The Night Manager, Season 2 (episode 6)



Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Diego Calva, Camila Morrone, Hugh Laurie, Olivia Coleman, Indira Varma, Haley Squires, Samuel Gomez Lopez, Michael Nardone, Cristina Umana Rojas, Unax Ugalde, Alistair Petrie, Noah Jupe


Previously, Basil left a laptop for Olivia Coleman's body double before Mayra killed him. Jonathan and Roper had a rematch that kind of stalemated. Roxy decided that Jonathan wasn't going to help her get out of all of this, so she is helping Roper now, switching places with Teddy, who is fully in Jonathan's lap...er...camp now.
Chrissy: Seriously, what is it going to take to jumpstart your muse?!
Sally has the head of the Colombian supreme court helping her directly now and Jonathan is working on stopping an EMP from reaching the guy trying to take over the government where he and his men are camped in the jungle.

Villa. Teddy is taking a shower, which I think marks the only time someone has shown this much skin besides Tom, but the camera is so close that we saw more a few episodes ago through that gauzy shirt. He looks at the self harm scars on his forearm and has flashes of himself as a kid taking the crucifix off the wall and fingering the damage on Jesus' arm.
Chrissy: Okay, so you were right about the way he would probably respond to his impure thoughts about Jonathan. Can you actually write that fic now?

He goes to find Roper having breakfast with Juan and Frisky. Roper offers him a basket of rolls, but he says he's not hungry and asks where they're at on the plan. Roper says it's all on schedule and he can tell the Cabreras to expect the delivery tonight. "You leave in an hour. Take Juan with you." He'll follow later. Right now "I have a small matter that requires my attention." Teddy says okay, he'll go call Cabrera now and the minute he's in the next room he calls Jonathan.
Chrissy: Hey, what are you wearing? I was just thinking about you in the shower and touching myself.
Diandra: So it's going to be like this is it?
Emilio: Yes. And technically she's just describing your guilty conscience fic prompt.
Diandra: I know what she's doing. That doesn't mean I have to like it.
Jonathan asks how "we" are doing. Teddy says, in Spanish, that he's with Gilberto and tell Cabrera that it's all going according to plan. "The plane," Jonathan clarifies. Teddy says si, all of it. "Be careful," Jonathan breaths and Teddy is like 'yep! I'm on my way with Juan right now! See you at the usual place!'

Jonathan is staring at the pictures Teddy sent on his phone when Sally comes in the room to announce that Consuelo told her about an abandoned firing range called San Marco 25 miles away where they can land the plane.

Roper is seeing Teddy and Juan off when the burner Jonathan gave him rings. He checks his watch and answers "Rumplestiltskin. Prompt as ever."
Emilio: Oh, I have a crossover idea...
Diandra: No.
Emilio: He's even playing Sherlock right now...
Diandra: I know. No.
Jonathan asks if he has thought about his offer. Roper asks if Jonathan has thought about HIS. Jonathan says fine, nobody is taking anybody's deal then, "but I'll be seeing you. Soon, I hope." Roper smirks that he looks forward to it because "I miss that smile."
Chrissy: You sure you don't want to join the dark side and give Teddy a chance to practice his tree climbing skills?
Diandra: Okay, is the ENTIRE recap going to be like this?
Emilio: Probably.
Chrissy: Or you can finish filling that "paperwork" of his.
Diandra: Sigh.
Emilio: Okay, but can we talk about the fact that Jonathan did actually sort of smile at that?
Diandra: Yeah, we've gone through the trouble of bringing up his attraction to danger again for a reason. They have a sort of toxic dependence on each other.

Apparently immediately after the last scene, Jonathan pulls a recording stick out of his phone and hands it to Sally, who plugs it into her laptop and replays the last part of that conversation. He orders her to "reopen the connection with London, tell Basil we're diverting the plane, then pick up Consuelo."
Emilio: Uh, yeah, that's gonna hit a snag right away.
She squeezes his hand and he leaves with the assurance that he'll call when he gets to Teddy's.
Chrissy: Or...like...as soon as I'm able depending on how happy he is to see me.

In the car, Jonathan asks how long it will take to get where they need to be. Martin pointedly says twice as long as it would if they were in a "normal country". Jonathan's phone buzzes. It's Roxanna. She babbles that "they" found the safehouse and she managed to get out and she's on a bus now...
Chrissy: You assume he didn't just forget about you at this point.
She sobs that she needs his help. He asks where Tavo is. She says he ran away so she doesn't know and she'll call him back. She hangs up and he tells Martin they need to make a detour.
Chrissy: Ah, I see. Because they know that what he really can't resist is rescuing a damsel in distress.
Diandra: Yeah, hence the subversion of her NOT being that this time.

They pull into a parking lot somewhere and Jonathan calls her back and instruct her to go into the parking lot once she gets off that bus.

Elsewhere, Teddy asks Juan what that secret conversation he was having with "Gilberto" was about. Juan says they were just tying up loose ends. Teddy says it's about Matthew, right? "That fucking guy. I should have killed him when I had a chance. Piece of shit."
Emilio: Overcompensating much?
Chrissy: Trying to seduce me with that tight, see through shirt and those pants that were just tight enough to really highlight everything so I could imagine how perfectly his ass would fill my hands while I-
Diandra: CHRIS! DON'T MAKE ME DIG OUT THE SPRAY BOTTLE.
Emilio: At this point, you may need the garden hose.
Juan tells him to forget it, they're "sorting" it. Teddy is like 'oh, really? How?' Juan repeats for him to just forget it.

Teddy stops the car and stares at him. He snarls that this is HIS operation and he has a right to know details about it. Juan sighs and says Roxy is back on their side. "That's all you need to know." Teddy asks if Gilberto really trusts "that bitch". Juan says yes, and he should be thanking her because "your English lover-boy had you round his little finger."
Emilio: Wow, they're not even trying to be subtle with the subtext anymore.
Diandra: Yeah, whether or not anything actually happened, everyone is making it clear they know Teddy is "susceptible" for the reasons Chrissy keeps noting. Everyone knows how pretty Jonathan is and that anyone regardless of sex or possibly even sexual orientation would do anything for the opportunity to climb on top of him.
Chrissy: And honestly, Teddy has been doing a fair amount of trying to get Jonathan wrapped around a different finger. Or fingers, plural, rather.
Diandra: I know you meant that to be way lewder, but...recently I tried to prompt my muse to restart my MCU fic and she instead presented me with a snippet of Jonathan catching one of Teddy's wandering hands a few episodes back and sucking suggestively on his finger because that would DEFINITELY short-circuit his brain and make him agreeable to anything.
Chrissy: ...........please tell me you are actually writing that.
Diandra: No. [ETA: see end notes]
I just want to be clear: this is the actual line. I did not make it up.

The bus dumps Roxanna near the parking lot and Martin and Jonathan watch from the safety of their car. Roper watches the CCTV of the parking lot from the villa.

Teddy stops the car on a hill and announces that he will call the Cabreras and tell them they're here. He gets out of the truck.

Jonathan is just reaching for the car door when his phone buzzes. It's Teddy, doing the same trick again: giving his location in Spanish. Jonathan says he's been delayed and is currently picking up Roxanna. "I wouldn't bother with that," Teddy says. "We're waiting. Don't waste your time." Jonathan hangs up and starts actually looking around the parking lot for signs of a trap. Roxanna calls him as he's noticing the big black SUV. She asks where he is and Roper leans in eagerly at his laptop. Jonathan spots an empty car nearby and tells her he's in that. The guys in the black SUV immediately jump out and descend on the car, guns blazing. Jonathan is like 'yeah, good luck with that, traitor' and he and Martin drive away. Roper slams his laptop shut as his hit men realize the car they are shooting at is empty.
Chrissy: Yeah, if it hadn't been he would definitely have saved that little snuff film for future wank material.
Diandra: Ugh. I mean...probably. But still, ew.

Teddy and Juan are hanging around the truck. Teddy is smoking. Juan gets a text and paces angrily. Teddy innocently asks what happened. Juan is like 'your boyfriend got away because SOMEBODY tipped him off.' He asks how long the Cabreras are going to be. Teddy says he wouldn't know. "But they're coming, right," Juan asks. Because he's not a total idiot, it turns out. He asks if Teddy actually called them and asks to see his phone. Teddy is like 'go fuck a cactus.' Juan pulls his phone back out and says fine, he'll call them himself. Teddy is like 'seriously with the trust issues, man?' He pulls out his phone and tosses it on the ground between them like 'fine. Here it is. Have at it.' And when Juan reaches for it, muttering "son of a bitch", he kicks him in the face. He pulls his gun and growls about Juan calling HIM a son of a bitch and asks if he knew that Roper was planning to ditch him and go back to England alone. Juan says yeah, everybody knew that except you, dumbass. Teddy presses the gun to his forehead and Juan starts begging for mercy. From the guy he just called a dumb son of a bitch. Teddy says he doesn't want to kill him. If he will just get up and get back in the car... Juan lurches up and tackles Teddy, knocking the gun out of his hand. They fight a little and Juan starts reaching for a nearby rock while Teddy crawls for the gun. Juan barely turns back before Teddy shoots him.
Diandra: I might be getting ahead of myself here, but you can really feel the sudden shift of the writers realizing they need to make it clear Teddy is really not the bad guy he was presented as in the beginning.
Emilio: Because they made sure he only killed in self defense?
Diandra: Yeah. Plus the whole "the charity is well meaning and anything he does that's bad is just as a proxy for his dad" thing from last episode.

In town, Martin retrieves an envelope from somewhere that he says has photos and coordinates from "Jane". He tells Jonathan to take the car and go from here without him. He'll find his own way. Because I guess it's inconvenient to the plot to keep them together now. Jonathan tasks him with finding Tavo and drives away.

Back at the villa, Roper is yelling at Mayra over the phone that they are NOT postponing the plan. She is not willing to take the risk and insists she is pulling the plug on the op until they find Jonathan. "Mayra, darling, I wonder if you know how to cook a frog," Roper snarls. He gives a colorful description of the frog in boiling water myth, punctuated by informing her that she is the frog here. "You're going to regret speaking to me like that," she snaps. He's like 'no, YOU don't threaten ME.' He reminds her that she's the one who had Rex killed so "if I go down, I'll happily take you with me."

Jonathan arrives at the location Teddy gave him and they toss Juan's body down the cliff. Then we cut right to Jonathan handing Teddy the pictures of his meeting with Roper from the envelope. Teddy asks what will happen to Roper "if all this works". Jonathan is like 'you don't need me to actually answer that question.' He non sequiturs that he saw Teddy self harming that night in Cartagena. "You don't have to be that person, Teddy. You can disappear into those hills, back to your sister. Be Eduardo Vidal again."
Chrissy: Yeah, oooorrrrr you could take an early retirement, cash in the rest of that money you took from Roper and both of you could go live on a beach somewhere where you can spend the rest of your lives wrapping yourselves around each other's fingers.
Diandra: I mean...as long as we're pretending he isn't doomed to an inevitable, tragic end, sure. Why not?
Chrissy: [sigh] Would you work with me, woman?
Diandra: I know. I get the appeal, but honestly pretty much every story I've read so far that splits off to give them a happy ending together rings false. Because even if they are falling in love with each other, it's still all tragedy coded in a way that can't possibly work. Jonathan sees him as a messed up kid who never got a chance; someone he can save from a shitty life. Teddy sees Jonathan as filling a void -
Emilio: [giggle]
Diandra: YES I KNOW, PHRASING. But seriously, Jonathan is someone who can see all the bad shit he's done and the flaws of his character and love him anyway. But to a certain extent...that's a manipulation, although probably even Jonathan doesn't know where the part he's playing ends and the real him begins. And this is after setting aside the fact that they have tried to kill each other. Also...
Jonathan says all of this depends on Roper no longer living, so.
Diandra: ...there's that.
Chrissy: You seem to be deliberately ignoring the fact that you are a FANFICTION writer. You are under no obligation to pay attention to any of that. You could just go 'lalala I can't HEAR YOU', kill Roper and have them run off into the sunset together. The rules don't apply to YOU.
Diandra: Meh. Just don't think that's the sort of thing I would write.

Roxanna is brought back to Roper, who greets her with "when did you fall in love with him?"
Emilio: When did you?
No really, he asks when she swooned into Jonathan's arms and lost all her senses. She snaps that SHE wasn't the one who fucked up the plan, but Roper is apparently unable to consider who else might have done it so he just keeps pressing her about Jonathan's plan to come rescue her. He warns her that he and Frisky have "some experience" in getting people to talk, so... She repeats that SHE DIDN'T DO IT. Frisky goes to grab her and she yells that he's right about Matthew Ellis. "He is so easy to fall in love with", but either she didn't fall for it or she's not capable of love or whatever. If anyone "lost" their "heart" to him...it wasn't her.
Chrissy: And she has no idea who that "someone" could possibly be, I'm sure.
Diandra: Can we talk about the confusion between love and lust here? Because I'm pretty sure whatever might have been between Jonathan and Roxy briefly couldn't really be described as "love". More like angry lust. Whereas whatever is between the two men skipped right over the initial manic physical attraction into something that might actually be love.
Chrissy: Is that why you're stubbornly avoiding any headcanons that involve them fucking?
Diandra: Am I? I thought I was just avoiding you shoehorning sex scenes where they don't really fit.
Chrissy: Where DO they fit then? Because I'm starting to think the only acceptable scene to you is when Jonathan was drunk and high, sprawled in Teddy's lap. I assume that's where the finger sucking thing you mentioned earlier would come in and he would get Teddy so worked up that he would have no choice but to drag him to his bedroom and commit several sinful acts under the watchful eyes of Jesus.
Diandra: ....................
Emilio: Ah, yep. That was it. We lost her.
Diandra: No, I...[cough] I'm fine.
Chrissy: I look forward to the text blaming me for the fic your muse is writing right now.

Hugh Laurie reaches back to his "House" days and has a visible revelation of what everyone else has probably already figured out if Juan is referring to Jonathan as Teddy's lover, Jesus. Catch up, Dickie. He orders Frisky to take Roxy back to her room and mutters "oh, you beauty," which is a line he used last season. Then he stews as he contemplates the possibility that Jonathan is quite possibly fucking ANOTHER member of his family to get to him.
Chrissy: The tragedy being that, despite having SEVERAL OPPORTUNITIES, he still got closer with Roxanna.
Emilio: Yeah, turns out the writers are not really THAT brave.

Teddy drives into Cabrera's camp, seemingly alone. A guard frisks him for weapons and he greets Jose's son(?) Carlos for the benefit of the audience. Jose asks where Juan is. Teddy shakes his head and mutters that he needs to show them something. He goes to open the back of the jeep, revealing a bound and gagged Jonathan in the trunk.
Emilio: I suppose we know what the background on your phone is now, Chrissy.
Chrissy: [vague, distracted humming]
He manhandles Jonathan over to the Cabreras and throws him on the ground. Jose is like 'uh huh...and you are showing us your new fucktoy why?'
Chrissy: DON'T TEASE ME IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRITE IT WOMAN.

Jose asks who the fuck this guy is. Teddy snarls that he calls himself Matthew Ellis and he tricked them by pretending to be an investor. Teddy tried to put him on a plane two days ago, but here are some pictures of him eating breakfast with Roper yesterday. So Teddy has been following him ever since and just found him in a hotel nearby.
Chrissy: He was wearing this really revealing shirt, so obviously I got a bit distracted and had to ravish him thoroughly first.
Diandra: On the plus side, it made subduing him like this easier.
Chrissy: Wait...are you actually going along with my prompts now? Really?
Emilio: Better late than never?
They are pinning this on Juan for convenience apparently. Teddy claims Juan tried to call him on the way here before pulling a gun on him, so he had to put Juan down. Jose buys this and orders them to bring "Matthew" to a tent. Carlos and Teddy drag him along, backward so he can get a good look at the camp and the orphan soldiers throughout.

Justice building. Consuelo gets a call from "Jane", who just says "it's happening. You need to come now." She tells the guards her son's school is calling her and she needs some privacy. She steps away, babbling like she's talking to her son while Sally tells her which exit to take and what car to look for. Once she's out of sight of the guards, she makes a run for it and dives in Sally's car, peeling away.

Back at the camp, Carlos shoves Jonathan in a chair and rips the duct tape off his mouth. Jonathan yelps at them to untie him and Carlos punches him in the gut. Teddy looms over him for some interrogation theater, demanding to know who he really is and punching him as well when he says he's Matthew Ellis. Jose pulls Andrew Birch's ID out of a wallet and purrs that he's obviously lying. Teddy says MATTHEW is supposed to be in Paris right now with his wife and daughter. He grabs him by the back of the neck and waves the pictures of him and Roper in his face, demanding to know what this is about and who this man is. Jonathan says he's an old friend named Giles Merriman.
Emilio: Right because that's what we needed. ANOTHER name.

Teddy grabs a chain from nearby, wraps it around his hand and punches Jonathan a couple more times, hissing "wrong answer" as he wails. He shoves Jonathan upright and gets in his face, saying he will ask one more time. Jonathan pants that his name is Richard Roper and the meeting was just business. Teddy says 'oh, really? Is that what you called him from the hotel phone about? Business?' He plays a sound file on his phone, which is an edit Sally apparently cobbled together out of the dog collar recordings and that last conversation with Jonathan. So it ends up sounding like Jonathan and Roper are talking about Jose being a "cowboy" unfit for "civilized company" and planning to meet up again in England after the Cabreras are dead. "I'll be seeing you. Soon I hope." "The sooner the better. I miss that smile."
Emilio: So....was he your boyfriend?
Chrissy: Yeah, making Teddy a party to this whole suggestion that "Andrew" and his dad may have been secret lovers for years is just cruel.

Carlos kicks Jonathan in the chest, upending the chair and Jose squats over him to scream in his face. And then he cocks his gun and shoves the barrel in Jonathan's mouth.
Chrissy: And Teddy is very conflicted about the boner he's getting right now.
Emilio: Thanks for sending me this screen shot completely out of context, by the way.
Diandra: I'm sorry.
Chrissy: .........what now?
Diandra: I tried to warn him of what was coming in this episode, particularly that you would say something about Teddy watching while a phallic object is shoved in Jonathan's mouth. It took me, like, a day to realize I had sent this random screenshot of Tom with a large black cylindrical object in his mouth and said something vague like "by the way this is going to happen" and that might explain why Emilio had gone really quiet for a while.
Emilio: Oh, it was obviously a gun. Not that it matters because the AI that spies on our texts was going to find it problematic either way.
Diandra: I am so sorry.
Emilio: Meh. I think we both accepted that random weird texts is a condition of our friendship a long time ago. I just know better than to check a message from you when I'm in a work meeting.
Chrissy: I'm sorry, can we go back to the fact that you warned him in advance about what you knew I would say?
Diandra: We've been doing these things for too long for me to NOT be able to guess how you would respond to someone shoving a phallic object in Jonathan's mouth while Teddy is in the room.
Chrissy: ............jesus. I know we keep making a joke of it, but you really ARE Sherlock.
Diandra: I will take that as a compliment.
Honestly, I think the director knew what she was doing here too.

Jose pulls the gun out and Jonathan, between choking and spitting blood, gurgles that he's with British Intelligence and he infiltrated Roper's operation nine years ago in Egypt. "I recruited him under the counter. I've been working with him ever since."
Emilio: So...he was your boyfriend?
Diandra: He's the Sadistic Baron.
Chrissy: WE HAD AN AGREEMENT.
Diandra: Yes, which you yourself admitted would only last to the end of last episode.
Chrissy: Yeah, but I'M not the one who just broke it!
Diandra: Oh, right. Sorry.

Jose is like 'um....okay...so...how does that connect to now?' Jonathan offers to tell him what the operation is NOW if they can guarantee he walks away free with a flight back to Mia-London. Yeah, if you're playing the home game: he is now playing Roxy. They pull him upright and Jose waves the gun in his face, ordering him to start talking. Jonathan outlines their plans that he uncovered: they've been getting illegal arms shipments for the past two years to equip their rebel army and they're expecting the last shipment here tonight. Except it won't contain the EMP they think it will because Roper has laid a trap. The plane will drop armed military special forces to kill everyone. Jose gets up and orders someone to help him stop that plane and we focus on Teddy's face as there are sounds of somebody hitting Jonathan again.

Sally drives Consuelo to that deserted field, confirming with her that nobody has used it for decades and probably don't even know it exists. Sally tells her to call her people and have them bring cameras. Then she goes and sends a message to Basil because she still doesn t know what happened to him. She gets a response from Angela that she will be replacing the "usual customer liaison" as he is unavailable.

Back in London, Sandy calls...somebody as he's being driven to a flat somewhere, having just arrived back home. He's not really happy to be living in a "warehouse conversion", but whatever. A woman's voice on the other end offers to come over and help him "settle in". Sandy sighs that he would love to, but he can't since he has to get up really early tomorrow to go to Oxfordshire and "help out an old friend." She offers to come tomorrow then. He doesn't answer because he's distracted by the driver seemingly taking a wrong turn into a parking garage. He asks what the hell is going on and the driver says it's the address the "home office" gave him. He stops, offers to "go find out" and leaves Sandy alone in the car. Sandy tests his door and naturally finds himself locked in. Before he can really panic about this, the other back seat door opens and Angela climbs in. She tells him not to bother calling Mayra because "I've got half an army out there." She says she has to show him something and then they're going to have a little chat.
Chrissy: Ah, yes. We really did need her. Too bad she's been busy wi-OW!
Diandra: No.
Emilio: You know, Olivia is in the MCU too now, so you could do a headcanon that she's on some sort of secret government assignment with some weird variant of Doctor Strange.
Diandra: You could, but that would be too much work and I'm still waiting to see how much of that show Marvel is going to retcon out of existence before I acknowledge it.

Back at the villa, Roper confirms that the plane is in the air before he orders guards to get a jeep ready for now and a ride to the airport tomorrow morning. Then he goes to talk to Roxy, rambling about how his mother could adjust their lifestyle at the slightest change in the family's economic stability. Which is how he learned to adapt as needed and just plow ahead without any pesky "nostalgia". "When circumstances demand, I shed a skin and pick up a new one [...] Nothing is so precious that it can't be sacrificed. Nothing and no one." Roxy is like 'sure, I can soliloquy too' and talks about how her father was "sentimental", but she ditched that thinking when he died. Roper is like 'yeah, so back to me...' "I'm shedding a skin now thanks to you." She asks what SHE had to do with anything and he just jumps up to check on whether the jeep is ready yet.

Back in England, Angela is expositing that Sandy has gotten himself involved in a regime change plot in a foreign country that got a British diplomat murdered and how is that going to look for his parole? He feigns ignorance. She asks how his trip to Colombia was then. How's the "old man" doing? She leans forward and reminds him that she already knows all about the plan, so this attempt at avoidance is pointless. The only thing she's missing is "hard evidence" tying Roper to Mayra. If he can get her that, she will let him get away clean. "You might even get to see your kids again." Or he could screw her and she will make sure he goes away for the rest of his natural life. His choice. "Stop taking the bullet for Richard Roper, Sandy. Because, and I tell you this for free, he will never take one for you." He sort of nods an acknowledgement of that, but doesn't actually respond. She leaves him to think about it.

Carlos is guarding Jonathan, who now has blood running down his face from a cut on his forehead. Teddy knocks on the door to the shed and orders Carlos to give him some time alone with the "son of a bitch." Carlos doesn't move, so he pulls out a pocket knife and says it's personal. Carlos leaves and Teddy uses the knife to cut the ties on Jonathan's wrists, telling him that Roper is on his way here. He tilts Jonathan's head back so he can inspect the damage to his pretty face. He shakes his head and reaches for a rag sitting in a bucket of water for...some reason. Jonathan pulls his shirt up to show the bruising all over his chest and Teddy presses the cloth to a spot where the skin seems to have broken. Jonathan hisses and Teddy murmurs that they went "too far." Jonathan insists it was "necessary".
Chrissy: If I wanted you to stop, I would have used the safeword.
Diandra: Ha. Yeah. But seriously, the way he was steering the interrogation and hovering near Jonathan while Jose was waving a gun in his face makes it pretty clear on second viewing that there was a plan b and he was watching for a signal that Jonathan wanted him to enact it.

Then there's a weird little jump and suddenly Jonathan is pressing the cloth to the cut on his face and Teddy is sort of fluttering uncertainly. Jonathan grabs him and says urgently that lying to Cabrera is easy enough, but Roper is going to be harder. He cups Teddy's cheek and says he's going to have to make Roper believe he still loves him. That he's still the father that he waited a whole year for one day with. "You show him nothing less than the devotion he deserves." "Like a dog," Teddy sneers. Jonathan says yeah, sure. If that helps.

Teddy smiles sadly and grips the arm Jonathan has reached over his shoulder to grip the back of his neck. Then he slowly turns and presses his lips to Jonathan's wrist. Jonathan whispers his name in surprise and then Teddy is leaning in and kissing him gently, mindful of the bruises and probably faintly tasting blood, whicjF On:KL?B,H.AG
Diandra: HEY! You spend five and a half episodes poking my muse and the second she bites you rip the keyboard out of my hands?!
Chrissy: I wasn't trying to get you to do it right in the goddamn recap! What the hell? Also, now? Seriously? You're doing this NOW?!
Emilio: I mean, it's not really surprising given the sort of thing she usually writes. Also, that look on Teddy's face totally screams 'can I go down on you?' Y'know, if you needed inspiration.
Chrissy: That's not helping!
Emilio: Like I said, I don't really care WHAT she writes. I just want to see her write. Maybe this will help restart that Sorcerer John story.
Diandra: [shakes self out of stupor] EMPATH. He's an empath!
Chrissy: Oh, good, you're back. If I give you back the keyboard do you promise to go back to actual recapping and save the fanfic for later?
Diandra: [snatches back keyboard, grumbling]
Ugh. Thanks for that description, Emilio.

Teddy grabs the cloth and presses it to the side of Jonathan's face, cupping his head with his other hand. Jonathan pushes the hand with the cloth away and whispers "just have faith." Teddy strokes his head and says "goodbye Matthew." They press their foreheads together and FOR GOD'S SAKE JUST KISS HIM.
Chrissy: Have you just been holding this in all this time and now that we're in the eleventh hour it's all just...exploding out, or...
Diandra: I thought we talked about this several episodes ago. I said there was a theory about the hurt/comfort genre appealing to asexuals because it's intimacy without needing sexual contact and I thought you had taken that into account when you noted that this show was going to "push all of my buttons" this season. And now you're surprised that a scene where Teddy is tending to Jonathan's wounds and they keep touching and stroking each other's faces acts like a cattle prod to my muse?
Emilio: Also, I mean...for a second there, it did kind of look like they might kiss.
Diandra: That too. Because at this point, it would hardly be a stretch.
Honestly, it wouldn't be surprising if this ended up being the background on MY phone.

Teddy reties Jonathan's hands, checking to make sure he isn't doing it too tightly...
Chrissy: Good form, yes.
...and goes to the door, hesitating for a moment while they stare at each other before calling Carlos back.

Back in England, Mayra gets a text with an old picture of her, Roper and Sandy. The text says she should be careful what sort of company she keeps and that they should meet in one hour at UCL library.

Jonathan watches through the cracks in the shed wall as Jose gives Teddy instructions about not making Roper suspicious that they are on to his plan. He should give the pilot the wrong coordinates when he calls, but where are they going to send it? Teddy says San Marcos, the abandoned military base he used for a couple cocaine runs. He hands Jose a slip of paper with the coordinates. Someone whistles loudly to signal that "he" is here. Jose mutters that they need to act like nothing has changed and they don't know about his plans with his secret lover or whatever they are.

Teddy glances nervously back at the shed Jonathan is in as Roper arrives and Jose goes to hug him. Roper turns to Teddy and asks if everything is going according to plan. Teddy smirks and says it's all going perfectly. Roper asks where Juan is and Teddy lies that he's already gone to the drop zone.
Diandra: Can we talk about just how extensive this plan Jonathan and Teddy must have come up with between scenes is? Like...did they go over ALL of this just before Teddy tied him up and threw him in the back of the truck, or...
Emilio: Or since they were working on the recording before that, Teddy could have called last night to discuss it and also give a graphic description of what he's wanted to do to Jonathan since seeing him in that slutty shirt at the hotel and that's the sins he was washing away this morning.
Diandra: ...........
Chrissy: Yeah, you can send me that fic too, D.

Roper seems to call Teddy on that lie, but Teddy just stares at him, unflinching, until he jokes that Juan is probably off doing coke in the bushes somewhere. Jose is like 'yeah...hahaha...sure' and wanders off. Roper turns to some of the child soldiers nearby and asks one how old she is. She says 13. "Kings of America," he chortles to Teddy.

At the abandoned airfield, Consuelo greets the reporter she called and says she wants him to take pictures of everything because "I want proof of that British weapon on Colombian soil." Sally tracks the plane's movements on her laptop.

Jose's walkie bursts to life and Roper chortles that they are right on time and asks Jose to "do the honors". The pilot asks for landing coordinates and Jose fishes the paper Teddy gave him from his pocket. We cut to Jonathan straining to listen through the shed wall as the pilot confirms the location and says they'll make the drop in one hour.

Sally calls Consuelo over to show her that the plane has banked east and is headed toward them.

Back with Jonathan watching as the little camp breaks up and Roper pulls Teddy aside to ask if he's still angry. Teddy says no, he's though about it and realized he made a mistake with Matthew Ellis and he sorry for that. Roper chuckles. "Well, we've all done that sometimes, haven't we?"
Chrissy: At least there's no danger that you got him pregnant. Ha!
Diandra: Except for that one Omegaverse fic...
Chrissy: Oh, for fuck's sake. Is there some very specific subrule of Rule 34 that says if porn that exists for the thing is slash fanfic, there MUST be at least one mpreg fic?
Diandra: I don't know, but I'm guessing I and other asexuals are drawn to mpreg as a specific subgenre of hurt/comfort and that's why I write and read them in every fandom I've been in for the last two decades, starting before Omegaverse was even a thing. There was a time when we had to do a whole lot more worldbuilding to explain how we were able to impregnate our male characters.
Chrissy: Congratulations. That may be the weirdest "kids these days don't know how good they have it" argument I've ever heard.
Diandra: Also, there are at least three Omegaverse stories for this, which is impressive for a fandom that only occupies 30 pages on AO3.
Emilio: Let me guess...Jonathan is the Omega in all of them.
Diandra: ............yes.
Emilio: Thought so.
Chrissy: Oy, there really needs to be several studies conducted to try to explain whatever the fuck this is.
Teddy says he only ever wanted to please his father. Roper says he does and they head for a truck that will take them to the drop point.

Jose starts for the door of the shed and Jonathan scrambles back to his seat and plays innocent captive for Jose to drag along.

Back in England, Mayra sits at a table in the library with Angela. Angela flips through pictures and waves the one of Mayra and Roper as she says she has insurance policies in case Mayra gets any ideas. Mayra asks where she got that picture. Angela is like 'oh, that's only the tip of the iceberg of the evidence I've been gathering for the prosecution.' She flicks through the copies of emails and texts between Mayra, Adam and various outfits in Miami and Colombia and a handwritten note to Sandy connecting her directly to Roper. They just need the actual shipment now. Which should be on a plane in the sky right now. They think it's headed for Roper's army, but Jonathan should have redirected it by now and when Angela gets it there will be an international scandal that will take down Mayra and Roper. And if it were up to Angela, she would suffer for having killed Rex "one of the gentlest men to ever grace this Earth", but "the service wouldn't survive that." So she just wants her to resign and "piss off."

The two jeeps arrive at whatever jungle location and Roper and Teddy get out of the first one. Jose tells whoever is in the back to keep an eye on Jonathan - who Roper still doesn't know is here - before getting out of the second.

Back in England, Mayra hisses that she "despises" Angela's "kind". What, people with morals? Angela says the feeling is mutual. Mayra snarls that she has nothing to be sorry for because she did her job for her country and she would do it again in a heartbeat. Angela hisses that Richard Roper isn't a JOB. "He's a choice you make." And by throwing in with him, Mayra is condemned to "the lowest circle of hell" and Angela is going to enjoy watching her burn.

Roper asks again where Juan is. Teddy assures him he's up there somewhere and they light torches.

Sally spots the plane coming in for a landing and calls Angela. They both put their phones on speaker and Consuelo identifies herself and says she has visual on the plane and they're ready to document everything.

Roper, meanwhile, is noticing that the plane is late. Jose snarks that maybe it isn't coming at all. Roper asks if that's supposed to be funny. Jose sighs that he wishes he was kidding. He calls Carlos to "bring the Englishman." At Roper's confusion, he adds that they have his "friend, Andrew Birch." "They were watching us at the restaurant," Jonathan says as he is shoved into the clearing with a gun to his head. "They followed me here. They know everything." Roper is like 'are you kidding me with this shit?' He tells Jose that this guy is British Intelligence and Jose is like 'yeah, I know.' Roper snaps that he's not listening because this is obviously a trap. "I know that if I allowed that plane to drop it's cargo, I'd be a dead man," Jose snarls. Which is what his racist ass wants, right? He backhands Roper, who staggers and glares at Jonathan. "Give up, Dickie," Jonathan says softly. "Game's over." Roper snaps at him to shut up and turns back to Jose, saying he'll forgive that one blow, but really, the plane contains exactly what he said it would: a British EMP. Ask Teddy. Teddy huffs a laugh and then unloads all of his daddy issues in a rant that Roper has used him and lied to him and always planned to go back to England and his ONLY son Danny. But hey, now he'll never see Danny again because "you die tonight under my Colombian sky. And I will bury you myself."
Chrissy: I mean, I will probably get my new boyfriend to help and then if we're not too exhausted I will fuck his brains out right on your grave, but yeah. That one's free, by the way, Diandra.
Diandra: [heavy sigh]

Teddy cocks his gun and Roper sort of chuckles and sneers "you are VERY good," at Jonathan. He starts yelling at Teddy to DO IT then. "Let's not disappoint Mr. Birch. He's come a long way for this. Show him what you're made of. Show him the blood you come from!" He presses his forehead to the barrel of the gun, growling a quote from Macbeth about doing the deed quickly.
Chrissy: Seriously, is every British citizen able to quote Shakespeare at a moment's notice? Is this part of a citizenship test?
Diandra: Probably.
Teddy starts shaking and Roper offers to count him down and starts with 1,000. Jonathan tries to prod Teddy to just do it. Teddy closes his eyes and...Roper's phone rings, startling everyone. Everyone with guns isn't really sure where to point them as he reaches for his phone. Roper says Jose really wants him to get this and looks Jonathan in the eye as he answers with a Scottish accent for some reason, berating Frisky for being late. "Bring her in, will you?" He hangs up and Teddy regroups and points the gun at his head again. Except everyone is distracted by the sound of an airplane approaching. Cabrera's men all start scrambling on the assumption that they're about to be attacked and Jonathan is staring in the direction of the noise like '....oh shit.'

Teddy stares at Jonathan like 'the fuck? This is not part of the plan!' and then looks down as he apparently decides Jonathan has double crossed him. Jonathan gets teary eyed as Roper starts up again, gloating that he failed to watch the cups.
Seriously, there's more going on in the background than the foreground here...

The planes both at the abandoned airfield and in the jungle drop identical containers. Sally and Consuelo have no reason to suspect anything is weird. Jonathan and Teddy are exchanging looks behind Roper's back again as Jonathan obviously desperately tries to assure Teddy that he didn't do this. Roper chortles that Jose shouldn't have doubted him. Jose orders the men to keep guns on both him and Jonathan while they open the container. Sally runs to their container, followed by Consuelo and the whole camera crew. Both containers are opened at the same time and Sally stares at a single red rose dangling on a chain in shock. Carlos yips that theirs has the weapon as promised and Roper takes a sassy little bow.

Angela's face falls as Sally tells her the contents of their shipment. She has the phone off speaker, but Mayra catches the drift and sashays away, tossing a "see you around. Must visit you in France one day" over her shoulder.

Roper, meanwhile, has turned the full attention of his monologue on Jonathan, calling him a "big game hunter" and using his real name which might or might not be the only time Teddy has ever heard it depending on what headcanon you choose to accept. "First my American sweetheart in Majorca, and now my very own son. Always the prize trophy."
Chrissy: Yeah, everyone is just officially assuming they are lovers.
Diandra: I mean..............yeah?
"You demand love by tyranny, Richard," Jonathan warbles. "It'll only get you so far."
Chrissy: Yeah, yeah, flies with honey. Which I assume is why you pulled a honeypot on Teddy. That's what you did, right? I mean...that would be so much easier than trying to leverage a third person to help you, right?
Diandra: You're just going to flog that dead horse right to the end, huh?
Chrissy: I'M JUST SAYING.

Roper smarms "we'll see" and goes to stand in front of Eduardo, musing that he was such a sweet angel when he was a baby. He hugs him and whispers "I forgive you" in his ear in Spanish. Then he steps back, says he forgives his immortal soul, but not his mortal one and pulls his gun. Jonathan, who has been twisting at his zip ties this whole scene, apparently finally gets free and screams, diving for them. He is tackled immediately. Roper fires right into the middle of Teddy's forehead. Mournful music plays, punctuated by Jonathan crying as Roper goes to nudge Teddy and verify he's dead. He turns to a distraught Jonathan and says "just so you know...my offer was real." He cocks the gun again and bemoans that they could have "done so much together." Jose starts to protest that HE wants to take care of that asshole, but they're all interrupted when Martin starts shooting from somewhere. While Roper is distracted trying to shoot back, Jonathan self preservation finally kicks in again and he runs for it. Roper belatedly tries to shoot him, but only manages to bounce a bullet off a tree trunk and his arm. Roper yells at whoever will obey his orders to "find him".
Seriously, let's not just forget about this next season, please.

Tavo and Martin catch Jonathan on the other side of a tree line and shove him in a truck. Tavo tries to stop the bleeding in his arm as Martin tries to lose the jeep following them. He only does this for, like, a minute before stopping and yelling at Tavo to take Jonathan and run. Apparently this works because the bad guys follow him until they manage to surround him. One guy - possibly Carlos - approaches the car with gun drawn and we cut away before the shot.

Roxy is looking at a departure screen at the airport where the flight to Miami is listed as being on time while Roper's voice echoes in her head about sacrifice and shedding a skin because of her.
Emilio: Fuck. We're going to get the boring het pairing next season after all, aren't we?
Diandra: Possibly.
Chrissy: This is what fanfiction writers are for.
Diandra: I mean, I don't see any reason to pair him with anyone anytime soon, but I suppose she's the only one left to maybe (if she can get her loyalties straightened out) help him and Sally avenge all the people they've lost. Including Teddy.

In France, Angela is talking into her phone, possibly just making a recording, about how she has dug deeper into the files and figured out that this is bigger than Roper and she has a name...and a dog barks outside before she can finish. Sometime after this, I guess, her daughter finds her crumpled on the ground outside with a bullet in her chest.

Tavo is half-carrying Jonathan through the jungle. Jonathan staggers and falls and looks at a bird flying overhead with a completely bloodshot eye while Tavo frantically tries to get him back up before just pitching into the dirt.

And then we get a scene some indeterminate amount of time later of Roper picking up Danny from his boarding school. "Missed your old man," he asks. Danny gives a tiny nod and rushes to hug him. Roper does the standard joke about how tall he's getting and helps get his things in the car. Danny asks where they're going. Roper says he wants to give him a tour of the new place in Oxfordshire that Sandy already told him about. They get in the car and before Roper drives off he says he's been meaning to ask..."how would you feel about us getting some dogs?"
Emilio: Okay, so the next person Jonathan gets to help him with this has to be John Wick.
Diandra: I would definitely be on board with that crossover.

Once the car starts, the radio announces that the death toll in Colombia is in the hundreds already following the sudden power cut on Monday that has plunged them into civil war. Thousands are fleeing as the army...Roper switches the channel abruptly to music, which carries us into the credits.
Emilio: Yikes. This alone would explain the spike in fanfiction because what the hell?
Diandra: Yeah, it seems a lot of people forgot that when it was announced the show was coming back it was announced as coming back for season two AND THREE. And then apparently missed that Tom was saying as part two was released that it is only the first half of the planned twelve part story.
Chrissy: I don't know if you've been noting the things that have been happening in real life between our recapping sessions here, but at some point we started to question whether this really was helping any of us now that the words "regime change" are being thrown around in the actual news of the developing World War III.
Diandra: And we agreed that it still can, yeah. Because fiction doesn't have to be happy and fluffy to be comforting. I learned that when a sexual abuse survivor thanked me for sharing a story about a fictional character recovering from sexual abuse because it was reassuring to be told that there could be a happy end to the process she was still in the middle of. Here, even though we just ended this season on all of the good guys but Jonathan and Sally being dead and Roper winning, we know this is only the halfway point and somehow despite all odds Jonathan will win in the end. Or at least Roper will lose, which is more important.
Chrissy: And in the meantime, we can escape into happy little alternate realities where some or all of that didn't happen and Teddy and Jonathan are off somewhere "filling paperwork".
Diandra: Subtle, Chris.
Emilio: That is the other part of it though. When Chrissy and I were talking about what we could do to help you through this era with your sanity mostly intact, we agreed that ANY writing we could get you to do would help.
Chrissy: And the way we've seen you become more animated than you have been in the past year while doing this has proven us right.
Diandra: There you go making yourself sound noble again.
Emilio: Eh. It does go both ways. I know doing this with the two of you has helped me just as much as it has obviously helped you.
Diandra: Aww. Thanks guys.
Chrissy: And seriously, I look forward to that text. Unless it has anything to do with that Sadistic Baron thing, in which case keep that to yourself.
Diandra: I love you too.

When this show started back in January, I thought it would be funny to start working on a crochet doll of Thor while I watched it. When I knew Chrissy was going to drag me into a recap, I set a goal of finishing him before I finished the recap. Well...I'm happy to report that I made it just under the wire.
Pictured with Steve and Tony and obviously I can't do this pattern the same way twice.

I also, after a second early morning wake up wherein my muse decided to bombard me with graphic descriptions of Jonathan more overtly seducing Teddy, I tentatively started the fic Chrissy spent the majority of this recap trying to get me to write. I sent a screenshot of the snippet I'm sure will become the summary if I ever finish it to her and this is the conversation that followed.
Diandra: This is all your fault and I hate you. So. Much.
Chrissy: [laugh emoji, kiss emoji, devil emoji] No you don't.