?"

I shook my head. I had expected any number of comments, 
questions or accusations from Sloane. That he would show 
concern about my well-being had not occurred to me as a 
possibility, although I should have expected it. "The 
nightmares finally stopped," I said flatly.

Something that might have been sympathy flashed in his eyes, 
but he covered it quickly.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself for what I was about 
to do. "You were like a father to me. You protected me. You 
gave me a chance when no one else would."

An expression I couldn't identify flitted across his weathered 
face. 

"Since I found out the truth there's been one question that 
has been nagging at me...Why?"

"I'm afraid you will never understand the choices I've faced - 
the sacrifices I've had to make."

"And Danny? Was he one of those sacrifices?"

Sloane flinched. "Danny never fully understood what he was 
going up against. He had no idea how dangerous the Alliance 
could be. I tried to discourage him from getting involved - I 
even offered to buy his silence. But he wouldn't listen." He 
reached through the bars to touch my cheek and I heard Mulder 
inhale sharply behind me. I didn't flinch. "Ordering Danny's 
execution was one of the most difficult things I ever had to 
do. More than anything else I've done as a member of the 
Alliance that is the action I most regret - if for no other 
reason that knowing the pain it caused you."

I laughed bitterly, feeling tears prick at my eyes and 
blinking them back. "You fucked me, Arvin. While Danny was 
dying in that ally you were fucking me on the couch in your 
office."

A pained look came over Sloane's face and he drew his hand 
back, wrapping it around the bars that separated him from me, 
his eyes pleading with me. "It was the only way I knew I could 
keep you from him without arousing your suspicion. If you had 
followed Danny that night...if you had seen anything - if the 
Alliance suspected that Danny told you what he knew..." Sloane 
shook his head as if trying to shake away the passion creeping 
into his voice. "I knew you would be safe if I could keep you 
close. Sex was merely an pretense to keep you from asking 
questions that could have concerned the Alliance."

My mind reeled. "You were protecting me from the Alliance?"

His face melted into some semblance of fatherly pride and 
devotion. "I spent months trying to convince the other members 
that you were not a risk in spite of your relationship with 
Danny. Michael, despite what you may think of me I have always 
loved you."

"If you had loved me you wouldn't have put me at risk in the 
first place."

Sloane sighed. "How much do you remember of the events 
following your attack two years ago?"

"What does that have to do with this," I asked defensively.

"I held you while the doctor examined you and stitched your 
wounds. He had already given you something to calm you but you 
still fought. You cried and screamed and begged your attackers 
to stop hurting you. And then you looked me in the eye and you 
begged me to make the pain stop." He swallowed hard. "I saw 
what those animals did to you and it pained me to know that 
there was nothing I could have done to stop it."

"I don't remember any of this," I said skeptically.

His shoulders seemed to droop slightly in relief. "Consider it 
a blessing. I prayed you would pass out before you had to 
endure too much pain. But you were conscious through the 
entire procedure." He smiled sadly and reached through the 
bars again and rested his hand on my shoulder, squeezing 
lightly. "I checked on you every day. I took care of you when 
Sydney and Lauren couldn't."

A memory tumbled back to me suddenly of a familiar male voice 
reassuring me that I was safe and a strong, warm hand stroking 
my face. Had that been Sloane or was I transferring memories 
of Mulder caring for me after I had been tortured because deep 
down I wanted to believe that Sloane would have taken care of 
me?

"I vowed that I would make the men who had hurt you pay for 
what they had done," he continued.

I shook my head. "The authorities never looked into the case. 
Those men are still out there."

"No, they're not," he said with alarming surety. "I did some 
research...called in a few favors."

My eyes widened, my stomach twisting with dreadful 
realization. "You had them killed?"

Sloane's expression didn't confirm or deny the accusation. "I 
did what the authorities couldn't. I made sure those animals 
would never hurt you or anyone else again."

I backed away from him, wrenching my shoulder from his grasp 
violently, staring at him in horrified disbelief. I jumped 
when Mulder appeared at my side suddenly, grabbing hold of my 
elbow.

"This was a bad idea," Mulder growled. "We should go."

"I'm sure, Agent Mulder, that you would have done the same had 
you been in my position," Sloane continued, his voice flat and 
matter of fact. 

Mulder's teeth ground together audibly as he held back a 
retort. He pulled me in the direction of the exit.

"No," I protested, pulling my arm from his grasp. "Not yet." I 
walked back to the bars and hesitantly covered one of the 
hands Sloane had wrapped around the bars with my own.

"I hardly recognized you when we pulled you out of that phone 
booth - you had been beaten so badly," Sloane murmured. "There 
is no justice for men like them. Not in this world."

I nodded slightly and took a deep, stabilizing breath, forcing 
the tears back from my eyes. "But there is for men like you," 
I said softly. "I won't play your mind games anymore, Arvin. I 
won't come back here. Don't try to contact me. And if you even 
try to contact my daughter I will make sure you spend the rest 
of your life in solitary confinement. Do you understand?"

Sloane closed his eyes briefly and sighed, nodding 
reluctantly.

I reached through the bars to put my hand on his cheek, 
feeling his rough whiskers scratch my fingertips. "I loved 
you...but I can never forgive you for what you've done."

He took my hand in a gentle grip and turned to press a kiss to 
my palm, squeezing briefly before nodding and letting me go.

"Goodbye, Arvin."

I turned to leave, brushing off Mulder's hands as he tried to 
touch me and walking briskly two steps ahead of him. He 
followed, remaining silent until we were inside his car. Then 
he turned sideways in the driver's seat and silently pulled me 
into his arms. I let him, feeling the emotions I had held back 
well up in me.

"The worst part is that I believe him," I choked out. "Killing 
those men was his own twisted way of showing that he loves 
me."

"I know," Mulder said, rubbing my back gently. "And as 
disturbing as it is, he's right...about us not being all that 
different. From the second I saw him all I wanted to do was 
reach through those bars and break his neck for everything he 
did...to you, to those girls..."

I held him tighter, burying my face in his shoulder. 

"And while I don't approve of his methods I'm not sorry those 
men are dead. Although I would have preferred to watch them 
rot in prison for the rest of their lives." He kissed the 
exposed skin of my neck and squeezed me tightly.

I pulled back and wiped at the tears that had escaped my eyes. 
"Is that what you plan to do to Sark and Noah?"

He went silent for several moments. "Vaughn...Noah died a week 
ago."

I stared at him in shock. "What?"

Mulder reached over to clutch my hand. "I didn't want to tell 
you until I was sure. I talked to Jack Bristow this morning. 
He couldn't give me the details but he confirmed that a man 
named Noah Hicks matching the description you gave us was 
killed in the course of a CIA operation."

I closed my eyes, reeling. I vaguely wondered if Jack had 
pulled the trigger himself. "And Sark?"

Mulder squeezed my hand. "We're still looking for him. We'll 
find him."

I blew out a breath and sank back into my seat. "He doesn't 
scare me," I said. "Without the Alliance he was just a horny 
kid with kinky preferences. He was easy to control."

He seemed to hesitate for a moment. "I thought you told me the 
John was always the one in control."

"Sometimes," I said honestly. "Even if they weren't, I always 
let them believe they were."

"Is that what you did with me?"

I looked at him, seeing the uncertainty in his eyes. I knew it 
pained him to remember the lies we had told each other back 
when we first met - some of them out of necessity and some out 
of habit. I realized I couldn't lie to him anymore.

"No. I could never control you. I tried, but you wouldn't let 
me."

He smiled and reached over to brush back an errant lock of 
hair. "I just couldn't let you believe I was like all of your 
other Johns - even if that might have made the Alliance less 
suspicious," he whispered.

I blinked away a couple of tears. "Yeah, well, you succeeded. 
No John ever made me feel the way you did."

His smile grew wider and he leaned over to capture my lips in 
a tender kiss. "I love you," he murmured.

I nodded and squeezed his hand, blinking furiously to combat 
the emotions that had been rising in me since we had left 
Sloane's cell. "I love you."

He pressed another kiss to my hand and let go, turning to face 
the wheel and starting the car. "Let's go home."

I nodded, brushing away a single stray tear. "Yeah."


THE END