In general, I think recaps are more fun to read after one has 
already seen the program being recapped. The jokes are funnier 
and the descriptions, references and abbreviated stuff make 
more sense. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the way 
recaps work and/or are wary of spoilers, here’s a spoiler 
ratings guide:

Review = No spoilers.

0 = Go ahead and read the recap. This movie is either so dull 
that you probably shouldn’t bother seeing it at all or the 
plot is so predictable that it could very well have been 
written by trained monkeys. Either way, spoilers aren’t going 
to make much of a difference.

1 = This movie is a remake, based on a book, or based on a 
true story. Therefore, any major plot developments are a 
foregone conclusion, leaving little to nothing for me to 
actually spoil for you. If you already know the story the 
movie is based on, then nothing in the recap should surprise 
you so go ahead and read it. If you don’t, then the number in 
parenthesis is your alternative rating.

2 = It depends on your definition of “spoiler”. There’s no 
real big surprises in the plot but if you’re the kind of 
person who can’t even read synopses or movie reviews or watch 
previews because they spoil the movie for you then you might 
want to watch the movie first.

3 = You might want to watch the movie first...but maybe not. I 
would really only recommend the movie to die hard (fill in 
name of actor/director here) fans. If you really really really 
want to see it and you want to avoid spoilers, then you might 
want to see the movie before you read the recap. Otherwise, 
read away.

4 = You probably want to see the movie before you read this 
recap if you don’t want to be spoiled. Unless that sort of 
thing doesn’t bother you. 

5 = DO NOT read this recap unless you have already seen the 
movie or somebody else has already spoiled it for you. This 
movie has a major plot twist or some other element to it that 
is so surprising that you just *have* to see it for yourself 
first. Trust me. You can read the recap and laugh at my crazy 
antics after you’ve seen it.

? = The Curve. I have no idea how to rate this one. I didn’t 
see the plot twist coming but that might just be because I 
wasn’t paying attention to the right cues. How about this...if 
you are a big murder mystery fan and can always tell who did 
it just by identifying character types (i.e. the one most 
helpful to the authorities is the killer) then consider this a 
2 or 3. Otherwise, I’d probably consider it a 4. It’s not 
quite shocking enough (or the movie’s not quite good enough, 
take your pick) for me to give it a 5.

K = Kitchen Confidential episode. If you haven't seen it, you
probably never will because FOX certainly isn't going to air 
it again. Go ahead and read the recap.