"Torchwood: Miracle Day, episode 7: Immortal Sins"

Starring: John Barrowman, Eve Myles, Mekhi Phifer, Alexa Havins


John starts the introduction by saying this is one of his 
favorite episodes. Probably the fact that Jack has sex with a 
cute guy has something to do with it.
   Chrissy: Oh, well. Glad I didn't ditch you for this 
    episode like I was originally planning. 
   Diandra: We're almost done. I'm not letting you run out 
    on this now.
He also notes the heart to heart between Jack and Gwen, which I 
remember being awesome, so... Russell describes it as catching 
your breath in the middle of the action. And then they both 
give up being secretive and lay out that this episode will go 
into Jack's history to explain how we got where we are now and 
it has to do with a past lover. Well then.

The previouslies go back to remind us of the very beginning of 
this season where they hypothesized that, while the rest of the 
world had become immortal, Jack was somehow mortal again. Also, 
C Thomas Howell - who was totally overcast here - suggested 
that Jack should know who was behind The Miracle because he met 
them long ago.

We open on Ellis Island, 1927. There is a crowd of immigrants 
in the main hall and the guy at one of the podiums is calling 
Jack's name. 
   Chrissy: Ah, the good old days. When our grandparents 
    were actually allowed into the country and there was 
    still hope for the future.
   Diandra: That's because they were white. Also, in the 
    case of my family at least, they were from the 
    "correct" religion. 
A guy who is definitely NOT Jack approaches to take his stamped 
visa. He says "grazie! I mean...thank you very much." Jack 
comes running up and tackles him to the ground before he can 
get past the podium, but once he gets him pinned to the ground 
they both just freeze and stare at each other. The authorities 
drag them both up and separate them and Jack holds out his 
papers, explaining that HE'S Jack Harkness and that's his visa. 
Because for some reason despite probably being able to con his 
way around for half a century at this point, he needed to get 
the British government to arrange his travel documents through 
Rome. The guy whose hat says "inspector" apologizes, plucks the 
visa from the Italian guy and orders him sent back wherever he 
came from.
   Chrissy: [takes a breath and opens mouth]
   Diandra: Don't.

Jack goes to visit the guy in the holding cell Ellis Island 
happens to have for such circumstances. Italian guy grumbles 
that he thought Jack would have been long gone by now. Jack 
says he's waiting for the boat to Manhattan. Italian guy says 
yeah, he's waiting for a boat too, apparently, but his goes all 
the way back to Italy. Jack notes that that's what "they" do 
with "thieves".
   Chrissy: And people with minor traffic violations. And 
   people who have the wrong religion. And people who 
   happen to have the same name as somebody on a watch 
   list...

Italian guy pointedly says they do it to people who carry fake 
visas too. Jack smirks, sidles closer to the cell and asks why 
he didn't tell them it was fake. Italian guy says because he 
wasn't sure until just now. Sucker. Jack just chuckles and says 
he's on an "unofficial official visit" that has something to do 
with part of the government pretending to be another part of 
the government. Italian guy notes that he looks more like a 
soldier than a government officer. Jack asks where he learned 
such fantastic English. He says he learned from a teacher in 
the village with the idea that he would come to America one 
day. Jack asks where that village is. Italian guy says nobody 
has ever heard of it because it's tiny, but it's on the Amalfi 
coast, right on the edge of a cliff. Jack asks why he wanted to 
leave. Italian guy gives some ridiculous answer about wanting 
to see the buildings in New York that are taller than the 
cliff. Jack, unable to resist giving hints about the future, 
says they're just getting started. Then he cuts himself off and 
asks what the guy's name is. Finally. Angelo Colasanto. Jack 
repeats the name into his wrist strap, sets the visa between 
the bars, points the watch and a laser beam shoots out and 
alters the name on the paper. Angelo leaps back and crosses 
himself. Yeah, this will go well. Jack tells him not to worry: 
it isn't magic. It's just technology. Angelo reaches through 
the bars to grab his arm, asking how it works and if he can see 
it. Jack stares at him pointedly as he calls for somebody to 
come let him out because they just found his paperwork.

Bleeping credits.

Back in the present, we do a quick run-through of Gwen getting 
the message to bring Jack to whoever is holding her family 
hostage again. She pulls out her phone to call Rhys and her mom 
and we see them sitting in the flat back in Wales, unable to 
answer the phone because there are scary looking men pacing 
nearby. Rhys is holding the baby. The hostage taker tells her 
to keep the lenses in so they can see keep an eye on her.

At the Torchwood hub, Esther is watching the footage of Juarez 
being immolated again when Rex arrives. She slaps the laptop 
closed. Rex just sighs and asks how many views they have. She 
says over five million. People who didn't even know her are 
starting to set up memorial services. She starts an awkward 
apology for him having to witness that in person while Rex 
pours himself a drink. He grumbles that he really didn't know 
her that well. He knows she has parents and either a brother or 
a sister, maybe...but...you know...he didn't really take the 
time to care about remembering details like that because she 
was just a hook up to him. I'm paraphrasing, yes.
   Chrissy: But he is really this much of a dick. 
Esther tries to tell him what was in the obituary, but he 
doesn't care. He says it doesn't matter. She's gone. Esther 
says she doesn't know how to help, but they might be able to 
take comfort in the fact that her death has changed something. 
Rex snorts and reminds her that it was only a hiccup in the 
operation of the camps and the politicians are all denying 
everything.

Gwen bursts through the door, looking for Jack. Esther is like 
um...hi. Welcome back from Wales? Do you have any news on your 
dad? Gwen says no, not exactly. Jack comes in from a balcony or 
something and says he must have missed her arrival because he 
was busy researching this Blessing thing. She says yeah, cool 
story. Hey, can you come down to the car so I can show you 
something? Just you. Jack follows her like a particularly 
gullible, trusting puppy. 

And the second he opens the back door of her truck she tasers 
him unconscious.

We flash back to an Italian woman showing Jack and Angelo a 
tiny apartment in Little Italy. It is entirely unsubtitled and 
Jack doesn't speak Italian, so when she asks him a question, he 
looks to Angelo. Angelo says she's telling them there's only 
one bed. So he's just going to tell her he'll be sleeping on 
the floor. Jack says in loud English that yes, Angelo will 
sleep on the floor. 
   Chrissy: After we fuck each other's brains out.
   Diandra: And honestly, we could use the floor for that 
    too.
She keeps rambling in Italian, then switches to English to 
invite them to come down to her shop anytime. It's a family 
place and they are considered family now. She bustles out and 
Jack and Angelo stare at each other. Angelo rambles that it's a 
nice room and it's cheap. Jack says yeah, well...he should 
spend the next couple years saving as much money has he can 
because there's going to be some bad economic shit coming. But 
don't worry, it will get better. Then it will get worse again. 
Angelo thinks his ramblings are funny. 

Jack suddenly notices scars on his hands and asks if he's been 
in a lot of fights. Angelo says something vague about defending 
himself against people who say "things". Then he tries to 
change the subject to the shitty view outside the window. Jack 
looks out to see a pretty woman on the balcony across the way 
and laughs. Angelo notes that he likes her. 
   Chrissy: Uh, well, she's breathing so yes.
Jack says he likes "a lot of things". Yeah, sometimes all at 
once. They have a little conversation wherein they seem to test 
each other's sexuality. Angelo pretends he finds her attractive 
and Jack asks what he would do to her then if she were here. 
Angelo punts the question back at him because he probably has 
no fucking clue. Jack gets right up behind Angelo and says he'd 
undress her so fast he might tear a couple items of clothing 
and she'd do likewise. And then he'd move in real close, kind 
of like he's doing now, and he'd kiss her so deep that they 
forget to breathe and it's all teeth and wetness. Angelo turns 
around and pants while Jack continues his pretty unimaginative 
description of kissing until their mouths are brushing against 
each other.

And then we cut right to both of them naked and rolling around 
on the bed. 
   Chrissy: HALLELUJAH!
They go at it for maybe ten seconds before we cut to Angelo 
standing at the window again in his underwear.
   Chrissy: GODDAMNIT.
It's dark now, so obviously they have a LOT of stamina. Angelo 
declares that he really LIKES New York. Jack notes that he 
hasn't seen very much of it yet. Angelo looks at him pointedly 
and says what he's seen so far seems "okay". Jack gives him a 
look like 'just OKAY? I just fucked you for goddamn HOURS and 
that's the best review you can give?' Jack asks what he's 
looking for in America, exactly. Angelo gives a rambling answer 
to the effect of it being so exciting and new and everything 
moving quickly. Jack invites him to turn out the lights and 
come back to bed so they can continue this conversation until 
one of them falls asleep.
   Chrissy: I really hope "conversation" isn't a euphemism 
    there.
   Diandra: Well, if it is, then Angelo might be justified 
    in the "just okay" thing. 
   Chrissy: Yeah, it was great until you started snoring. 
    That was kind of a turn off.

Angelo says he thought Jack would want him to leave now. Jack 
is like 'hell no! I mean...unless you don't want...just get 
over here.' Angelo turns off the light and crawls back into the 
bed. Jack asks if he's never done this before then. Angelo says 
"the other part yes...this part, er...no." Jack cuddles closer 
and asks who his "first" was. Angelo says it was a boy from the 
village. But of course they had to meet in secret out in the 
woods because, you know, people weren't exactly accepting of 
The Gays back then.
   Chrissy: Yeah, because it's so much better now.
   Diandra: Well...no. But then we're still pretty racist 
    and sexist too, so...

Jack asks what about that schoolteacher who taught him English.
   Chrissy: You know, if you want to play naughty schoolboy 
   and sexy teacher you should just come out and SAY it.
Angelo gets offended that Jack would assume such a thing about 
his FRIEND and does he think that's funny?
   Chrissy: So you totally had a crush on him and were 
    ashamed of it.
   Diandra: Yeah, possibly.
Angelo is offended that Jack makes sex sound so cheap and 
casual because he thought what they just did was pretty damn 
special. Jack is like 'shit...right...old fashioned' and 
cuddles up to Angelo, kissing his shoulder and apologizing. 
Angelo smiles and asks how Jack knew he was gay. Would anyone 
else know just from looking at him? Well, if you were making 
goo-goo eyes at another man the way you were at Jack I'd say 
yeah. But Jack says no, he's safe. As long as he doesn't want 
people to know, they won't. Angelo says great, but in the 
future Jack might want to...um..."keep your hands down, maybe." 
Jack laughs and says he really doesn't care who knows about 
him. No, but you have the advantage of being from a more 
enlightened time. Also, being immortal. 

Angelo shoves Jack back on the bed and rolls on top of him 
before asking what he really is. Italian visa, British 
passport, accent belonging to neither of those countries. Jack 
says he's from a magical island called "Torchwood". Angelo 
complains that Jack keeps saying things that don't make sense. 
Jack thinks that just makes him more interesting. They just get 
started kissing again when fireworks start going off outside 
and Angelo has a minor heart attack thinking they are bombs. He 
runs to the window and Jack follows him, naked, hugging him as 
they look at the "bombs" going off in the distance and non-
answering "welcome to America, Angelo. Happy Fourth of July."

And back in the present, Gwen is driving, flicking through 
radio stations until she lands on a news report about 
allegations surrounding the "new medical facilities". But 
Oswald Danes has made a statement assuring people that 
emergency procedures are to be expected in their emergency 
state and they should proceed with the category system. Oh, 
well. That's reassuring. Jack wakes up and panics when he 
realizes that his arms are tied. Gwen hurriedly explains that 
she's wearing the contacts and whoever is communicating to her 
through them has her family and they want Jack in exchange for 
them. Jack realizes his feet are tied too. Gwen says of course 
they are or he'd try to jump her and turn the car around. Jack 
stops struggling and asks if she's SURE they have her family. 
She says she called dozens of times and nobody is replying. 
Jack demands she look at him so he can talk to whoever is 
behind the lenses. She is annoyed that he always thinks he can 
just tell her what to do. Jack begs her to just do it. Either 
pull over or look in the rear view mirror. She gives in easily 
and tells him not to "cock this up" before looking in the 
mirror. Jack offers to come willingly if they will let Anwen, 
Rhys and Gwen's mother go. Gwen offers to give herself up too, 
but Jack says NO, the deal is just him. He's the one they want 
anyway. The cursor disappears and Gwen snaps at Jack that her 
mother's name is MARY, by the way. He's known her for how many 
years and he doesn't know her mother's name? Well...has he met 
your mother before? I'm pretty sure most of my coworkers don't 
know my mother's name either. Jack is like 'jesus, SORRY'. Gwen 
rants that he should be sorry because this is ALL his fault. 
Does he even know what he did to cause somebody to want to kill 
him so badly that they would turn the whole rest of the world 
immortal and then blackmail his friends into handing his now-
mortal ass over on a silver platter? He has no idea. Gwen says 
it was obviously SOMETHING in the couple centuries he's been 
around but he probably forgot half of what he did because 
there's so MUCH of it and maybe if he thinks it will come to 
him. Mmmkay.

And we're back to pre-Depression New York. Specifically, the 
Blessed Saints cathedral where somebody is getting married. 
Jack and Angelo are sitting in the back, just watching some 
random strangers' wedding because Jack says he loves weddings. 
Angelo grumbles that he doesn't believe in marriage and really 
this couple obviously doesn't stand much of a chance. I like 
this guy.
   Chrissy: You would.
The couple, by the way, is quite a distance away, but appears 
to be interracial. Also, she is massively pregnant. Jack thinks 
that uncertainty is what makes the whole thing so "brave and 
wonderful". Yeah. Messy divorces involving kids are always fun. 
Especially biracial kids. Jack notes that Angelo is Catholic 
and points at the people kneeling in the pews across the aisle. 
Angelo rolls his eyes and gets on his knees, muttering that 
there's no point because "he doesn't hear me". 
   Chrissy: I think you misunderstand Jack's motives for 
    wanting you to get on your knees.
   Diandra: They're in a church.
   Chrissy: And?
Jack asks why he thinks that. Angelo grumbles that he knows 
very well why. Before this goes into a discussion about how gay 
people are damned in the eyes of religion because their God is 
a bigoted asshole, a priest walks down one of the outside 
aisles and Jack jumps up to go talk to him. 

Cut to Jack in a confession booth. "Forgive me father for I 
have sinned. So many times. And that's just today." He chuckles 
to himself and, after a moment of silence from the other side 
of the booth, continues that it has been 700 years since his 
last confession so this is going to be a LONG list.
   Chrissy: Why don't we save ourselves some time and you 
    just give me about a hundred Hail Mary's and get on 
    with our day? Oh, wait...better add a few for today. I 
    have plans to teach Angelo all about the art of rimming 
    later.
   Diandra: Is a hundred a realistic number of Hail Mary's?
   Chrissy: How the hell would I know? I'm Jewish. Aren't 
    you Lutheran or something?
   Diandra: I am? I don't know, I haven't been to church 
    since I was baptized. 
   Chrissy: I think that means you're Catholic, sweetie.
   Diandra: What's the difference?
   Chrissy: Oy.

Jack offers to begin with the triplets. Or maybe the circus. Or 
"that Sapphic leapfrog jamboree". 
   Chrissy: Is the circus he's referring to the same one 
    from that creepy water monster people episode?
   Diandra: I didn't recap that one.
   Chrissy: Oh. Right.
There's still stony silence from the other side of the booth, 
so Jack clears his throat and says he'll just start with 
"Father Timothy sent me". The privacy window is shoved aside 
and the young priest peeks over and says "you're Jack 
Harkness?"

So the priest takes Jack and Angelo into another room while he 
rambles about the Volstad Act making an exception for 
sacramental wine and their supplier upstate always sending them 
more than they actually need. Oh, right. Prohibition. Wherein a 
bunch of Puritans decided to outlaw something for religious 
reasons. Because this country has always been like this. He 
starts handing bottles to Jack, who notes that they probably 
justify this by saying the extra income feeds lots of widows 
and orphans. Angelo, drinking some from a flask, notes that 
it's not even very good. That's because you're Italian, bud. 
Welcome to America: our wine is much shittier. The priest says 
these bottles are just a sample and if they make enough of a 
profit, they'll start sending whole crates. Welcome to the 
underground.

And the very next scene has some thugs probably working for the 
mafia grabbing them the second they walk through the doorway 
into their apartment and hauling them off. Well, that was a 
short-lived life of crime.

Back in the present, Gwen is saying she doesn't know where 
she's going. Her instructions were just to go East. Jack asks 
if they told her to "get on the 10 going east" or "on the 
Eastbound 10 freeway" or what, exactly. Vocabulary is 
important. If they said "highway", they might be from the east, 
but if they used the wrong wording it could be because English 
isn't their first language. Gwen says she didn't notice 
anything wrong with their English. Jack grumbles that she 
wouldn't. "You're Welsh. You wouldn't notice if the vowels were 
missing." Ha. She tells him to shove it. After a pause, he asks 
if she has a gun on her. She says they made her leave it 
behind. She says he might as well give up because if there was 
a way out of this situation she would have thought of it by 
now.

Jack thinks for a minute and tries a new tactic. He claims he 
could use his wrist strap to find Anwen and rescue her. He says 
right now it is coded to his DNA or anything close to his DNA 
like however many children he has neglected to mention before. 
If they recode it to her DNA... Gwen snaps at him to not use 
her daughter as leverage at first, but then quickly breaks 
down, crying at the idea of being able to save her. Then she 
realizes she'd have to pull over and untie him to do it and her 
face hardens again. "You bastard. Nice try." The person on the 
contact lens feed comes back to type "he always lies" and she 
snorts that whoever this person is they CLEARLY know him.

Back in the 20s, Jack and Angelo are brought to some gangster 
cliche who Angelo knows somehow. He exposits to Jack that his 
name is Sal Maranzano. Sal is pissed that they was going to 
undercut him in the underground liquor business. Jack says they 
found an "untapped resource". Sal sneers that there's a rumor 
going around that the two of them are "finocchi" which...I'm 
unsure of my 20s gangster slang, so I'm not sure if he means 
"gay" or "fucking", but I guess that's a small distinction. 
Jack smirks that that's not so much a "rumor" as a "boast".
   Chrissy: Have you seen how hot we are? I mean come on.
Jack adds that if he was really upset about small time 
competition to his business, they would have killed them 
already, so they must be here for another reason. Sal isn't so 
sure about that. He orders his goons to take them somewhere and 
kill them. Jack, unfazed, says he should give them a chance 
because "you need men like us, off the grid. Men who could 
never be traced back to you." They are willing and able to do 
any weird, dangerous job he needs done. Sal agrees easily and 
gives them a trial job: vaguely describing a box that needs to 
find its way from one warehouse to another and if they can do 
that WITHOUT LOOKING INSIDE IT then maybe they have an 
agreement. Jack swears they can do that and they are let go.

That night, Angelo watches Jack pack a suitcase. He asks if 
Jack is running away, then notices it's HIS things Jack is 
packing. Jack says yes, Angelo needs to go now because "there 
is a plan". Angelo yelps that he's not part of this plan of 
Jack's. He points out that Jack's hands are not as scarred as 
his, which he concludes means he's "tougher" and therefore 
perfectly capable of doing something potentially dangerous. 
Jack vaguely says Sal's people have stumbled onto something 
they shouldn't have and it's his job to stop them. So alien 
tech then. Angelo realizes this is something Jack has been 
planning for a while now and he played himself right into Sal's 
hands. He asks how long Jack has been planning it. Since he 
first came to America? Well, yes, that's a possibility. Jack 
tells Angelo he should just get out of town because these 
people are dangerous and he doesn't want to invite their wrath. 
Angelo asks who he's working for. The British government or 
that Torchwood thing he mentioned before? Jack throws a wad of 
money at him and instructs him to head west. He's handsome 
enough that he could make it in Hollywood. Angelo sneers that 
he's not letting Jack just send him away. Jack goes for a low 
blow, asking if that's because he wouldn't know how to get 
himself another man and isn't brave enough to figure it out. 
Yikes. Angelo asks if he really thinks he's with him because 
it's EASY. Jack says he knows because he can hear Angelo 
praying a rosary every fucking night, asking God for 
forgiveness. He goes on a rant about how if he's that upset 
about "just sex", imagine how furious his God would be if it 
was possible for two men to actually - gasp - fall in love with 
each other. That would be impossible. Ipso facto, Angelo can't 
stay with him. Angelo sneers and calls Jack an ass and an 
idiot. He reminds Jack that he grew up in a tiny village of 200 
people and now he's a bootlegger in New York City sharing a bed 
with a man. "You think any of your little secrets can change my 
life any more than it's already been changed?"
   Chrissy: Well...granted, but he's still trying to 
   protect you in case you haven't noticed.
He says he may feel guilt for the hot, dirty things they do to 
each other, but that hasn't stopped him from doing them, so...

Jack sags a little. Angelo adds that he likes to believe God is 
love and that maybe he is capable of loving him despite his 
sins. "That's blasphemy," Jack spits. Angelo says actually, 
it's Christianity. Yeah, well...maybe what Christianity is 
SUPPOSED to be. I think a lot has been lost in translation over 
the years. Jack slowly goes to unpack the things he was just 
packing. He says, tears starting to come to his eyes, that he 
has this friend...The Doctor...who always travels with a 
companion and he always thought that would be nice. Angelo 
smirks and says so he can stay then? 

And then we cut to them running into the warehouse with 
flashlights and Jack is wearing his coat. Jack uses his wrist 
strap to break a lock with some lasers and Angelo doesn't even 
flinch this time. Inside, Jack mutters to himself that ammonia 
refrigeration would be the best thing they had available in 
1927 and starts prying open the box that has chains around it. 
Angelo reminds him that they aren't supposed to look in the 
box. Jack gives him a look like 'please. Like I follow 
instructions'. He explains that somebody gave Sal a weapon of a 
sort to hold on to until after the state election and then he 
ship it to Albany. He says Sal isn't really sure what it is he 
has, but he's scared of it. He pries open the box, something 
that looks like a tentacle pokes out and Angelo squeaks that he 
can see why. Jack says it's a parasite. Sort of like a bug, but 
scarier. Angelo gets over his uncertainty and demands, with an 
eager grin, that Jack tell him more. Jack grins and says it's a 
"species of brainspawn treated as vermin on more than 150 
planets that I know of and valued as dinner on one other. It 
tastes like oysters."
   Chrissy: So exactly as disgusting as it looks. Cool.
   Diandra: I take it you don't like oysters then.
   Chrissy: Ew, no. Like sucking a big, salty booger off a 
    seashell.
   Diandra: So not too different from muscles then.
   Chrissy: No, muscles need to be pried from the shell and 
    taste like the parts of a chicken nobody in their right 
    mind would eat. Probably the anus.

Angelo gives him a grossed out look and Jack says well...it 
would have been rude to refuse. He leans far too close to the 
gripper on the end of the tentacle and explains that this part 
attaches to the brain of its host while it deposits its larvae. 
Then these sharp little worms drill their way through the 
brain, slowly driving the host insane over the course of many 
years. Whoever found this thing has hatched some plan to find a 
way to infect FDR, who is about to be elected governor. He 
wouldn't start going really crazy until his second presidential 
term.
   Chrissy: Uh-huh. So when did somebody sic one of these 
   on Trump then?
The result would be a destabilization of America and pulling 
out of the war and basically from that point you're in "Man in 
the High Castle" territory. Angelo, struggling to grasp all of 
this seeming nonsense, understands the gist of it: somebody is 
trying to change the future. Who would do that? The people up 
the ladder from Sal? Jack says no, they're just pawns too. This 
is the work of an alien group called the Trickster's Brigade. 

The parasite starts moving toward Angelo and he notes that Jack 
said it's safe to be around these things as long as it's 
cold...right? The creature rears back and hisses and Jack 
shoots it. Then he pours some blue acid stuff on it to dissolve 
the body and slams the lid on the box. Angelo is like okay, 
so...that's it right? Mission complete? Jack grins and says 
yep, they saved the world and nobody will ever know what almost 
happened. Angelo asks if he passed the test to be his companion 
or whatever. An alarm goes off and Jack is like yeah, sure, now 
RUN. 

They run outside and come to a wall. Jack boosts Angelo up over 
the top and Angelo turns to pull him up. Just as Jack grabs his 
hand, though, some cops come around the corner and shoot him. 
Angelo watches, horrified, as the first two bullets spin Jack 
around and the third snaps his head back so Angelo can see him 
go lifeless before he slumps to the ground. Angelo runs, but 
gets caught by a couple more officers. He screams insults at 
them in Italian as they wrestle him into a car.

Once everybody has cleared out, Jack, now forgotten, gasps 
awake, wipes the blood from his forehead and slinks away. 

Present. Gwen, still teary eyed, mumbles that this is on her. 
She caused it. She knew joining Torchwood was a bad idea from 
the beginning, but she just HAD to do it. Jack sighs like 'oh, 
this again' and says he's glad she joined them. She snorts and 
says the worst part is, after all the horror and bullshit 
they've seen, she still loved the job. She sobs as she says she 
kept apologizing to Rhys and Anwen about having to do it, but 
she still loved it. She knew things nobody else was privileged 
to know and she could tell herself that even when they lost 
people it was worth it because it was important and SHE 
survived so she must have been stronger somehow. She dissolves 
into snotty sobs as she repeats that it's all her fault. Jack 
starts to say he used to feel the same way about Torchwood and 
she snaps that that's what she's SAYING. She knows he's 
thinking she couldn't possibly turn him over to the enemy 
because she loves him too much. But for the sake of her 
daughter, she would gladly kill him herself.
   Chrissy: Yep. All mothers are monsters.

Jack says fine. He understands. But now that he's mortal again, 
he's going to cling to life with everything in his being and he 
loves her but he will rip her fucking face off before he will 
let her kill him. Gwen is like okay then. As long as we 
understand each other. They go silent for a bit, then she notes 
that this may be the most honest conversation they've ever had 
and she feels like she knows him better than ever now. Jack is 
like yeah, isn't that great. Right at the eleventh hour.

Sometime in 1928, Angelo is released from Sing Sing prison. 
He's wearing a suit and his hair is a little neater. Jack is 
waiting for him outside. When Angelo realizes who it is he 
freezes and looks back at the gate like maybe he can run back 
inside before the demon takes his soul or something. He babbles 
that he SAW Jack get shot in the head. "I saw the blood...I saw 
your body..." Jack, inept as ever at dealing with situations 
like this, leans toward him and asks suggestively if he wants 
to see it again. Angelo snaps at him to shut up. He saw him 
die! Jack sobers and says obviously he wasn't dead. He was 
faking it. He escaped to Los Angeles. Angelo repeats that he 
SAW Jack die. Jack grabs his hand and puts it over his heart, 
reminding him that he asked to know all his secrets. This is 
one of them. He says he came back for Angelo, which is 
something he's never done before.
   Chrissy: Oh, yes. Remind everyone just how many people 
    you've had casual sex with and abandoned. Nice.
   Diandra: Such a romantic.
He says he even managed to get them the room they had before. 
Angelo is still trying to process all of this. Jack guesses 
that he's not sure whether to hit him or kiss him. He offers to 
let him do both.
   Chrissy: What are you looking at me like that for? I 
   have no comment on that.

Back in the old room, Angelo rips Jack's shirt open and notes 
that he doesn't even have any scars. Jack moves in to kiss him 
and Angelo backs away. He says he doesn't know WHAT Jack is. 
Jack is like 'oh, come on baby. You know me. Now let's screw 
because you've been in prison for a year and you're probably 
really eager for it.' I'm barely paraphrasing. He falls back on 
the bed, pulling Angelo on top of him. They kiss and Angelo has 
a flashback of Jack getting shot in the head. He pulls a knife 
from somewhere and stabs Jack in the side. Jack yelps and asks 
what the hell he thinks he's doing. Angelo pins him down and 
accuses him of being the Devil because HE "seduces with 
confidence". He stabs Jack again in the chest and Jack goes 
limp. Angelo staggers back, shaking, and drops the knife. 

When Jack gasps back to life, the woman they bought the place 
from and her husband are there. She screams and crosses 
herself. He yells about Jack being the Devil too and lunges 
forward to stab him to death again. 

The next time Jack wakes, he is being strung up in some sort of 
butcher's cellar in front of a whole crowd of people. One woman 
is asking what he did. The old woman calls it a "Miracle". At 
one guy's prompting, one of the men shoots Jack. He slumps and 
Angelo looks away in disgust. This turns into a disturbing 
montage of everybody repeatedly stabbing Jack to death, 
collecting his blood and frantically making the sign of the 
cross every time he gasps back to life before stabbing him 
again.
   Chrissy: You know, I'd bet anything that he has dreamt 
    about being penetrated repeatedly by different men 
    while others watch, but it's usually a whole lot more 
    fun than this.
   Diandra: .................
   Chrissy: Hey, you're the one who was looking to me for a 
    comment earlier.
   Diandra: Like watching a train wreck. I knew it was 
    coming, but there wasn't a damn thing I could do to 
    stop it.

Some time later, Jack is alone with three men, who just stare 
at him and debate what he is, exactly and how much money they 
could get for him. They decide to claim equal ownership and 
shake on it right in front of the barely conscious Jack.

Present. Gwen has parked the truck in the middle of nowhere as 
the sun is just coming up. Or, as the chyron identifies: Mesa, 
California, USA at 5am. Do they really still need to specify 
that we're in the United States? Whatever. Jack babbles about 
how this is it and it's been a LONG time coming. Gwen, of all 
the possible questions one could ask an immortal from a future 
planet, asks what the most beautiful thing he's ever seen is. 
He sees through this and says he's not giving final speeches 
here. She says no, just this. A car approaches in the distance. 
He says he saw a "firebird" one time, which is literally made 
of fire and smaller than a hummingbird. It only lives for about 
a minute, during which time it turns all sorts of colors and 
glows so brightly that it's blinding. He says it disappears in 
the time it takes to close your eyes against the light, but 
"the image stays behind your eyelids for longer than it was 
alive." That's because your retinas are burned. You probably 
damaged your vision permanently.
   Chrissy: Nobody would ever mistake you for a romantic, 
   Dee.

Gwen, fighting back tears and failing miserably, demands he 
tell her another one. Because NOW she wants to hear all the 
things he never told her about his life. Such as: how many 
children does he have, exactly? Instead of acknowledging this 
perfectly legitimate question, he points out that he's lived a 
VERY long time and he can't possibly tell her everything.
   Chrissy: So you don't know is what you're saying.
   Diandra: Yeah, probably only the ones he personally 
    birthed. 
   Chrissy: Ugh. I keep forgetting about the 'he can get 
    pregnant' thing. Trust you to keep reminding me.
   Diandra: I read a lot of fanfics that brought it up.
   Chrissy: I bet you did.

Gwen says that's a consolation at least, right? He's had more 
lifetimes than any human ever. Jack starts losing it now as he 
says it's still not enough and he doesn't want to die. "I 
know," Gwen whispers.

And back to 1928. Jack is curled on the floor. Angelo is 
babbling apologies as he unties him. He says he couldn't stop 
them. They just went crazy with some sort of blood lust or 
something and it scared him. Jack asks, slurring a little, if 
Angelo is going to take his wrist strap. Angelo says he could 
have taken it anytime and hands him a towel, ordering him to 
clean himself up a little. Jack sits up and Angelo wipes blood 
from his feet as he explains that he was able to convince the 
guard watching him to look the other way. Jack asks who those 
three men making some sort of deal over him were. Angelo has no 
idea what he's talking about and starts helping him change 
clothes.

As they're running back to the apartment, Angelo explains that 
there's a train leaving for the West Coast tonight and they can 
go to Los Angeles together. Jack climbs up to the roof, 
belatedly explaining that he left something up there. He pulls 
his long coat out of a vent and grins as he puts it on. Angelo 
is like 'okay, can we go NOW?' Jack says yeah, he's going, but 
not with Angelo. Which can't be a surprising revelation to 
anybody given the last few scenes. Angelo babbles that he's 
sorry and he was scared and some of those people were saying 
Jack was the devil and others were saying he was a blessing 
and... Jack gives a somewhat cryptic explanation of his 
immortality: in another time and place far, far away "time 
itself changed me to a fixed point". He says he does suffer and 
die, but he keeps coming back. He's seen a lot of Earth's past 
and future and it's possible he will never truly die. Angelo, 
ever short-sighted, asks if they are together in the future. 
Jack says they can't be because one day Angelo will die and he 
won't. 
   Chrissy: Also because you're an unpredictable lunatic 
    who might try to kill me again.
   Diandra: Yeah, I find it distressing that THAT isn't the 
    main problem here.

Angelo suggests they forget about the future then and make the 
present count. He alludes to the nonsense Jack was saying in 
the church about making promises and not worrying about 
tomorrow. Jack snaps at him to not do this. Angelo whines that 
Jack is lonely too and he SAID he wanted a companion and Angelo 
can't just let him go. "I could travel this whole wide world, 
but where would I find another man like you?"
   Chrissy: Well, yes. Technically there is only one Jack 
   Harkness in the universe and THANK GOD FOR THAT.
Angelo begs him not to leave. Jack says he's sorry, really, but 
"this is the story of my life."
   Chrissy: The Doctor is technically immortal too, right?
   Diandra: I'm just going to skip ahead to answering the 
    question I assume you're thinking and say yes, 
    basically every iteration of the Doctor has gone 
    through some variation of this discussion with 
    companions.

Jack says that story always ends the same way. Men like Angelo 
always wind up killing him. Or, you know, he winds up killing 
them because they follow him right into a deadly situation.
   Chrissy: Yeah, I could have done without the subtle 
   reminder of what happened to Ianto, thanks.
He steps up onto the ledge and jumps.
   Chrissy: You know, I'm starting to think the British 
    just have a thing for getting guys in long coats to 
    jump of buildings.
   Diandra: Speaking of reminders we could totally have 
    done without...but yeah, there's a running joke that 
    the BBC has, like, ten actors, two writers and one 
    wardrobe closet. They tend to reuse a lot of things.
Angelo screams and runs to the ledge to see Jack sprawled on 
the pavement. He runs down the stairs, chanting "no no no no 
no" the whole way, but by the time he reaches ground level 
there's just a pool of blood in the spot where Jack was.

Present. The SUV that was approaching finally arrives and two 
guys who are obviously bodyguards/security escort a woman out 
of the passenger seat. Gwen nervously asks if Jack knows her. 
He says no. The woman approaches, thanking Gwen for appearing 
to have followed the instructions she was given. She greets 
Jack as "the last mortal man" and says it's been a "long 
journey". 
   Chrissy: Tell me about it.
   Diandra: Oh, shush.
Before she can say anything, a red dot appears on the forehead 
of one of her goons and then somebody gives a warning shot into 
the ground. Sigh. Gwen panics and notes that the red dot is now 
on the woman's chest, but she has no idea who is doing this or 
why.

Up on the grassy knoll, Rex cocks his riffle and mutters 
"gotcha". Esther is right next to him with some sighting 
equipment. 

We flash back to the moments after Gwen took Jack from NewHub. 
Esther gets an alert of some sort that somebody is blocking the 
signal to the spy contact lenses. She pulls up the log and, 
after the messages from Jack, sees the instructions from 
"unknown". She pulls Rex over to look at it. Rex asks if they 
can track them. 

So now that we're caught up...Rex asks if Esther is ready. She 
says yes and taps on her phone. 

Down on the ground, Jack is catching on to what's going on here 
and reassures Gwen that this woman won't have her daughter for 
much longer. He tells the woman that unless she wants to become 
a Category 1, she should probably do what they say. The woman 
puts her hands up and her goons drop their guns. Gwen unties 
Jack and they grab the guns. Rex relays this to Esther, who 
says "go, go go" into her phone. 

In Wales, a tactical team of at least a dozen men burst into 
the house where Gwen's family are being held and take out the 
apparently one guy left to watch over them. Andy comes into the 
room with them to assure them that everything is okay now. 
"Took your bloody time," Mum complains. 
   Chrissy: You know, as long as Rhys and Anwen are okay, I 
   don't think Gwen would be TOO upset if something were to 
   happen to her mother.
The guy on the ground starts moving and Andy shoots him again, 
pausing to note shakily that he's never actually shot anyone 
before. Rhys asks where Gwen is. 

California. USA. North America. Earth. Esther and Rex come down 
to meet them and Esther tells Gwen that her family is safe. 
Gwen collapses in her arms in relief. Rex grumbles that next 
time she should just ASK FOR HELP instead of this amateur 
bullshit they keep trying to pull. Gwen runs over to hug him 
and kiss his cheek, much to his dismay, I'm sure. Jack gives 
his gun to Esther and goes to face the mystery woman. Gwen 
sidelines him to hug him to, but not before reminding him that 
she meant every word she said back in the SUV. He says he did 
too and they have a really awkward, quick hug before they turn 
to face the woman, Gwen hissing vague threats. Jack demands to 
know who she is before he sics Gwen on her. The woman says 
nothing has changed and he will still be coming with her. He'll 
WANT to because she can take him to the man who knows how The 
Miracle came to be.  "Angelo Colasanto. He's waiting for you, 
Jack. He's been waiting for such a very long time." Yeah, we 
should introduce him to the Ponds. I have a feeling they'd find 
they have a lot in common.
   Chrissy: ....who...
   Diandra: I'll explain later.

Jack makes fish faces as we cut to the credits.