"Loki" Episodes 3 & 4
Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Owen Wilson, Sophia Di Martino, Gugu
Mbatha-Raw, Wunmi Mosaku, Sasha Lane, Neil Ellice, Susan Gallagher, Cailey
Episode 3: Lamentis
The usual Marvel fanfare is bizarrely replaced by a hip hop song this
episode. This turns out to be playing in a restaurant somewhere. C-20 in her
pre-TVA state is reading the menu. Across the table, Lady Loki suggests they
maybe eat somewhere else. C-20 asks why she hates this place so much. Lady
Loki is like 'no, it's fine. I'm sure a lot of restaurants get repeatedly
shut down by the health department.' C-20 takes a sip of her drink and
winces at the brain freeze. Lady Loki rambles about brain freeze being a
literal freezing of the synapses and offers to test that theory by asking a
question that C-20 won't be able to answer until her synapses have unfrozen.
"How many people are guarding the Time Keepers?" C-20 is like 'the what
now?' She blinks and the entire restaurant surroundings change. Lady Loki
gets her attention and asks how long they've been friends. C-20 agrees it's
been a long time. Lady Loki says she can tell her anything, so "why won't
you tell me how many people are guarding the time keepers?" C-20 starts to
answer, then gets distracted looking around the restaurant. She realizes she
remembers this place, but doesn't know who this woman is, actually. Lady
Loki says she's just tired.
Somewhere, C-20 is in some sort of dreamlike state with Lady Loki touching
her temple, mumbling that yeah, she must just be tired. Lady Loki asks how
she finds the elevators. C-20 mumbles that they are "gold" and Lady Loki
lets her go before looking at the monitors and seeing Mobius and Loki et al
arriving outside because it turns out they're at Roxxcart.
And now we're back to just after she walked through the portal. It turns out
it went to the TVA. She emerges just after a bunch of minutemen depart to
respond to the emergency she created and swaggers off. She tries to use that
green energy thing on the first minuteman she encounters, but since powers
don't work at the TVA she has to knock him out the hard way instead. She
takes out three more, using a prune stick on two agents.
Back at the door, Loki comes running through and hesitates before running
after his female counterpart, looking at the locker B-15 put those knives
she wouldn't let him have in. And then he's creeping down the hallway with
the knives in hand. He finds her at a door just after she dispatches a
couple more agents and does the little knife flip trick Tom did just for
shits and giggles in Ragnarok that made it into the trailer despite not
being in the actual movie. "A few questions," he says. Starting with is she
really a Loki? She walks past him for...some reason...and then declares he's
in her way. They lunge at each other a couple times. He suggests that maybe,
possibly, they could work together. She kicks him in the chest and he drops
both knives. He adds that that is obviously a bad idea as she lacks
"vision". She rolls her eyes and turns to walk away. He grabs her by the
back of her cloak and she lunges for him. He twists her arm behind her and
says she can come willingly or not, but this is how he plans to get to the
time keepers. She flips him and they roll back upright just as Renslayer
comes around the corner, flanked by two minutemen and wielding a prune
stick. Lady Loki holds her dagger to Loki's throat and threatens to kill him
if they come any closer. Renslayer is like '........and you think that's an
effective threat because?' Loki grabs the temp pad off her belt and opens a
portal beneath them before Renslayer can reach them.
Lady Loki scrambles to recover the temp pad that has been dropped. Loki
grapples with her a bit and she smashes his face into the nearest surface.
She tries to use the pad, but it has a little logo of Miss Minutes
cheerfully announcing that the battery is too low. She takes a swing at
Loki, but he teleports himself behind her and throws her into a wall.
Because hey, powers are working again. He picks up the pad and she snaps at
him to give it back because he doesn't even know how to charge it. He's like
'oh, because you're the only Loki who can use tech?' She snaps at him not to
call her Loki. She tries to take the pad, but he makes it disappear into a
pocket dimension or something. She sneers that he's just a magician then. He
offers to make her disappear and pulls out the knives again. A meteor
crashes through the ceiling of whatever room they're in and he asks if
that's one of her powers then. She asks where he sent them with the temp
We get an outside shot of a desolate landscape with meteors crashing all
around that the chyron identifies as Lamentis 1 in 2077. We pan up to see
what looks like a moon of some sort cracking apart and WAY too close. They
scramble out of some sort of tent structure and she yells that he is a MORON
because that planet is about to crash into this moon in the WORST apocalypse
she's seen. They dodge falling rocks as he snarks that he didn't have time
to "consult the brochure" before opening the portal.
They hide under a large earth mover type vehicle and he notes that she
stopped trying to kill him. She's like 'yeah, you still have the thing that
might get me out of here, so.' They run to a little building that still has
lights on it. While he's gasping for breath, she reaches to touch the back
of his neck with both hands. There's a pause while she stares at him
expectantly. He asks what she's doing. Trying to enchant him or something?
Emilio: Not if it isn't working, no.
He thinks that won't work because his mind is too strong.
Emilio: [snort] Doubtful.
Diandra: Oh, yeah. This is going to be fun.
She pulls out the dagger again and he pulls out his daggers and asks if they
really want to do this again. He suggests they call a truce since they
aren't getting off this moon until they can get the temp pad working.
Chrissy: We can stab each other
later all you want.
He thinks he might be able to get somewhere if he doesn't have to worry
about her trying to stab him "every thirty seconds". She says he needs her
to recharge it and he knows it or he would have left her to the meteors out
there. He's like 'fine. Let's just "slaughter each other" then.'
Diandra: [cough cough] Yeah. Thank you, Freud.
Emilio: Is that a euphemism?
Chrissy: If it was, I would have said we should stab each other.
She says the plan he so casually interrupted back there took YEARS of
planning and she intends to go back to the TVA and finish it as soon as they
get that pad working. Then she'll kill him. He snorts not if he kills her
Emilio: I have a clear advantage and
my knife is bigger.
She heads toward the door to find some sort of power source.
Chrissy: It's not the size that counts, remember? It's how you use
Emilio: Maybe a rift.
Outside, he's running after her again, asking what the plan is, exactly. She
says there's a town nearby and also shut up because his voice is really
annoying. He calls her "Variant" this time and she snots at him not to call
her that either. He mutters that he's certainly not "calling some faded
photocopy of me Loki." She says that's fine because her name is SYLVIE now.
He doesn't think that sounds very "Loki-like". She asks what makes a Loki a
Loki exactly. Because yes, even though the world is literally falling apart
around them they WILL continue these philosophical discussions.
"Independence. Authority. Style," he suggests. She thinks it's funny he
decided to work for the "oppressive time police" then. He says he's not.
He notes that her years-long plan involved just tearing down the TVA,
creating a power vacuum, "and then just walk away", which frankly sounds
stupid and like something he would never do. She reminds him that she ISN'T
They reach the town where everything is abandoned and partly destroyed and
the signs are in some alien language. The set design on this show is really
something. Loki notes that everyone fled. Sylvie shrugs that it won't save
them because NOBODY survives this apocalypse. Loki asks how much time they
have. She says twelve hours, but it's going to get increasingly bad during
that time. Not just the physical destruction, but the total collapse of
society as everyone realizes they're going to die. She runs up to a neon
light to "check the coupling" and holds out her hand for the temp pad. He
laughs and says she has to try harder than that because he isn't an idiot.
She's like 'yeah, the temp pad requires a lot more power than that, but YOU
DIDN'T KNOW THAT, DID YOU?'
They go to another small building in the middle of nowhere and he drops this
chestnut: "brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile." She says
yeah, sure and kicks the door open. A blast of energy hits her in the chest
and knocks her back. From his safe distance, Loki smart asses that it's
amazing she made it this far. He calls to the woman inside the door that
they mean no harm. He peaks in the window and sees a photo of the woman with
a man and transforms himself to look like the man before stepping into the
doorway. She hesitates until he starts sniffling that she's as beautiful as
he remembered. Then she blasts him too. He lands next to Sylvie, which she
thinks is hilarious. The lady calls that in case he was wondering what the
giveaway was, that guy never said anything that sweet in 30 years. Sylvie
asks if that was diplomacy or guile then and he tells her to shut it.
The lady comes out with whatever energy canon she's been blasting still
aimed in their direction and asks what they want with her. Sylvie says they
just want to know where everyone went. She says the Ark. Because that's what
we name all spacecraft fleeing the destruction of a planet, apparently.
Sylvie thinks THAT would have the power they need to run the temp pad. Loki
asks how they get to it. The lady gives directions but says it's useless
because they won't get a ticket.
A long line of people are waiting for a train, corralled by armed guards. A
lady exposits to one that they've been waiting for hours. Loki and Sylvie
arrive and he grumbles that there's no way they're going to be able to fight
their way on the train. She asks who said anything about fighting their way
Chrissy: I don't know. Captain
America, I think.
Chrissy: Oh, come on. Somebody had to make the reference to
No, he just assumed because all her plans involve fighting. She says this
one involves enchanting a guard and getting him to lead them right in. She
acknowledges that the guard could fight them on that, which he points out
could lead to having to shoot a LOT of people and hijack a train. He says he
has a better idea and magics himself into a guard uniform. She says no,
that's a shit plan. He's like 'whatever, you're just jealous' and shoves her
toward the front of the line.
The parallel to "Snowpiercer" is here when they march past the guards right
toward the train while a lady in the line screams about how only the wealthy
are getting on. Sylvie ends up having to enchant a guard anyway because they
don't have tickets and he starts protesting letting them through before
suddenly "remembering" that there was a request radioed in this morning and
Emilio: What is the point of having
enchantment powers if you're just going to try to lie your way through in
a ridiculous voice like an idiot?
Diandra: He's not as smart as he thinks he is. Probably why his
plans tend to fail.
Chrissy: Oh [blows a raspberry]
They go into some sort of fancy dining car on the train and Sylvie sits in a
booth. Loki flusters and says he can't sit in a seat facing backward on a
train. She says well, she doesn't sit with her back to the door, so suck it
up. He's confused by this because there are doors in both directions. And
there are no windows to see out so who cares what direction you're going? He
sits and she says that was still a shitty plan. It wasn't even a plan
because those have multiple thought-out steps. She yawns and he suggests she
get some rest. She glares and suggests he go first. Point taken. She admits
that she needs him to get to the temp pad because "someone taught you fairly
decent magic." He says that would have been his mother. Sylvie pauses for a
moment and asks what she was like. Loki thinks about it for a while and says
she was the Queen of Asgard and a genuinely good person. "Are you sure she
was your mother," Sylvie snorts. Loki says no, actually, he was adopted. She
says yeah, she was too. And apparently she was told long ago and didn't have
it dropped on her very recently, which makes him splutter a little. He asks
what her mother was like. She doesn't remember much, so we go right back to
him and a story about how Frigga would entertain him with little tricks when
he was little. She told him one day he would be able to do them too.
"Because I could do anything." He makes a little firework display in his
palm and sniffs that she was the sort of person you wanted to believe in
He asks who taught her that enchantment trick. She says she taught herself.
He asks how it works: is she projecting an illusion directly in people's
Chrissy: Wasn't he able to do it at
She says it would be easier if she showed him and he says yeah, enchant him
and steal the pad and jump off the train. Sure. He's not THAT stupid.
Diandra: He was able to read Valkyrie's memories in "Ragnarok" and
I think I noted at the time that it was something that came out of nowhere
because it was needed for plot convenience.
Emilio: Why would I jump off the
train that's going where I need to go to get the pad working?
Diandra: Shh. You're thinking too much.
A waitress brings a couple glasses of champagne over and Loki takes both of
them since Sylvie refuses. He clinks them together, toasts "the end of the
world" and sucks down a whole one in one swallow. Then he decides to reflect
on the fact that that woman back there chose to die instead of at least
trying to get on the ark. Sylvie thinks she was in love. He reminds her she
talked like she hated that guy "Maybe love is hate," Sylvie suggests.
Chrissy: And the opposite is
Loki conjures a pad of paper and a ridiculously large quill so he can write
that down and she's like 'oh, fuck your snarky ass.' He sends them back
wherever they came from and asks if she has a boyfriend waiting for her when
this is all over. She says yeah, actually because she "managed to maintain
quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman." But she only
kept it up to "keep me going". She asks if he has a "would be princess" or
maybe another prince somewhere. He's like 'yeah, you're probably bi too,
Diandra: Yeah, actually, there IS a reason that is the saying.
It's really easy for love to turn to hate, but if you're indifferent you
can't really care enough to go either way.
Chrissy: Ever try both at the same
time? Or more than one of each?
Diandra: Settle down.
Chrissy: What was that term you used to describe Loki several
recaps ago? Something about a bicycle.
Diandra: The fandom communal bicycle.
Chrissy: Yeah, aka the Jack Harkness.
Emilio: So will screw or be screwed by anyone?
Diandra: Sort of, but there may be a difference in nuance. The
fandom communal bicycle mostly applies to fanfiction and headcanons, I
think. Everyone has had a ride because the character ships with EVERYBODY.
Whereas Jack Harkness being a slut is just cannon.
[ETA: this last conversation/recap was done before episode four of "What
Anyway. He says he's never had anything serious. She suggests love is
mischief instead of hate and he says he probably needs another drink if
they're going to continue this discussion. While he's sucking down the
second glass, she notes that they are about to hijack the power source that
is the last hope of this entire civilization. She suggests they should get
We get a few establishing shots of the train going through apocalyptic
landscape with what looks like a chunk of a mountain crashing into the
ground in the distance.
Emilio: Huh. No tunnels anywhere.
Diandra: We're not there yet.
Back on the train, Sylvie is asleep on the table and Loki is singing in what
the subtitles identify as "Asgardian". Sylvie wakes up and blinks at him
engaging the whole bar in this folk tune wearing his TVA jacket and suit
again. He finishes the song, drinks whatever is currently in his hand and
smashes it on the floor yelling "another" in a call back to the first
"Thor". Which I read somewhere the director noting in an anecdote that went
something like "Tom is a walking encyclopedia of all things Loki at this
point, so when he said he wanted to do something that would be in character
I trusted that he knew what he was talking about."
Sylvie marches over to him and snaps that he is drunk. And because Asgardian
is just...Norwegian, he makes a language joke that he's just "full".
Very....very..."full". Because apparently this is a polite way of saying
drunk in Norwegian or something. He tries to hand her some sort of hors
d'ouevre and she asks why he changed out of the uniform because they're
SUPPOSED to be undercover here. He doesn't think anyone gives a shit anymore
because they're fully in the 'nothing matters, the world is ending' part of
the timeline. She says yeah, well, she saw a guy looking at him kind of
weirdly while he was singing.
Chrissy: Did you get his number? Was
he good looking?
In what possibly started as a blooper that they just powered through, Loki
drops the plate with a loud crash and stares at it for a second like 'huh'
before asking when she became so paranoid. She says when she "spent my
entire life running from the omniscient fascists you work for." He is
distracted by the thing he just dropped on the floor, which he mutters is a
shame to waste before changing the subject back to that conversation they
were having earlier. He's decided that love is a dagger. "It's a weapon to
be wielded far away or up close. You can see yourself in it. It's beautiful.
Until it makes you bleed." He pulls a dagger out of thin air to wave around
in demonstration and finishes pointing the handle toward her. "But
ultimately, when you reach for it..." she reaches for the handle and he
makes it disappear. "It isn't real," she concludes. So to summarize: "love
is an imaginary dagger." He frowns as he realizes that it doesn't actually
make any sense.
Chrissy: Yeah, generally anything
you come up with while "full" up to your eyeballs is nonsense.
Diandra: Learn that one the hard way?
The guy who was eyeing Loki earlier comes back into the car with a couple
guards in tow, pointing him out to them. The same guard they managed to get
past earlier asks to see his tickets and he tries to conjure some, but just
ends up creating a firework display on his palm again because I guess this
is what it looks like when a magic user gets drunk.
Chrissy: Okay, now I want a fic with
Stephen and Loki performing magic drunk.
The guard starts manhandling him while he babbles that he can EXPLAIN. And
then another guard puts a hand on his chest and that apparently sends him
over the edge and he starts fighting them both off. On the other side of the
room, Sylvie starts fighting a couple more guards, taking off her horns to
use as a weapon. Which explains the broken side.
Emilio: Even better: Wong.
Diandra: No, Wong would need to be sober so he could keep them
from, like, breaking the universe and why am I letting you two run away
with plot bunnies again?
Emilio: Hasn't Doctor Strange broken the universe, like, twice in
the past year?
Diandra: Both times after Wong told him not to do something stupid
and then just...walked away. You're kind of proving my point there.
One of Sylvie's guards gets her in a chokehold and Loki produces a dagger
again and tries to throw it at the guard. Which is an excellent trick to
attempt while DRUNK.
Chrissy: Oh, whatever. I know what
It embeds in the wall, like, two feet on the OTHER side of her head and she
glares at him like 'DON'T TRY TO HELP ME ANYMORE.' One of his guards gets up
again and he kicks him right out the window of the train. He laughs and
waves right up until a couple more guards pick him up and throw him out
right after. Sylvie is like 'oh, well. I didn't like him very much
anywa....fuck, he still has the temp pad.' She grabs a cutlass and jumps
over the guards and out the window.
He apparently ditches the Variant jacket immediately and joins her as she's
picking herself up. "Well, that's not ideal," he says, pointing at the train
disappearing in the distance. She waves the cutlass at him and demands the
temp pad now. He pulls his hand from the general direction of a pocket and
the pad appears on his palm. It sparks and emits a puff of smoke. "Well, I
did take quite a tumble," he says. She snarls that he just got them killed.
He thinks maybe they can fix it, but the second he tries to manipulate it in
any way it falls apart and all the pieces tumble to the ground. She rants at
him for being a joke of a being who fucked up the mission by getting drunk.
He snorts that she really thought any "mission" was going to beat "them"
anyway. She stomps away from him, screaming and sending a blast of green
energy in all directions. She sits on a rock ledge and pouts. He slowly
creeps close like 'okay, did you get that out of your system then?' He asks
what they should do now. She's out of ideas since the temp pad is broken and
the rock they're on is doomed. He says the whole moon is being destroyed,
right? And she said everyone dies, including them now, which...what happened
to the ark that train is headed for? She says it's destroyed before it gets
off the ground. He notes that the ark never had them on it. She immediately
follows his logic and asks if his plan is to hijack the ark and make SURE it
launches then. He shrugs like '........yes?' She stares at him for a moment,
then says "okay" and starts walking along the train tracks. He stumbles
after her belatedly like 'I didn't think it would be that easy. You must be
As they are walking, he whines about the amount of walking he's had to do
today. Then he notes that he's told her a lot about himself, but she hasn't
returned the favor. She smirks and thanks him for that "tactical advantage".
He asks if she intends to use that advantage to kill him once the TVA shows
Emilio: Well, I don't need you
anymore, so it's really a miracle I haven't killed you already.
She smirks and asks if he's worried. He just doesn't know if he can trust
Emilio: She's a Loki.
Diandra: Yeah, didn't we already have this conversation with
She circles back to his questions about how her enchantment power works to
give him something. She needs to touch the person she's enchanting and then
she can take over their mind. For most, it's easy, but some are a little
more resistant. She can take control, but they are still in there right
beside her, so she has to "create a fantasy from their memories" in order to
keep the connection from breaking. She says the soldier from the TVA - C20 -
was "messed up" and everything in her mind was clouded so she had to pull a
hundreds years old memory before she worked for the TVA. Loki stops walking,
frowning, and asks her to repeat that last part. "Before she joined the
TVA?" Sylvie says uh...yeah...back when she was a normal Earthling. Loki
says but according to the TVA, everyone who works for them was created by
the time-keepers and had no previous existence. She snorts and says no,
they're all Variants.
Chrissy: I think there was discussion
about this in the fandom at one point, but...obviously Mobius is a made up
name. Who is he a variant of? Just some random guy on Earth, or...
Diandra: Ralph Boner. No, sorry. I saw a theory somewhere that he's
a variant of Thor, but I'm not sure that makes sense.
Emilio: She just said hundreds of years but that scene earlier
looked like the present. Assuming they don't age in the TVA because time
works differently and knowing how they work...he could be from any time.
Diandra: Right, but given that speech he made earlier, he's
probably from Earth in the later decades of the 20th century.
Chrissy: So not Thor. And probably not anybody else we already know
either. Unless he's the Iron Man variant everyone thinks Tom Cruise should
Diandra: Probably not, but I would welcome that plot twist if only
because it would make the fanboys insisting it MUST BE Tom Cruise mad.
They are close enough to the city and the waiting ark that they can hear the
announcement of ten minutes to launch now. They walk faster and arrive at
this neon lit town square sort of area as the final boarding call is
announced. Sylvie asks if they can trust each other. Loki thinks so. She
says "good. Because this is going to suck." A voice announces that they've
reached capacity and everyone else has to return to their homes now. Loki
notes the number of people who are being condemned to death and are just
realizing this. Sylvie grabs his hand and leads him around the crowd into a
shot that Sophia noted only "looks like" a continuous take through a set
that looked ridiculous and fake in daylight. People are running around,
rioting and breaking things and setting fires. Overhead, the planet starts
really breaking apart and sending meteors crashing into the city. Loki and
Sylvie run and are thrown backward by an impact. Everything goes dark for a
second and Loki scrambles back upright, dragging Sylvie into the nearest
building, which is a bar. A couple people dressed like the guards from the
train station descend on them and they fight them off and run back out onto
One of the side streets is blocked by an entire building collapsing. They
wind through a couple more streets, dodging falling chunks of everything.
Loki stops to magic one of the towers back upright before it falls on their
heads. As they wind closer to the ark, more guards try to intercept and they
fight through them. And then everybody looks up as the ark explodes and
crumbles. Some of the natives collapse in despair and the rest just stare in
shock. Sylvie walks away dejectedly, leaving Loki staring at the burning
remains of everyone's last hope like '...........fuck' and a sad country
song plays us into the credits.
Chrissy: And that was probably
when the ratings for this show started to go up because that rivaled
almost anything else in the MCU up to that point.
Diandra: Yeah. The reason I mentioned that part about it looking
ridiculous and fake in daylight is because you can't tell by the finished
product. It is bigger and more spectacular looking than anything that was
never meant for a theater screen has any business being. I'm sure there
are still guys who hated it because it's Loki and it appeals too much to
women, but hopefully by this point it was obvious those were the minority
voices and they don't deserve coddling.
Chrissy: That rant make you feel better?
Diandra: A bit. It probably won't be the last.
Chrissy: I'm sure.
Episode 4: The Nexus Event
The previouslies are mostly about the revelation that the TVA employees are
all Variants who had their minds wiped of any prior existence. The music
accompanying the apocalyptic stuff that we ended on sounds almost Irish.
But before we continue with that story, we go back to Asgard. Not the one we
know, however. Little Sylvie is playing with some action figures, narrating
a story about Valkyrie defeating a dragon and saving Asgard when a TVA door
appears behind her. Renslayer - apparently back when she was just an agent
and not a judge - identifies Sylvie as the variant and they take her into
custody for "crimes against the Sacred Timeline."
Chrissy: Yeah, that's not messed up
We skim through her going through all the steps our Loki did in the first
episode, but before the judge can actually talk to her, she stomps on
Ravonna's foot and twists out of her grip. Ravonna realizes too late that
Sylvie lifted her temp pad and Sylvie escapes through a doorway before
anyone can stop her.
In the present, Ravonna takes a deep breath and steps off the elevator into
a smoke filled room. The smoke clears just enough to see three enormous
figures on some sort of podium seats at the other end. And we go to the
And we're back with Mobius as Ravonna returns from that little meeting,
apparently. He asks if she's okay. She rants that of course she isn't
because it's always "jarring" to speak to the Time Keepers. He says they
can't possibly blame her for what happened. She says yes, they do. The
Variant was right under their noses and could have gotten to the Time
Keepers, but ended up just escaping with the other Variant Mobius has a
crush on or something which is ALMOST AS BAD. She spews some bullshit about
how hard it is to keep the timeline stable and the Time Keepers being the
only thing standing between them and chaos.
Chrissy: Well, then you should have
expected interference from the God of Chaos.
Diandra: That is literally the
premise of the show. What if there was this organization that existed to
create order and we threw Loki into it?
Mobius says yeah, he wants to help, but he needs to talk to C-20 if they're
going to find the variants. Find out what she meant by "it's real" and if
she knows anything else. Ravonna hisses that C-20 is dead. Mobius asks when
the hell that happened. Ravonna says the variant scrambled her mind and by
the time she got back to the TVA she "could barely speak" and declined
rapidly. But they haven't told anyone about it yet because they don't want a
panic. Mobius promises not to tell anyone. Ravonna hisses that he better
find those Variants because having them just run around out there somewhere
Chrissy: Meh, right now they're more
a danger to each other.
Lamentis. The city is on fire and chunks of rock are raining down constantly
and the entire sky is taken up by the descending planet. Loki finds Sylvie
sitting on a rock just staring into space. He sighs and joins her. "I'm
sorry," he says.
Emilio: Yeah, you should be.
She starts talking about her distant memories of life on Asgard and takes a
sudden philosophical turn. "The universe wants to break free, so it
manifests chaos." Her very existence is one of those instances of chaos and
as soon as it was chaotic ENOUGH to disrupt the TVAs precious Sacred
Timeline, they arrested her. Which didn't take all that long since as we saw
she was maybe ten. She escaped with a temp pad and had to keep running
because everywhere she went she created new Nexus events that alerted the
TVA. "Because I'm not supposed to exist." Eventually, she figured out she
could hide at the end of the world and grew up hopping from one apocalypse
to another. So it's kind of fitting that she would die in one.
Chrissy: Is the tendency for plans to turn to shit common for all
Loki variants, or...
Emilio: Just the dumber ones.
Chrissy: And if you were already
having an existential crisis with the first episode...
Diandra: Yeah, I want to say she wasn't supposed to exist in ANY
OTHER UNIVERSE but her own, but that's the one she was removed from so she
can't go back there either.
Chrissy: I suppose all the variants have that same problem, which
is why the only way they can be dealt with is either to "dispose" of them
or brainwash them and recruit them to the TVA.
Back at the TVA, they have magnified the sensor so it can detect "if
somebody steps on the wrong leaf" and they still can't find the Loki
variants. B-15 arrives and Mobius asks if she found anything at Roxxcart.
Because I guess she went back. But they're long gone from there. And they're
probably plotting a massacre, she thinks. She asks how C-20 is doing. Mobius
is like 'uh...no idea.'
Lamentis. Enormous asteroids are starting to rain down. Sylvie says it won't
be much longer now. Then she asks if maybe "what makes a Loki a Loki is the
fact that we're destined to lose?"
Chrissy: Certainly seems that way.
Loki says no, they may LOSE, but they don't DIE. He uses the example of her
nearly taking down the all powerful organization that allegedly controls
time despite being only a child when they took her. He says she's amazing.
She reaches for his arm.
At the TVA, a branch suddenly starts forming, identified as coming from
Lamentis 1 and rising very quickly toward the red line.
A giant firey mountain smashes whatever is left of the city and a wave of
destruction starts moving toward them. Loki takes Sylvie's hand and they
stare at each other, waiting for death. And then a couple time doors appear
They are separated at the TVA, manhandled down different hallways, which
obviously disturbs both of them. Mobius stays with Loki and they bicker
about which of them betrayed the other on the way back to the time theater.
Mobius says he was wrong about Loki being the God of Mischief. He's just "an
asshole and a bad friend." He says "it" is ready and another door appears
that the agents holding him ready to throw him through. He struggles harder
against them and Mobius says they can just let him do whatever he's trying
to do there. "One last desperate trick from the desperate trickster." Loki
says the TVA is lying to Mobius. Mobius just chuckles and the agents throw
him through the door.
He ends up somewhere in Asgard, which makes him laugh because what the fuck?
And then Sif appears, holding a chunk of her hair that has obviously been
butchered off her head. She calls him a pathetic, conniving worm and slaps
him. "I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be," she
Loki calls in the direction of where the door used to be that this is cute
shoving him in what is obviously a bad memory prison. She looks in the
direction he's talking like '......eh?', knees him in the groin, punches him
in the face and stomps off. He says yeah, if they had done their homework
they would know that after that, he went and had a bath and a glass of wine
and forgot all about the whole incident because it was hardly the worst
thing he ever did. And then Sif reappears and repeats the entire speech
punctuated by all three blows all over again. "Time loops," he groans like
'oh, that's why.'
Sif comes around again and he tries to derail her by finishing the sentence
about always being alone before she can. He says she is just a
reconstruction of a past event created by an organization that controls
time. "So you need to trust me and you need to help me escape." She crosses
her arms and seems to consider this for a moment. Then she nods and grabs
his shoulders and just as he thinks she's come around she knees him in the
groin, punches him and spits "pathetic".
Chrissy: Hope you weren't planning on
having kids eventually, because after a few rounds of that...
Diandra: Considering his best prospect at that is now an effective
clone that's probably for the best.
Chrissy: Oh. Right.
Diandra: Anyway. What I'd like to know is, does the fact that this
story from Norse mythology exists in this world imply other well known
mythology stories might possibly exist?
Chrissy: You're just trying to make the horse thing canon again,
Diandra: I mean...
Ravonna is looking like she's nursing a headache while going through
paperwork when Mobius enters her office. She asks why he isn't interrogating
his Loki variant. Mobius says they're playing a little bad cop with the Time
Cell first. He thought maybe while they're killing time on that he could
interview Sylvie instead. Ravonna says nope, he's sticking to his own lane.
He thinks he could figure out what that Nexus spike was faster if he could
"work 'em both together."
Chrissy: That costs extra.
Ravonna says Sylvie is "too dangerous" for him. Mobius is pretty sure that
if there is a mastermind behind this whole thing, it isn't his Loki. Ravonna
just smiles sweetly and says he should be easy to break then. "Work your
Loki," she concludes. Mobius thinks that should be his mantra.
Diandra: How did I know you'd say that?
[Chrissy and Emilio both clear their
Mobius finds B-15 and a few other minutemen outside the time theater they
put Sylvie in. One of them is nursing a facial wound. B-15 asks why Mobius
isn't interrogating his "pet". Mobius exposits that they've dealt with Kree,
Titans and vampires, but the "two orphan demigods" are really the worst.
Chrissy: And that's why you're so
fascinated, isn't it? The challenge?
B-15 asks if Loki said anything "while you were in there". Mobius snorts
that he said the TVA is lying to them. B-15 doesn't laugh, but doesn't say
Diandra: Can we talk about the fact that they just casually
referenced vampires? Like yeah, there's probably a Blade variant running
around here somewhere.
Emilio: Have to prepare people for his introduction somehow.
Back in the time prison, Loki is sitting on the ground already when Sif
enters on whatever iteration this is. He begs her to please stop. "I'm a
horrible person. I get it." He drags himself to his knees and babbles that
he cut off her hair because he thought it would be funny, but he was wrong.
He psychoanalyzes that he does shit like this to get attention because he is
Emilio: I mean...you are literally
falling in love with yourself, so duh.
He says it's probably because he's scared to be alone. She looks
uncomfortable as he has basically nullified her rant. She holds out a hand
to help him up. He accepts warily. Then she growls the part about him always
being alone anyway, but this time she just flings his hand aside instead of
hitting him and stomps off. Mobius comes through her entrance door this time
and asks if he's ready to talk now.
They reenter the time theater and Loki pulls out his chair and sits with
very aggressive motions. Mobius wants Loki to elaborate on his "the TVA is
lying to you" statement. Unless, of course, that was "just a cockroach's
survival mechanism kicking in." Loki is like 'I will gladly talk about
whatever you want if you will quit the enhanced interrogation and let me out
of here.' Mobius takes that as validation of the cockroach thing and asks
how long he has been working for the Variant. Loki thinks the idea that he
has been working for Sylvie is hilariously absurd. Mobius says okay, what
are they then? Partners? Loki says no, not that either. She's "difficult and
irritating" and kept trying to take his head off. Mobius is like yeah, you
probably only take on partners if you intend to betray them eventually.
Chrissy: Ah, there it is. So why
didn't you "soften me up" yourself then, Daddy? Afraid you would enjoy it
Diandra: I see we're back to the Daddy thing. Sigh.
Loki snaps at him to wake up to the "real world". "Down there, we're awful
to get what we want." Mobius thinks it's hilarious that a crown prince is
lecturing him on the "real world" and asks what they did on Lamentis to
cause a Nexus event. Loki is back to insisting he won't tell them anything
because they'll just prune him the minute he's finished. Mobius sighs and
says they are done here then. He's going to miss these little talks. He
takes out his pad again and tells Loki to give his regards to Sif. The
threat has the desired effect of making him talk, but also...of course...he
lies. He claims it was HIM all along, manipulating her ever since she
visited him on Asgard long ago. They came up with the plan together. Mobius
is like 'great...what's the plan?' Loki non-answers that they are already
doing it and she is his "pawn" and he will get rid of her after "something
big" happens. Mobius says they already pruned her, so he won't have to
bother. He tries to move on, but Loki's face falls and he asks if they
really did that. Mobius says yeah, but she took out two of their agents
first. B-15 took care of her if he wants to know who to thank. Turns out he
really is the "superior Loki". Tom's face runs a somewhat more subdued gamut
than in that first episode. Shock, a couple tears that don't quite fully
form, and then hardening into feigned bluster as he says "good riddance."
Mobius notices the weird smile that doesn't reach his eyes and laughs. "You
like her. Does she like you?"
Chrissy: What, are we in junior high?
Should I circle a "yes" or "no" somewhere? Also, that's a really dick
Loki asks if they really did prune her then. Mobius just snorts that they
don't know what caused the Nexus event because they were too busy making
heart eyes at each other. And what kind of narcissistic sicko forms a
romantic relationship with a variant of himself anyway, he asks, really on a
roll. Loki calmly says her name was Sylvie. Mobius jots that down in his
file. "Is she alive," Loki barks at him. Mobius says yes and moves on to
asking if their big plan involved infiltrating the TVA and overthrowing the
timekeepers. Loki says if what Sylvie told him is true, it affects everyone
at the TVA. Mobius grumbles that he's told "50 lies in the last 10 minutes"
and he's about to start another one.
Chrissy: As opposed to what you were
just doing there?
Diandra: Proving your point about means to an end?
They bicker a little and Loki objects to Sylvie being labeled his
"girlfriend" or "your female self that you have some demented crush on."
Loki finally yells that everyone at the TVA is a variant. Kidnapped from the
timeline by the Timekeepers and told they were "created" to protect it. And
here's where the fact that he was very recently told about the Frost Giant
thing is significant for the character. Having been through a VERY SIMILAR
scenario, like, a week ago gives him a level of understanding, if not full
empathy. He says Sylvie can access their scrubbed memories through
enchantment. Mobius is just staring at Loki like he's trying to figure out
if he's lying or not as Loki insists he used to have a LIFE before the TVA.
Maybe a family.
Emilio: Certainly a jet ski.
He shakes himself and laughs it off as another load of bullshit from the god
of lies. Then he sighs that he'll have to close the case because they don't
need him anymore. A couple minutemen come in and manhandle Loki back to the
time prison as he sneers that Mobius is lying to himself.
In a hallway, B-15 seems to be mid-crisis. She stares at a poster insisting
they must "get them all" and "verify through deletion". She activates her
prune stick and stomps into the time theater where they put Sylvie. Except
when she's in the room, she turns off the stick and pulls out her pad,
opening a door. She says "come with me" and walks through the door.
Emilio: ...if you want to live.
Diandra: Can always trust you to bring the pop culture references.
Emilio: Of course.
Emilio: Speaking of which, isn't
there a fan theory that that name actually comes from her being the slayer
of Kylo Ren?
She and Mobius both sign off on a file and she declares the case closed and
they drink a toast to "putting all of this behind us."
Diandra: I would not be even a little surprised.
Chrissy: You think.
Now that they don't have anything better to be doing, apparently, she
decides to ask what he would do if he could go anywhere, anytime.
Mobius seems to think about it, but then redirects to asking why Ravonna
wouldn't let him interrogate Sylvie. Ravonna shifts shiftily and says they
couldn't risk her escaping. Y'know, like the other one did during his first
interrogation. She presses him to answer her original question: where would
he go if he could go anywhere? He says he likes where he is right now,
working with her.
Well, I always had a thing
for F. Scot Fitzgerald. But the last time I visited that timeline there
variant of me already there
And this one immortal guy who looked like Doctor
Stop trying to make me write that crossover. We don't know
is even going to be a thing anymore.
Chrissy: Nobody likes a kissass,
So since we're not doing the chit chat successfully, Ravonna says the
Timekeepers want to personally oversee the Variant's pruning. And they want
Mobius present. Mobius is like 'really? I get to meet the big bosses? Cool.
Let's talk about C-20.' It really is that abrupt. He says it's just that she
seemed fine when he last saw her and then... Ravonna says she "very quickly
wasn't fine" after that. Uh-huh. Not at all shifty. She asks where he's
going with these questions. He says something seems "off". She sighs and
says the truth is she's trying to protect him. Because that variant scares
her and she doesn't want to see him end up like C-20, who she claims "lost
her mind" and "couldn't even form words by the end." She quickly adds that
she doesn't want to see ANYONE end up that way, in case he starts getting
any ideas that he's special or something. She says what they are doing
MATTERS and waxes a little poetic on their friendship lasting to the end of
time. They've both seen "all of existence" and they know "friendship like
ours is uncommon. And worth fighting for. Same as the Sacred Timeline." He
praises that little speech and gloats "I KNEW I was your favorite analyst."
He asks what she's going to do with her new trophy: Sophie's cutlass. As
she's putting it on her shelves, he switches their temp pads. Then he starts
making noise about leaving, which she scoffs at because this is probably the
biggest case of his career here and he's leaving after only one...or
Emilio: Baby, it's cold outside.
He says he's tired from dealing with Lokis all day.
Diandra: Oh, ew, we're going with that? Okay, fine.
Diandra: Also, I'm pretty sure you
spiked this. What is it? Truth serum? Or just common date rape fare?
They do the "For all time. Always." call and response and he leaves the
Chrissy: Well. That became awkward very fast.
Emilio: I mean...that song really is gross.
B-15 takes Sylvie back to Roxxcart. Sylvie thinks she's trying to make it a
"fair fight" and squares her shoulders. But B-15 wants to talk about what
she saw when Sylvie was messing with her head. Sylvie says oh, that was just
your life before the TVA. B-15 cites the "I was created by the Time Keepers"
thing as evidence that that must have been some sort of deception. Sylvie
says she can't just create memories out of nothing. That's not how her power
works. She only uncovers what was buried when the Time Keepers scrubbed
their memories. They're all variants. B-15 holds out her hand and asks
Sylvie to show her. Sylvie takes her hand and green flashes on her temple.
She watches with closed eyes for a minute, smiling and crying, until Sylvie
lets go. She sobs that she looked...happy and asks what they should do now.
At the TVA, Mobius goes into the library stacks for privacy so he can check
Ravonna's pad. He pulls up the file on C-20, which says she is deceased. It
also has three dates: one in 1537, one in 1979 and one in 2050. One of those
first two is probably a birthday and the last is death date, but that kind
of brings up more questions than it answers. He opens a debriefing file from
Roxxcart, where C-20 insists that what she saw was REAL. A memory of
something NOT TVA. She had friends "down there". A life. The interrogator
tells her to calm down and she snaps that she is a VARIANT and so is the
interrogator. Ravonna interrupts suddenly to announce that she's ending the
interview. Mobius zooms in on her face, distraught.
Meanwhile, in the time prison...Loki is on the ground again. He recites
Sif's line before she can say it for the hundredth or so time, but instead
of Sif coming through the doorway, a door into the TVA appears and Mobius
comes through. He asks if Loki cares about the variant. Loki says "care"
isn't really the word when it comes to Sylvie. Mobius asks if he really
thinks he deserves to be alone.
Chrissy: Is this the part where you
kiss me, or...
Mobius says whatever that Nexus event was that they caused probably DOES, in
fact, prove that they can bring down the TVA. Is he sure Sylvie didn't plant
those memories in C-20? Loki says he believes her. Mobius is like 'great.
All I have is the word of two variants of the God of Lies.' "How about the
word of a friend," Loki says.
Diandra: In fanfic, probably.
Emilio: Aye, I could do that.
Mobius says it turns out Loki was right about the TVA and if he wants to
save Sylvie they're going to have to trust each other. "You could be
whoever, whatever you wanna be. Even someone good." Loki blinks at him and
he adds "I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different."
Diandra: Are you seriously comparing them to Legolas and
Gim....never mind. I just realized that actually totally works. Ignore me.
Chrissy: I'm just impressed that you actually got that reference.
Chrissy: I love you too, man.
They go through the door back into the TVA and immediately run into
Renslayer surrounded by some minutemen. She is holding his temp pad and
flatly says he has something that belongs to her. He tries to bullshit that
he JUST realized he picked up the wrong pad and one of the minutemen
snatches it from him and hands it to her. He asks what's going on,
like...why are they staring at him like that? She just stares accusingly and
he drops the act instantly and starts rambling an answer to her question
earlier about where he would go. "Wherever it is I'm really from." Because
he's pretty sure he had a jet ski and he'd love to give it a spin right
about now. Ravonna orders him pruned and he screams and fizzles away as the
minuteman hits him with the stick. Loki gasps and looks traumatized and then
like he probably really is going to burn the place to the ground and make
sure Ravonna has a front row seat before she dies as he's escorted away by
Ravonna goes to the room Sylvie is back in. Only her hair is wet now. She
asks who else was in the room. One of the other guards tells her and she
puts out an "alert" for B-15 since the variant has obviously compromised
Sylvie is escorted to the same place they were taking Loki. She asks if he's
okay, since...obviously he isn't. Ravonna dismisses the guards and gets on
an arriving elevator, both of them just following her docilely. After a
minute of silence inside the elevator, Sylvie asks if Ravonna remembers her.
Ravonna says yep. "What was my Nexus event?" Ravonna doesn't see how it
matters. Sylvie just wants to know what was so important that they took her
from her life and family. Ravonna kind of smirks as she says she doesn't
They arrive at the smoke filled room with the Time Keepers and Ravonna
presents them with "the variants". This time we see them up close and yeah,
they look kind of like reptilian Time Lords. The one with the beard asks in
an echoey booming voice if they have anything to say for themselves before
they are executed. Loki says oh, is that why we're here? Well, go ahead,
because I'm starting to think I can't actually be killed.
Chrissy: The fans won't let the
writers follow through on it.
The one with the ridiculous eyebrows hisses that he's no threat to them.
Diandra: Yeah, well. That's what happens when you seem to kill him
in the first movie only to make him the main antagonist in the next. Don't
act surprised when nobody believes he actually dies in the next one. I
mean, that and the fact that one of his powers in the comics is a healing
ability that basically makes him invincible. So it's not like this was
ever completely outside the realm of possibility and it's just fangirls
keeping him from dying.
Sylvie starts to step toward them and Ravonna uses the time loop collar to
snap her back. She says they're bluffing: they're actually scared of them.
The normal one in the middle calls her a "cosmic disappointment" and orders
them deleted. Sylvie starts moving again and Ravonna uses the time looper,
but it seems to glitch. B-15 comes through the door and pushes a button on
her controls to release both Loki and Sylvie's collars. She recites the TVA
slogan and tosses Sylvie's cutlass to her. And a fight breaks out. Ravonna
yells at the minutemen to protect the Timekeepers. Loki and Sylvie fight
back to back and Loki has no weapon at all and is just punching the guards
holding prune sticks. He asks Sylvie for "a little help here" and she tosses
the cutlass to him. Then she relieves one of her opponents of a prune stick,
which I don't think we noted before has a pointy sword-like opposite end.
She faces Ravonna, who picks up a stick from one of the downed guards and
vows to finish the job this time.
We go back and forth between Loki fighting two guards and Sylvie fighting
Ravonna for a bit, until the two variants are the only ones standing.
Chrissy: Notice that you only
knocked your opponent out, while I finished mine off?
Emilio: That's what happens when you're fighting redshirts instead
of a major character.
Chrissy: Why is the Star Wars person using Star Trek terminology
Diandra: Because redshirts are universal.
The head Timekeeper tells Sylvie she is a "child of the Time Keepers" and
offers to "talk". She tosses the cutlass Loki just handed back to her at his
head, which falls off with some sparks and rolls down to land beside them.
The other timekeepers laugh maniacally for a while and then all of them
slump like anamatronics whose power cord has been pulled. Sylvie picks up
the head and they blink at the still sparking wires as she notes that
they're nothing but "mindless androids". Loki asks who really created the
TVA then, if this wasn't the man behind the curtain. Neither of them knows
where to go from there, so they just kind of lapse into a frustrated
silence. And then Loki starts rambling about how they WILL figure this out
and he has to tell her something, because back on Lamentis... Before he can
maybe get around to whatever point he's clumsily trying to make, Ravonna
wakes up and hits him from behind with a prune stick. Sylvie snarls and
relieves Ravonna of the stick, pointing the melt end at her. Ravonna invites
her to do it. But Sylvie just growls that Ravonna is going to tell her
Chrissy: I assume we noted the "Loki
can't die" thing to reassure everyone that we didn't just kill the title
character before the series was done.
Diandra: I mean...obviously they didn't. I think when I first saw
it I thought 'well, that's one way to reassure viewers that pruning is not
equivalent with death'. Because a few minutes back, they took out Mobius,
which...I mean...might not have been enough to convince anyone of that,
but now that they used it on Loki too you KNOW something else must be
The credits are to a country-ish song (written by Edith Piaf, apparently)
about a woman telling her lover they will meet on the other side "if you
really love me" or something along those lines. It's interrupted by the
first mid credit scene. Loki gasps awake on the ground somewhere and asks no
one in particular if he's in Hel. A voice off camera says he's not dead YET,
"but you will be unless you come with us." He blinks up at the three guys
hovering over him. Richard E Grant is dressed like the ridiculous comics
version of Loki with bright green and yellow and a long cape. A kid is
wearing something closer to what Loki and Sylvie have worn with the horn
logo on his chest. He is holding an alligator that has Loki horns on its
head. And then there's a big black guy wearing a fur pelt and holding a gold
version of Mjolnir. They are all standing in front of what can only be
described as an apocalyptic wasteland of a city.
We smash back to credits, with the names of the three actors we just saw
listed under "special guest star" while we contemplate just how weird the
next episode is going to get.
Emilio: Looks like it's your turn to
play multiple versions of a character, Christine.
Diandra: Yeah, I know we said you should play Sylvie just to lessen
the load a little, but there's really no avoiding it now.
Chrissy: I thought we made him Sylvie so I would have to hit on
myself. Or whatever you were doing playing both versions of Doctor Strange
in that last episode of "What If".
Diandra: That's fun in small doses, but gets confusing fast if I
remember whichever "Sherlock" recap that was where we kept forgetting who
we were supposed to be and having loopy arguments with ourselves.
Emilio: I can play a couple of them too. Should make good practice
for doing all the Peter Parkers in "No Way Home".
Diandra: We are all going to go insane at some point in the next
few MCU installments, aren't we?
Emilio: Eh. Probably.