"Eye See You" Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Polly Walker, Robert Patrick, Christopher Fulford, Charles S. Dutton, Kris Kristofferson, Robert Patrick, Jeffrey Wright, Tom Berenger, Stephen Lang, Robert Prosky, Courtney B. Vance and did I mention Robert Patrick? It was bound to happen eventually. My reviews have been sounding more and more like recaps, it was only a matter of time before the transition was completed. That being said, from this point on, all my reviews (unless otherwise stated) will be written in Television Without Pity recap style. Here goes nothing... Okay, how long ago did "Seven" come out? Isn't that style of opening credits getting kind of old? Anyway, over the credits we hear the killer-of-the-movie's 911 call. He calls himself "Common Denominator", but I can't make out much of what he's saying because the voice scrambler makes him practically unintelligible. He babbles about "natural selection" and "predestination"...I think..."people interfering with an important task" and "streets red with blood" - okay, basically he's a nutjob. Got that? Good. Moving on. Now we see Sly Stallone standing in a jewelry store, looking at an engagement ring. He looks at the price and asks the jeweler if he's kidding. "Tell you what," he says. "Throw in a car and I'll take it." Heh. Then he buys it anyway and goes to a bar to drink beer with his cop buddies. One guy...we'll call him Baldy, asks if they're planning on catching Common Denominator anytime soon and bitches that the guy is taunting them. Sly (okay I have no idea when they're going to say his name, but I know it's Malloy) spews exposition dialogue. The killer seems to be killing cops at random - no pattern - and has managed to leave absolutely no evidence. Baldy reveals that Malloy is an FBI agent. Oh, and apparently Baldy has a reputation for being an asshole. Next. Malloy goes home to find the dinner table set for two...one side already used. He finds his girlfriend asleep on the couch with a piece of "police line do not cross" tape wrapped around her. Ew. He sits on the couch and asks her why she was late for dinner. He's lucky she has a good sense of humor. Blahdy blah "Lucky for you, I've been out there checking out the competition and pickings are pretty damn slim, so I was thinking...what the hell? Why not stay with me?" If this is your idea of a marriage proposal, pal, it sucks. He says he has a surprise for her, but he wants to wait until he has a "clear head". Yeah, right. He's obviously not familiar with the cliché that says waiting for the 'right time' to say shit like that basically guarantees that she will die before he ever gets the chance. Meanwhile, Baldy arrives home and bumbles around for a while, drunkenly, until the doorbell rings. He goes to look in the peephole and OH MY GOD! [Diandra curls up in her chair with her hands over her face, peeking out from between her fingers] Okay, I should tell y'all right now that I have a phobia about things touching my eyes. You ever see the episode of Friends where the doctor can't get Rachel to sit still for a glaucoma test? That's me. That being said, the killer just DRILLED RIGHT THROUGH THE PEEPHOLE AND INTO BALDY'S EYE! Whine. Whimper. Moan. Is it safe to look yet? The next morning, Malloy gets a page and heads over to the crime scene. Baldy is hog-tied and hanging from the ceiling. And in addition to the ruptured eye, he now has a huge pipe shoved down his throat. I think I'm gonna be sick... The Chief arrives and they establish that the shooter was within "whispering distance" of the victim, whatever that means. Then a phone rings. It's Common Denominator and he wants to talk to Malloy. "She's got a lovely place here...it almost looks safe. Until now." A doorbell rings and we get a dramatic swoop into Malloy's face as he realizes that the killer is going after his girlfriend. "Her name is Mary, right? I bet she has nice eyes..." NO! NOT THAT AGAIN! AUUUUGGGGGHHHH! Of course, Malloy hangs up and tries to call Mary to warn her, but he's too late. Common Denominator picks up the phone and explains everything. "Four years ago you were in charge of an investigation. A series of murders. 'Atrocities against prostitutes'. I call it removing diseased filth." Oh, don't get me started on that one. "You got very close to getting me...you made my life hell." Oh, whine about it, why don't you? "So now I'm returning the favor." Whatever. Here comes the most important part: "I won't live long. The odds are against that, so what time I have left I will dedicate to you. I'll always be close...I'll see you, but you won't see me." This is the part we already know, right? It's in the synopsis, so I'll just fast-forward through it. Mary dies. Malloy fails to catch Common Denominator on the first try and apparently gives up entirely. Three months later, the Chief tries to stop him from drinking himself to death by sending him to a rehab clinic run by a former cop. The clinic looks like it's in the middle of freaking SIBERIA, but according to the Chief, it's in Wyoming - apparently really high in the mountains. The former cop running it is played by Kris Kristofferson. He confiscates Malloy's gun and badge. He sticks a lable on the gun and puts it in a safe with all the others, then puts the badge in a file cabinet with Malloy's service record or something. "You're the last of our patients to arrive," he tells Malloy. Huh? Malloy is introduced to "Slater"...we'll just call him the Brit and a "narc", a vaguely Latino-looking guy who's name I can't understand no matter how many times it's said (actually, I looked it up...it's Jaworski, but who cares?) so we'll just call him Narc. He has some sort of scar on his cheek and talks *really* fast, so I can't understand him either. Then Malloy is handed over to the psychiatrist/nurse Jenny (who is also British) who introduces him to Jack - an orderly who "knows every inch of this nuthouse" and looks like a refugee bad-guy from a video game. We get a brief introduction to the repair guy, played by Tom "Peacemakers" Berenger, just so we know that there's something wrong with the generator because that will be important later. The Brit introduces us to the rest of the patients (or at least the important ones) at the facility in the group therapy room. We start with Robert Patrick...sigh...thank you. His name is Noah (although I'd swear half the time they're saying Knowle) and who Brit calls paranoid and, I think, a 'fag'. Oh, yippee. A woman in the back starts shouting and slamming her fists into a coffee machine. This is Lopez, LAPD. Then there's Reverend Jones, Homicide, played by Courtney B. Vance and the Narc, who got the scar on his cheek when he tried to blow his brains out and missed. And last, an old guy named McKenzie (whose name I thought was Kinzee because I'm obviously having problems with the names in this movie), a former Royal Canadian Mountie who's partner was shot. Therapy circle. One of the men we were not introduced to talks about recurring nightmares...blood, dead bodies and "twenty- one preschoolers blown to pieces". Yikes. Everybody else in the circle looks sympathetic except Noah, who is smirking. Somebody asks if he has anything to say, he says hell, this isn't the Boyscouts, right? "He's just weak like the rest of you mamsy-pamsy mother fuckers. You can't stand the smell of trash, what are you doin' workin' in the garbage buisness?" Okay, he has a point, but we're talking small children here... Kris tells him to sit down and shut up and points out that they're all at the clinic for the same reason. Oh, and I should probably mention that throughout this scene, somebody is fiddling with a lighter so that it makes a loud, rhythmic clicking sound. Think that'll be important later? Outside, a body surfaces in a frozen pond. What the? Who? What? Why? Huh? Meanwhile, the Chief is staying at a nearby cabin that apparently hasn't been used - or cleaned - since the Gold Rush. Then we get a random, mostly pointless scene with Malloy and Jenny that only serves to show us that a storm is blowing in and that Jenny will be Malloy's new girlfriend by the end of the movie by having him point out that "Mary had a scarf like that." Oy. There's a brief scene that only proves that the writers want us to think Jack is the killer by having him act suspicious and click away at that same lighter that we heard earlier. Apparently he stole it from McKenzie. And of course the first victim is the man with the recurring nightmares of dead children. Kris tries to call for...I don't know. The police? A mortician? It doesn't matter because the phone lines are down. How conveeeeenient. Tom says nobody will be able to come out anyway because they're not going to plow the roads until the storm breaks. Got that? They're stuck out in the middle of nowhere and the phones are dead. Dun-dun-DUN! So they put the body in the big walk-in kitchen freezer. That is so unsanitary... Malloy asks if the victim left a note. Yeah, like it was really suicide. Please. Noah starts taunting McKenzie for no particular reason other than he's an asshole. He says McKenzie is a coward who left his partner to die. McKenzie starts crying and Noah laughs. Malloy speaks up to tell Noah he's good at kicking people when they're already down. Noah sneers and says he does pretty well when they're standing too. Malloy gets up and stands in his face. "You never stood up to anybody." Oooo...fight! Noah says oh yeah, takes a long drag of his cigarette and says "at least I'm there for my women." Yeah, that was just *low*. Then another patient just *falls* over in a seizure brought on by mixing alcohol with his medication. I figure the only purpose this serves is to incapacitate him enough to insure that he can't possibly be the killer. Kris seems to think this was another attempted suicide because he asks everybody for their belts and shoelaces. Gee, do you think they'll know they're on suicide watch? The Chief tries to call the hospital from a gas station, but, of course, the lines are down. Duh. The attendant asks if he's a cop. Yeah. Thought so. "Been a few passing through here lately. One took a cabin for the night, bought out all my scotch and damn near tore it down. 'Nother looked like he shaved with a cheese grater." Okay, we know the second one is the Narc, but there must be some significance to the first one, right? The Chief buys equipment to go ice fishing. Malloy sits by a small fireplace...or wood burning stove, I'm not sure. He's staring at the ring he was going to give to Mary. Cue the violins, I think I'm starting to get a little misty-eyed over here. No, not really. Shut up. The Brit sneaks up on Malloy and startles him. Hmmm... They talk and Malloy whines about how much he misses Mary. "The thing you have to remember Malloy," the Brit says. "Is that sometimes the real bad things in life can make you stronger." At least that's what we always tell ourselves... Meanwhile, Tom is wandering through some dark, spooky hallways with a flashlight when Jack the Orderly sneaks up on him. "What's the matter cowboy," he asks. "Somebody steal your horse?" This is called unintentional foreshadowing. Heh. The next morning. Noah is doing push-ups in his cell... hmm... sorry, I kinda lost my train of thought there... Oh, yeah. Right. Tom is walking down the hallway shouting a wake-up call when he finds the next weakest link strangled to death in his cell. He runs to find Kris while the Brit, Noah, Lopez and Narc crowd into the victim's cell to see what the fuss is about. They think it's an odd coincidence that two people would commit suicide so suddenly. Really? They fetch Malloy, who concludes that the bruises on the victim's neck suggest suicide. Like that means anything. One of the other patients makes a crack about taking bets on who goes next. Noah and Tom drag the new body to the freezer and the Reverend says a little prayer over him. This, naturally, causes Noah to giggle and say, mockingly, "I'm tearing up over here." Oh, shut up Noah. Just stand there and look pretty. We check in briefly with the Chief, who is ice fishing. Guess what he finds sticking out of a hole in the ice? Yep, the dead body that we saw wash up earlier. Hmm... Kris informs the patients that he'll have to lock them up in their rooms while he goes through all their files "looking for answers". The Narc freaks out. He doesn't like the idea of solitary confinement. The Brit laughs and points out the irony of the situation: a bunch of cops locked up like "common criminals". Then Jenny announces that Jack is missing. Jack who? Oh...right...the "evil" orderly. Tom says they're missing one snowmobile, so Jack must have taken it. Oh, and the boiler is dead. So, a couple of guys (the Brit and...someone) go searching for Jack and almost immediately give up. Tom and Jenny lock all the patients in their rooms. Jenny pauses at Malloy's door and he correctly guesses that the two victims were not prone to suicide attempts before. He tells her to lock the door to her room tonight. She stupidly asks why. He tells her to just do it because she's just a helpless little woman and he can't protect her if he's locked in his room. Well, maybe he didn't say it in quite so many words... Meanwhile, somebody is crawling through the ventilation system...or whatever it is, wearing full snow gear, which in Hollywood basically consists of a parka. He goes to Kris' office and takes all the patients' files from the file cabinet, then finds the key to the medicine chest and takes all the little prescription bottles out of it. Kris, who has apparently never seen - or read - a murder mystery in his life, hears a noise coming from the office and goes to check it out. Say goodbye to Kris, everybody. The killer sees him coming and runs outside. Kris stupidly follows him, calling "Jack!" and the killer runs at him with an ax. Cut to Noah saying "we're dropping like fucking flies here!" The Brit tells him to shut up, he's losing it. Insults fly. The Narc reminds everybody that communications are down, their medications are gone, Kris and Jack have disappeared and two people are dead. Jenny says they're all in danger of experiencing digjaeoiabp. Yeah, I have no idea what she's saying. "Grand mal seizure," she clarifies. Very deadly. Nice. So basically, the one who doesn't drop dead of withdrawal is the killer, right? Tom decides now would be a good time to tell everybody that he checked Jack's service record. "The guy was a patient here." Oh, and he also "murdered his commanding officer over in South Korea...he's a psycho!" Way to keep them calm, bucko. Lopez freaks out and Malloy tells her to back off. Noah wonders out loud when, exactly, protecting women became Malloy's "specialty". Uh-oh... Malloy gets in his face again and says that no, his "specialty" is "doing my job while the one good thing in my life is home being butchered." Sheesh. "You talk about her again," he snarls "I'm gonna kill you." Yeah, that's a great idea, Malloy, start threatening the potential victims. That won't make you look suspicious at all. Noah shoots him a withering look and slinks off with his tail between his legs. Then the Narc sees something outside and announces that somebody found Kris...buried in snow...with an ax in his forehead. So Malloy opens the gun safe and hands all the weapons back to their owners. Oh yeah, that's a great idea, let them all kill each other. Brilliant. Meanwhile, the gas station attendant tells the Chief that the body found in the water is the "Scotch drinker" he referred to earlier. Told you that would be important. "He must not have made it up to de-tox after all," he muses. The Chief just looks pensive and mutters "What the hell is goin' on up there?" Tom discovers that the carburetors on all the snowmobiles have been trashed, so nobody can go anywhere unless they take the product-placed Chevy Suburban. Like a rock. Ahem. Malloy says okay, take Jenny and these two guys over here in the 20-horse- power-four-wheel-drive Suburban. Jenny says she's not leaving and she and Malloy argue for a bit. "Where do you think I'd be safer," she asks. "Riding through a white-out with some yahoo like [Tom], or sitting here in a room full of armed officers?" Honey, those armed officers are paranoid, short-tempered and suffering from medication withdrawal. Not to mention one of them is the killer. I think you'd be safer in a minefield, frankly. The other two leave with Tom. Malloy starts talking about pairing up and rotating two-man watches. Noah asks who died and made him "King Shit". Malloy reminds us that Noah used to be on a SWAT team and sneers "I thought you boys were team players." Noah fires back, "My team doesn't wait around to get hit by a shitstorm. We *are* the shitstorm!" Why am I not surprised? Narc sides with Noah and suggests they find Jack and "frosty his ass". Malloy asks him how he's so sure it's Jack. "How do you know it's not Lopez or Jones? How do we know it isn't [the Brit] Slater? How do I know it isn't you?" Okay, hang on a second. I should probably mention that despite all the 'it could be anyone' hoo-ha going on here that - judging by the brief glimpses of the killer that we got during the 'say goodbye to your girlfriend' phone call at the beginning of the movie - it is fairly obvious that the killer is a Caucasian male. He's also fairly young - probably late thirties, early forties. This means that five people are automatically ruled out: Jones (black), Narc (either "coffee 'n' cream" or Latino, I'm not sure), Jenny (woman), Lopez (Latino woman) and McKenzie (too old). It can't be Malloy because he's the hero and everybody else is either dead or incapacitated. So the remaining options are Jack, Noah, the Brit and Tom. And since everybody's so dead-set on blaming Jack, I'm guessing it can't be him. Too easy. Noah takes charge and says they'll split the building into sections and each "clear an area". Sometime later, the "yahoos" get their Suburban stuck in a snowbank. One of the guys whose name is not really important is helping Tom dig it out when they hear a noise. The third guy has disappeared. Tom says fuck him, we're getting out of here. As they're driving away the killer steps in the middle of the road, causing them to swerve. The Suburban careens down the side of a hill and crashes into a tree. Jenny and Malloy hear the horn blare ominously. Malloy hands her his gun and wanders off to investigate. The passenger of the Suburban wakes up to find Tom missing and stupidly gets out to look for him. In a blizzard. Yeah. He wanders around until he finds Jack hanging from a tree or something, long dead. I told you it wasn't him. So of course, the second the guy turns around, he gets his throat slashed by the actual killer. At this point, we get a brief shot of Noah back in the tunnels of the clinic, shining a flashlight around. This doesn't serve any purpose whatsoever to the plot unless you suspected that he was the killer in which case it gives him an alibi. I don't know about y'all, but I'm thinking the voice scrambler was being used to disguise a British accent. Lots of creeping down ominous hallways is done by all, but by now I have completely forgotten what the heck they're looking for. Malloy finds the Suburban. It's empty. Duh. Meanwhile, Jenny is moving sssslooooooowwwwwwwwly towards the kitchen freezer. Dundundundundundundundun...she puts her hand on the door handle and the Brit sneaks up and startles her. Jenny nearly jumps out of her skin and points the gun at him. He laughs and reminds her that she doesn't need to worry about defending herself against a bunch of corpses. She responds with "You're used to seeing bodies. I'm not." Um, excuse me? She's a freaking DOCTOR! Is this a character inconsistency? While everybody ponders exactly what the writers were thinking of when they came up with that line, there's a knock at the door. The Brit opens it and the Narc comes barreling in, followed by a gust of snow, demanding to know who locked him outside. Meanwhile, McKenzie is wandering around the basement and finds a room with some sort of old torture/interrogation chair...or dentist chair maybe. This is not a good sign. Then he hears the *click click click* of his lighter - which has apparently been taken from him again - and warily calls out "Jack?" He stupidly walks towards the source of the noise and is grabbed from behind and thrown in the evil-looking chair. Thankfully, the camera pans away so we don't have to see what happens, but we hear McKenzie scream and the zapping of some sort of electro-shock thingee that has enough power to make the lights start blinking crazily. The Reverend tells everybody gathered around the fire that the main circuits are gone now, so they have no heat, no power and pretty soon they won't have any lights either. Malloy bursts in, gun pointed, crazed look on his face and locks everybody except Jenny in a cell. He tells her that Jack is dead and Tom is missing, but I can't understand half of what he's saying because Sylvester Stallone's mouth seems to have gone numb, forcing him to mumble and slur every other word. Something about finding the missing snowmobile and all the personnel files being burned. "Makes it impossible to prove anyone is who they say they are. One of us isn't a cop." Oh, really? What was your first clue, Sherlock? He drags one of the bodies our of the freezer to look for "confirmation". He finds the letters "ICU" written...or burned, I don't know...on the inside of the corpses eyelids and growls "he's here." Then he walks out of the room and is immediately knocked flat on his ass, unconscious, by a crazed- looking Tom. The chief and station attendant find the last of the yahoos (the one who disappeared) standing in the middle of the road mumbling something unintelligible. The attendant asks what he's saying and the chief repeats "They're all dead." Back at the facility, Tom has locked Malloy in the Brit's cell on the mistaken assumption that he is the killer. The Narc seems to think the Reverend is more suspicious and the Reverend confirms his suspicions by pulling a knife on him. Lopez wonders if Malloy is right and one of them isn't a cop. Noah looks at the floor and fidgets nervously for no apparent reason other than to make us think it might be him. The Brit points out that the Narc was outside "looking for tracks" for a long time. The Narc insists he got locked out. "Did you," the Brit asks suspiciously and everybody stares at him. The Narc pulls a gun and yells "get out of my face!" Noah pulls his gun and yells "drop the gun". The two yell at each other, wild-eyed, guns pointed, until Jenny shouts "stop it". They stand down reluctantly and Tom very sarcastically mutters "I feel safer already." HA! Malloy has woken up and is trying to remove the vent grate in the Brit's room - using a handy matchbook he found nearby and set on fire. As he's doing so, he notices that the matchbook is from Donovan's, the bar he was at with his cop buddies at the beginning of the movie (7 pages ago). As he comes to a realization, we hear the whole "I see you but you don't see me" speech again...in the Brit's voice. See? Told you so. Noah announces that if any cop killer steps in his way he'll "cap his ass". Oh, give it a rest, Noah, we get it. You're a cocky son of a bitch. Who looks damn good in tight black T- shirts. And I've forgotten what I what I was talking about again. Blah blah, the Reverend thinks they'll all freeze to death before the killer gets to them. Noah asks Tom where the woodpile is. Tom says he's not going down there. Diandra flaps her arms and makes chicken noises. Noah says he's not going down there by himself, so the Brit offers to go with both of them. Oy. Say goodbye to Tom and Noah everybody. Sigh. I'm gonna miss Noah. What? Oh, shut up! So the doomed crew is wandering through the tunnels when they come to a T-section. Tom starts heading to the left while the Brit shines his flashlight to the right and asks "You hear that?" Gah! Noah tells the Brit and Tom to go to the right and "clear" that hallway while he goes to the left. Oh, yeah, real brave there, cowboy. 'You guys go see who it is! I'll just find some corner over here to sit in and cower pathetically.' I guess Tom is gonna get canned first. Malloy shows up in the little room with the fireplace and throws a sack he found hidden above the Brit's room at the Reverend. It has the badges of the murdered officers in it. Everybody scatters except Jenny, who Malloy tells to stay with the Narc. She demands to know why and he says "just trust me." She pouts. And, of course, we all know she's not going to do what he says and he'll have to save her ass, right? I thought so. Back in the tunnels, Noah is completely frantic and calling for Tom and the Brit. There is a loud *click* behind him and the Brit's voice sneers, "hey cop." Uh-oh. He tells Noah to drop his gun, put his hands behind his head and get on his knees. Noah instantly drops the macho act and begins crying. We check in briefly with Malloy as he finds Tom's dead body. By the time we get back, Noah is sobbing and whimpering. "Come on," the Brit taunts. "Wasn't it you who was gonna cap my ass, tough guy?" Well, I think he's proven by now that he's all talk and not much else. Then the Brit dangles a noose in front of Noah's face. Yeah, because *that* will get him to stop crying. Sure. This next scene is pointless, but it makes me laugh, so I'm gonna mention it anyway. Lopez and the Reverend are waiting with their guns drawn in some room somewhere. "You see somebody comin' up them stairs," the Reverend instructs. "You let faith...guide that bullet right through their head." Gee, thanks Reverend! And exactly many Hail Mary's will I have to say after that? Malloy is walking through the tunnels when he hears the Brit's voice. It sounds really static-y, like he's talking through a walkie-talkie or something. "I see you, Malloy, but you still don't see me," he taunts. "Fuck you," Malloy spats before wasting a few bullets by firing several rounds down an empty hallway. Screw de-tox, I think Malloy might benefit from a little anger management, don't you? Back in the fireplace room, Jenny whines "we've gotta do something!" The Narc grumbles "Why? Malloy's already dead." And, of course, she takes off running. Moron. The Brit tells Malloy that the dead guy the Chief found floating in the lake is the *real* Slater. Blah blah mumble mumble insane psycho-killer babble. "People will ask if I was insane...just the opposite. An insane man could not have accomplished this." That depends on your definition of 'insane', really. Malloy comes to some sort of glass wall with an unmoving shadow behind it. "...and so you finally see me," the Brit gloats. Right. Everybody raise your hand if you think that's not really the Brit on the other side of the glass. Yeah, I thought so. Okay, you can put your hands down now, you look stupid. Malloy jumps through the doorway dramatically and points his gun at...Noah. Hanging from the ceiling, dead as a doornail, with a walkie strapped to his chest. The Brit keeps taunting Malloy and says "now I imagine you're staring at poor Noah." Well, duh Einstein, you strapped the friggin' walkie to him! Sheesh. We see that the Brit is out in a freaking *blizzard* as Jenny shows up, wandering around, calling Malloy's name. Malloy hears her through the Brit's walkie before the Brit starts talking about déjà vu, second chances and is Malloy going to catch him or what? Then he chases Jenny into some sort of shed with a lot of mean looking weapons. You can see where this is headed, right? Meanwhile, the chief seems to be tracking Malloy by following his footprints in the snow. Oh you have got to be kidding me... In a blizzard?! All that blowing snow should have covered any footprints within about...oh...thirty seconds. "Jenny," the Brit taunts back in the shed. "I like your eyes." UGH! NOOOOOOO! "Did I mention I hear voices?" No, you didn't, but somehow I'm not surprised... The Brit just spots Jenny when Malloy bumbles past a window, which prompts him to dart outside for some reason. Jenny starts to come out of hiding when a hand clamps down on her mouth. It's Malloy. Of course. He says "stay here" and goes outside. Why does it seem like every time he talks to her he's giving her orders? That's starting to get on my nerves... What is the point of this circus anyway? They chase each other around the building for a while until the Brit finally comes up on...somebody. We know it's not Malloy, since the villain can't take the hero by surprise, right? Right. So of course it's the chief. Meanwhile, Malloy is running up behind him. The Brit turns and shoots at him before crashing into the shed through either some sort of door or the flimsiest wall ever built. All three guys start shooting at each other. The Brit manages to hit the chief and Malloy hits the Brit in the arm before running out of bullets. Sigh. Don't worry about it Malloy, just look for any potentially lethal object that the camera has lingered on for a significant length of time. What? Like we haven't already dipped into the big barrel of clichés? The Brit picks up a nasty looking ax and aims it at Jenny. Malloy dives through a wall of cans or something and tackles him. They fight. The Brit pulls out a knife and stabs Malloy in the arm. Ah, apparently we've found our weapon because the camera is lingering on some sort of industrial thrasher with rows of spikes sticking up. Oh shit, I can't look...whimper. Hold me? Malloy, whose arm wound is apparently completely painless, spins around, stabs the Brit with his own knife, punches him about two dozen times and slings him around until he is impaled on the spikes. Then he finally pulls the knife from his arm. What? Was that an error in continuity or were there actually two knives? It turns out the Brit just won't die easily. "She [Mary] called out your name," he gasps, blood pouring from his mouth. Then he laughs until Malloy picks him up, lifts him in the air and points his head at the spikes. "I see you," he snarls. "You see this?" [Diandra screams, dives under the table, puts her fingers in her ears and starts humming "Mary Had a Little Lamb"] Can I come out now? Is it safe? I think I'm gonna throw up... The chief stumbles into the shed and Malloy, cradling his arm and grunting in pain, asks him how the fishing was. The chief deadpans "Icy." Heh. As everybody is walking away from the shed, Malloy pauses to leave Mary's ring dangling from a nearby tree branch. What a waste of money. And we're finally done with the recap! So, that was relatively painless, right? Right? Is everybody still with me? Hello? ~Diandra