Date Finished: 6/17/26
Rating: R
Keywords: Jonathan Pine/Teddy Dos Santos, Slash, Spoilers: Probably no
Disclaimer: I am a fanfiction writer. Clearly I would never be allowed to
write these characters for actual money.
Summary: "Everything is trust. A leap of faith."
Author's Notes: There's a couple details here that I got from the book
including LeCarre's description of Roper's "dolphin smile". Otherwise, I'm
mostly just putting everything from the back half of the season in a blender
still, plotting a course through events that takes into account the changes
I've been making in previous installments. Thank you to everybody who is
putting up with my insanity here. I never meant for this to go on as long as
it has, but my muse doesn't seem to know when to shut up.
---
Faith
---
'You will be in so deep you'll worry you'll never get out of it,' Angela
warned Jonathan a decade ago. At the time, he had seen it as a challenge. As
a night manager, he had become adept at playing roles, becoming whoever and
whatever guests needed him to be. He felt certain he could immerse himself
however long was needed for Project Limpet and still come out the other end
with his wits intact. And he was right. Sort of.
Then he spent five years burying Jonathan Pine beneath the mask of Alex
Goodwin. Gradually forgetting who he used to be. Only to be suddenly thrust
back into the life Angela had groomed him for, those five years of work
unraveled in days.
But as he let the son of the worst man in the world take him apart, he
wondered if he'd ever really known who Jonathan Pine was in the first place.
Surely Jonathan Pine would not have allowed himself to be so vulnerable.
Would not have allowed sex to be weaponized against him. Would not be so
shaken to his core by the tender touches, the sweet kisses, the earnest
endearments...
'Corazon...'
He wondered if he was having a midlife crisis. If feeling lost, adrift, as
if his entire life up to that moment had been a lie, was normal for a man in
his forties still somehow learning who he is and what he is capable of.
'You are mine. And I protect what is mine.'
Teddy didn't say the words with any measure of malice, or even victory over
a successful conquest. It was an open, honest statement of a simple fact,
while dark eyes conveyed additional sentiments he had never felt for anyone
before. A depth of connection he had never had with any human being. His
instincts made him want to become whoever Teddy needed him to be, but he
hadn't anticipated that Teddy would want him to just be himself. Wouldn't
even care about who he had been. His name no longer mattered. No longer
defined him.
He doesn't know if he will ever be the same after this. The shift he'd felt
within himself had been so seismic, so profound. He doesn't think he can
ever find his way back to whoever he had once been. Teddy has stripped him
down to his soul and remade him anew. He wants to stay like this forever,
sated body intertwined with Teddy's, deft fingers soothing him, lips
whispering reassurances into his skin, forget that there is a world beyond
this bed. But the world isn't that kind.
"We should go over the plan for tomorrow."
"Shh," Teddy murmurs into his temple, kissing him with aching tenderness. As
if Jonathan is made of glass. "Later. We have time."
Jonathan wishes that were true. Wishes he could just sink fully into Teddy,
become absorbed by him. Leave Jonathan Pine behind entirely. But he cannot
wish away the dangers closing in on them. He cannot rest while Richard Roper
still breathes free air.
"We need a contingency plan. In case Roper finds out I'm still alive."
Teddy sighs softly. "I will tell him you escaped. That I did not tie you
tightly enough."
It's as good a plan as any. And it would allow Teddy some grace in his
failure to execute Jonathan.
'When you've slain the dragon, always check its breath.'
"Okay," Jonathan agrees. "But you need to make him believe that I failed to
turn you against him. That you love him and your loyalty cannot be shaken.
He must still be the man in the black car that you adored. He cannot doubt
your devotion to him."
Teddy's jaw tightens. He presses his palm to the small of Jonathan's back,
grounding them both, and nods.
---
He senses the plan is about to go wrong even before Teddy calls him the next
morning.
"How are we doing," he answers hopefully, praying he's just being paranoid.
But Teddy wouldn't be using the burner phone if all was well.
"Juan knows you are alive," Teddy says quickly, his voice low enough to be
covered by the sound of running water in the background. "He is telling
Roper that I have been compromised."
"Fuck," Jonathan breathes. He gestures at Sally, working across the room,
and she wordlessly picks up her headphones to listen in on the call. "Okay.
We need a new plan." His mind races to try to gather the scraps of the old
one into something workable. "Tell him...you seduced me. That I've been
sabotaging the British government's plan since that night in Cartagena. That
I went rogue and convinced my people I was dead and I have been helping you
ever since."
The skeptical look Sally shoots him matches Teddy's tone. "You think he will
believe that?"
"I think I can make him believe it. Have him call me. I will hand myself
over." He holds up a hand to stave off the protest he knows Sally is about
to make. "In order for this to work, I may have to hurt you and you will
almost certainly have to hurt me. I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"
'Everything is trust...'
"Con mi vida," Teddy finally says.
With my life.
Jonathan swallows the lump forming in his throat with the weight of
responsibility he is taking on. The safety of all of them depends on his
performance. "Sally will answer this number from now on. Keep this phone
close, but don't let anybody see it. Be careful, Eduardo."
"You too...Jonathan."
He works out with Sally how the operation needs to go now and what their
roles will become while they wait. Not for the first time, Jonathan realizes
how difficult this job Angela handled ten years ago is. And he thinks he
understands why she still felt the need, years later, to protect him.
When his phone finally rings again, the screen displays Teddy's own number.
Jonathan waits for Sally to tap into the line and takes a deep breath before
answering.
"Hey," he says warmly, feigning ignorance.
Silence. And then a voice that makes a cold spike of fear run through him
even though he fully expected to hear it fills Jonathan's ear.
"Oh, you beauty," Richard Roper purrs. "You *are* trouble."
"Richard," he says numbly. "Where is Teddy?"
"Oh, he's right here. Just finished telling me all about this recent change
of heart you've had. Of course, I told him you've a history of saying
anything...doing anything...*killing* anyone to save your own skin. But he
insisted I have a little chat with you."
"I'm sure even you realize how love can make a man question his
allegiances."
Roper chuckles. "Oh, you don't LOVE him. You snared him in your trap just as
you did my American sweetheart in Majorca. Ever the big game hunter, aren't
you, Jonathan? Always the prize trophy. Always with the claim of love and
nobility when really you are just hell bent on plunging a stake into my
fucking heart and you don't care who you leave as collateral damage in the
process."
"Just because you are incapable of love doesn't mean the rest of us can't
feel it. I loved Jed and I love Teddy." The sincerity of the sentiment
surprises Jonathan even as the words leave his mouth. "I was willing to make
a deal with you to save Jed. And I made Teddy keep our arrangement a secret
because I didn't want you to hurt him like you hurt her."
"Oh, now why would I do that? Unless of course this is just a ploy to get to
me and muck up my operation. How's Angela, by the way? Is she with you? And
that lovely daughter of hers, still in France?"
"Angela Burr's got nothing to do with this. She is a coward."
"Well, that's a bit harsh."
"She lied to me. She made me who I am. I killed for her. She made me into
her own personal weapon in her crusade to destroy you and then when it
became too much for her, she called it off and didn't even trust me enough
to tell me why." He can feel Sally's eyes on him. She has read the file on
Limpet. She knows how much trust and love he had for Angela. And how much of
the hurt he's leveraging now is real.
There is a long pause. As if Roper is weighing his words, judging their
sincerity. "So what? Mummy dearest so shook your faith in the cause that
you've changed your allegiance? Or are we back to convincing me that my son
is so good in bed that he inspired a slavish loyalty in you?"
"I'm just tired of fighting you, Richard. Tired of fighting the world. I
want to be done with it."
Jonathan all but holds his breath in the long pause that follows, hoping he
was convincing enough, terrified of what might happen if he wasn't.
Roper hums thoughtfully. "Come to La Estancia. I trust you know how to find
it. I have an offer for you, but I would prefer to make it in person. Come
alone. The guards are authorized to shoot anyone else they see with you."
Sally's wide eyes meet Jonathan's. Jonathan gives her a weak, reassuring
smile. "Okay. I'll see you soon."
"Looking forward to it. I missed that smile," Roper says with such menace
that Jonathan feels dirty.
"I hope you know what you're doing," Sally mutters after Roper rings off.
"So do I," Jonathan admits.
---
'We who are about to die,' Jonathan thinks as he pulls up to Roper's villa.
He feels vulnerable. Underprepared for what may be the most important battle
of his life.
Roper greets him at the front gate, flanked by Francis "Frisky" Inglis and
another guard Jonathan doesn't recognize.
"Take his phone. Make sure he's not wearing a wire."
Jonathan doesn't protest as Frisky carries out Roper's order. He keeps his
expression carefully blank while he mentally notes that Roper clearly
doesn't realize he doesn't need to bring in any listening devices. They are
already inside. Not that it matters. However this meeting goes, Sally is
under strict orders to focus on Teddy and the cargo drop. Even if Jonathan
is captured or killed. He is flying without a net.
Once he is satisfied, Roper greets him warmly, with his dolphin smile and a
handshake that is just short of bruising, making it clear to Jonathan that
he holds all the power here.
"You look older," Jonathan says lightly as he sits on a sofa in the veranda.
Roper's laugh at that is genuine. "Certainly wiser," he retorts. He sits
opposite Jonathan, slouching into the cushions, legs spread in a blatant
display of male dominance.
"Where's Teddy," Jonathan asks innocently, as if he doesn't already know
that Teddy and Juan are on their way to meet the Cabreras.
"Oh, come on. You're not really going to keep pretending you care about him,
are you? You've got what you wanted. You're here now. You can drop this
lovesick schoolboy act."
"It's not an act. I may have tried to seduce Teddy for tactical reasons at
first, but he is too loyal. And despite your influence, deep down he is a
good man."
"Ah. And you believe you can convince him to join your noble cause. Is that
it?"
"No. I already told you I'm tired of fighting you-"
"Yes yes yes," Roper interrupts. "I know what you *said*. The problem is
that I just don't believe you. I've seen the fire in your eyes. The
determination. I tried to free you of the shackles of conscience and shame,
but you were just too virtuous." He says the word like it is distasteful.
Offensive to his personal sensibilities. "Stubbornly determined to uphold
your father's principles even if it leads to the same pointless end."
Jonathan takes deep breaths, forcing himself to remain calm, but Roper sees
a flash of his true feelings in his eyes.
"Ah, there you are," he chortles. "See, I could believe that you'd had a
change of heart. That you decided to rebel against a system that betrayed
you. Hell, I'd even believe that sex with Teddy was so good that it gave you
an almost religious experience and forced you to reconcile all your
previously held convictions. But I just can't believe you are capable of
simply...giving up the fight."
Jonathan channels all of his rage into his clenched fists, keeping his face
neutral. "So why am I here? Why not just kill me?"
"Well, I tried that already, obviously. I suppose I could find someone
immune to your charms, but I've come to realize I have an inexplicable
affection for you. I don't really want you dead. So I have an offer for you.
You and whoever you've got helping you meddle in this operation will leave.
Disappear. In exchange, I will wire fifty million dollars to whatever
account you choose. You can even take Teddy with you. You can walk away a
free man."
"I'm not the one whose freedom is contingent on paying off a Syrian debt."
"Oh, that's as good as done," Roper blusters. "We both know this deal will
generate far more than 300 million. As for your freedom, I suppose I should
clarify..."
The guard hovering behind the sofa suddenly loops his arm around Jonathan's
neck, wrenching him backward in a chokehold. He gasps and gurgles, clawing
at the man blindly.
"Either you walk away a free man or you don't walk away at all," Roper
finishes calmly. "Your choice."
Jonathan strains against the guard's hold. The man lets go suddenly and he
slumps forward, gasping shakily.
"Before you make your decision you should know two things," Roper continues.
"The first is that my offer is real. Fifty million. No strings. You will
never have to see or hear from me again. The second is that if somehow this
plan of yours works and Teddy does betray me...I will not hesitate to put a
bullet in his head."
'If you really love him, you will walk away and save him' is the obvious
subtext. But Teddy will never be safe from him.
"Fuck you," Jonathan spits.
Roper sighs dramatically. "Yes, I suspected as much. Frisky?"
Jonathan barely has time to register the movement before Roper's trusted
guard is beside him, his meaty fist colliding with Jonathan's face so hard
he is knocked sideways. He is too dazed to fight as he is pinned to the sofa
on his stomach, his arms wrenched behind his back and zip-tied in place.
"Find out who's helping him," Roper orders. "And do try to keep the blood
off the sofa. Don't want poor Fatima to have to clean that up."
---
Blood is thicker than water.
It was an expression his father used often when Teddy was a boy. But like
most who used that truncated version, he misunderstood its true meaning and
used it to teach Teddy to value family over all others.
It wasn't until he was in his twenties that Teddy heard the full expression
and realized it meant the opposite of that. The blood of the covenant is
thicker than the water of the womb. The bonds you choose - the ones forged
in blood - are more powerful than genetic obligation.
He has been thinking about this a lot these past few days. Roper is so
confident that Teddy's loyalty to him will preclude any feelings toward - as
Juan once called him - his "papacito Inglés". But while his relationship
with Jonathan began on a foundation of lies, once the "Matthew" identity
fell away, they began forming a powerful bond.
And now they faced the possibility that Roper could use that bond to destroy
them both.
'I may have to hurt you and you will almost certainly have to hurt me...'
Teddy didn't really know what that bodyguard of Roper's had done to his
girlfriend nearly a decade ago, but Jonathan did. And he knew that in
"handing himself over" to Roper, he would likely suffer the same fate.
'Do you know what he did...how he beat and tortured a woman he claimed to
love?'
Teddy kept replaying Jonathan's words in his head, his guilt turning the
repetition into a sort of penance.
'He's sacrificing himself for you.'
Teddy knew it wasn't just about him. That Jonathan would consider stopping
Roper from killing millions worth the price. But submitting himself to
whatever horrors Roper could inflict wasn't the sum total of the plan. He
was trusting Teddy to handle his former role in the operation in his place
while he convinced Roper that they weren't trying to stop him. Teddy didn't
know if Jonathan's trust in him was justified, but he knew he had to make
his sacrifice count for something.
He overcompensated with Juan, blustering about what a typical, stuffy
English asshole "Matthew" was. How he'd needed a Latin lover to loosen him
up, fuck him so thoroughly that he could forget all about his former
loyalties just so he could have another ride. Which wasn't that far from the
truth, honestly, but Juan didn't buy it.
Then Juan said Roper didn't buy it either. That he knew Teddy was
susceptible to the pretty blue-eyed boy's charms and that was why his plans
had started pushing Teddy to the sidelines. But Teddy knew Roper's plan was
to push him out eventually all along. So did Juan. In fact, Juan said Teddy
was the only one too stupid to not have realized it long ago. That Teddy was
Roper's boy when it was convenient, but he would never really be Roper's
son.
Blood and water.
When he has to stop for Juan to take a piss and - no doubt - do a bump of
coke, Teddy is tempted to "accidentally" back the car over him. But it would
be too suspicious. And despite Juan's crimes, Teddy doesn't really want to
kill him. He isn't a good man, but he has not done anything to deserve
death.
Teddy checks the burner phone while he waits. Sally has sent him a sound
file. He makes sure Juan is well out of earshot first before he plays it.
"Either you walk away a free man or you don't walk away at all," his father
menaces. "Your choice." There are sounds of a struggle and then he hears
Jonathan gasp raggedly and cough. "Before you make your decision you should
know two things," Roper continues. "The first is that my offer is real.
Fifty million. No strings. You will never have to see or hear from me again.
The second is that if somehow this plan of yours works and Teddy does betray
me...I will not hesitate to put a bullet in his head."
Teddy's fingers tremble as he grips the phone tightly enough that the casing
threatens to crack. Jonathan was right. His father doesn't love him. He
probably doesn't even love his precious Danny. He only sees them as pawns in
the deranged game of chess he is playing. They are all pawns.
"Fuck you," Jonathan spits angrily and Teddy feels pride swell in his chest.
No, Jonathan isn't a pawn. He's a more powerful piece. One willing to
sacrifice himself to ensure victory. To protect a piece deemed more
valuable. Although Teddy can't image anyone could be more valuable.
The recording stops there abruptly. He knows Sally won't tell him what
happened after that even if he asks. Jonathan had ordered them to focus on
the mission no matter what happens to him, knowing they would be able to
hear everything. Teddy feels useless, forced to stay away and pretend he
doesn't know that the man he promised to protect is being tortured. It makes
him want to crawl out of his skin.
"Por favor, misericordioso Dios," he mutters quietly. "Pongo todo en tus
maños. Confío en tu amor y perdona..." [Please, merciful God, I place
everything in Your hands. I trust in Your love and forgiveness.]
He runs a finger over the scars on his arm in various stages of healing,
stopping on the newest one. The cut he opened when he failed to carry out
his father's orders to destroy the man he now desperately wants to save. He
wants to reopen it now, attempt to strike some sort of bargain with God.
'Let me take some of his pain.'
"Por favor, no lo castigue por mis pecados. Protégelo. Dale fuerza. Por
favor, Señor, déjalo vivir." [Please, do not punish him for my sins.
Protect him. Give him strength. Please, Lord, let him live.]
---
Jonathan was lucky he had never needed to use his training for surviving
torture before. He had been fortunate enough to never be captured while in
possession of information the enemy was desperate to pry out of him. Not
that intelligence is the point now, really. Frisky, the other man Frisky
called "Gus" and especially Roper when he was present went through the
motions of asking questions, but Jonathan suspected they didn't care if he
answered them or not. It was a dance. They inflicted pain, waited for him to
stop screaming, asked him perfunctory questions about who he was working
with. Lather, rinse, repeat.
He thought about Sophie's dark hair spilled across the pillow, Teddy's
soulful eyes boring into his as he vowed to protect what was "his", anything
to distract himself from the throbbing pain of his broken hand and battered
face. He spent the periods of respite between beatings visualizing the pain
being converted into energy he could store for use when the opportunity
presented itself.
He lay curled in a fetal position, instinctively trying to protect his groin
from damage already done by a vicious kick, when Roper ordered Frisky to get
him up and make him "presentable." The picture Roper had shown him years ago
of Jed, her face bruised and bloodied, haunted him. He suspected his own
face was in far worse condition now as Roper hadn't instructed Frisky to
avoid damaging it too badly. He didn't need it to remain intact for any
buyers this time. They didn't need him at all, Frisky insisted when he put
the barrel of the gun in Jonathan's mouth. It was only after the trigger was
pulled that Jonathan realized it had never been loaded. He suspected
Frisky's claim was a lie - that Roper had actually ordered him kept alive -
but it didn't matter. The logical part of his brain would not engage while
the rest of him was convinced he was about to die.
Jonathan could only see with the eye not swollen shut, but he was sure he
saw something on Roper's face as he was dragged upright. Disgust, possibly a
bit of horror at his state, but mostly disappointment. As if his hope that
he could win over Jonathan's soul was only now crumbling into dust. In that,
the reluctant spy found a small measure of victory.
---
His hands are zip tied together, even though he's pretty sure they don't
expect him to try anything. His right hand is all but useless and the damage
to his head and torso makes any sudden movements visibly painful. He's
pretty sure at least one of his ribs is broken. He swallows whimpers as he
is jostled along the uneven path into the jungle in the dark.
He is so focused on managing the pain that it takes him a moment to register
that they have arrived at the edge of the camp and another to register the
fury on the face of the man who greets them.
"What the hell is this," Teddy demands. "I told you, his people think he's
dead!"
"Oh, bollocks," Roper says casually. "You shouldn't let your dick do all
your thinking for you. It's always more trouble than it's worth."
Teddy is standing in front of him suddenly, gripping his chin and forcing
Jonathan to look at him. Jonathan takes stock of him as much as he can
through one bleary eye - the trembling in his fingers, the hardness of his
gaze, full of concern and barely contained rage.
Jonathan blinks three times rapidly, the signal they agreed on to indicate
he was fine and they should continue the mission. Then he pulls away from
the gentle grip with a soft "don't..."
Frisky snorts. "Yeah, might've loosened a couple teeth. He won't be suckin'
any dick for a while."
Teddy starts to turn toward Frisky but Jonathan makes a soft noise to pull
his attention back, shaking his head subtlely. 'Don't let them use me
against you.'
Roper's attention turns to the men talking by a fire at the center of the
camp. Jonathan thinks he recognizes the Cabreras talking to Juan.
"What do you want me to do with him, boss," Frisky asks.
Roper looks at Jonathan, clearly annoyed by the reminder of his continued
presence. "Put him someplace quiet. And watch him."
"Over here," Teddy says, gently taking the arm Frisky isn't holding in a
bruising grip and guiding Jonathan toward a small wooden hut. He doesn't
resist. He tries vainly to swallow any further sounds of pain that try to
slip from his throat, not wanting to worry Teddy. His failure is underlined
by Teddy's repeated murmurs of "lo siento." [I'm sorry.]
"It's okay," Jonathan moans. "It's not your fault." He wants to say it in
Spanish, but he doubts Frisky would understand the words and he doesn't want
Roper's loyal guard thinking they are trading secret messages behind Roper's
back.
He falls into a chair in the middle of the bare enclosure and lets Teddy
inspect his face and hand without protest, greedily taking comfort from the
soft touch after hours of abuse. Fingers smooth his hair back and he wonders
just how disarrayed it looks. It doesn't matter. He squeezes Teddy's wrist
surreptitiously with his good hand. Three times.
Teddy nods, his jaw clenched, and leans in to press a kiss to his forehead.
"Te amo," he breathes so quietly Jonathan doubts Frisky can even hear it.
Jonathan pretends he doesn't hear it either, but his breath catches in his
throat and he tries to convey the sentiment back silently as their eyes meet
before Teddy turns to leave.
I love you.
He childishly wants to reach for Teddy and beg him to stay. To try some
crazy escape to prevent Roper from turning this fragile new emotion into a
weapon to wield against the man. But he can't. All he can do is watch as
Teddy brushes past the smirking guard and pray to a god he isn't sure he
believes in anymore.
'Please. Keep him safe.'
---
"Have faith."
It was the last thing Jonathan said to him when Teddy left him alone at the
hotel last night. The last time Teddy saw him before Roper had his beaten
body dragged into the Cabrera's camp. He channeled all the horror he felt at
the confirmation of everything Jonathan had suffered since they last spoke
into pure rage, going on offense and snapping at Roper for not trusting him.
Not believing him.
He wonders when he stopped thinking of Roper as his father. But sitting
across the campfire from him, meeting his accusing stare, he realized the
man had never really been a father in any real sense. He was every bit the
monster that Jonathan made him out to be. Who but a monster would use his
child's lover against him? Beat him bloody and then point to his abused body
and demand that child do his bidding *or else*?
He wants to end it now. Put a bullet in Roper's brain. Take Jonathan and run
far away where no one can hurt them ever again. But he can't. Not yet. He
can only risk getting them both killed if he doesn't follow the plan. For
now, all he can do is stare silently at the man he used to think the world
of and refuse to give him the satisfaction of thinking he has won.
"I ever tell you about Major Corkoran? He was a good man. He tried to warn
me about Jonathan Pine, but I didn't listen. This despite the fact that he
desperately wanted to take that boy to bed. Maybe the fact that Jonathan was
so fixated on Jed and seemingly uninterested in men kept him lucid enough to
see what was really going on. How Jonathan can charm his way into one's
confidence. Get people to give him information they don't even realize they
have." He sighs dramatically. "If it's any consolation, I was once
susceptible to him myself. I treated him like a member of the family. He
killed Corkey and tried to convince me *he* was the real traitor. And he had
Jed help him plant evidence to support his story. That's the sort of man he
is. He charms people into helping him get what he wants. If you're lucky,
like Jed, he will simply fail to follow through on any of the things he
promised in a post-coital haze. If you're unlucky, though..."
"I told you, he didn't seduce me," Teddy practically growls. "I seduced him.
I made him fall in love with me."
Roper snorts. "He doesn't LOVE you. He's known you for less than a week. No,
whether you choose to believe it or not, he is manipulating you. You can't
possibly believe that it's a coincidence that he chose you. My son. Just as
I'm about to be free of those men he handed me over to; to treat with far
less consideration than I afforded him, by the way. He's using you to finish
the job he started. Have to admire that about him, really. Always trying to
clean up his loose ends."
A couple days ago, Teddy wouldn't have known who to trust. Because Jonathan
did, in fact, lie to him. Seduce him. Use him to try to get to "Gilberto
Hanson." He even admitted to it. But now, everything has changed. And it
horrifies him to think of how close he came to ending the life of the best
thing that has ever happened to him just to try to earn the respect of a man
who would never love him.
'I will not hesitate to put a bullet in his head.'
Blood and water.
A burst of static emits from the two way radio on the other side of the
camp. The pilot of the plane carrying Roper's weapon. Juan picks it up to
relay the coordinates of the drop point.
Everything is in motion. He can't stop it now. He just has to put his faith
in their plan.
'You will die tonight,' he thinks. 'DAD.'
---
Jonathan pretends he doesn't hear the lewd, suggestive jokes Juan and the
Cabreras make about Teddy's "little English whore" as he is bundled into the
jeep that will take him to the drop site. He doesn't know if the commentary
continues during the ride as swallowing the pain caused by the rough
jostling over bumpy terrain consumes all of his focus. By the time the
vehicle stops, he thinks he might vomit or pass out or both.
Somehow he manages to do neither as he is dragged from the car and
manhandled toward the clearing just behind Roper and Teddy. He meets Teddy's
concerned gaze and blinks three times. 'I'm okay. Focus on the mission.'
Juan is talking to the Cabreras as he lights torches, but Jonathan focuses
on Teddy, who is mid-argument with Roper.
"...after everything I've done, you still don't trust me?"
Roper snorts. "You know better than anyone that trust is a liability. Or you
should anyway." He glances at Jonathan. "I made the mistake of thinking I
had the upper hand nine years ago. I won't be doing that again. Everyone is
always eager to help Jonathan Pine and I'd wager whoever is doing it now
would hesitate to do anything rash if it risked him getting caught in the
crossfire."
An insurance plan and a loyalty test wrapped in one neat package, Jonathan
thinks as he enacts a contingency. He lets out a bitter laugh to attract
Roper's attention. "You still don't get it, do you? I'm not trying to stop
you anymore. I'm helping him. *I* wouldn't do anything that could risk
*him*. But you can't comprehend love. You think it's nothing but a tool that
can be used as a weapon, so I can't possibly love Teddy. I must be playing a
long game. Using him to get to you..."
Teddy is slow to respond. Reluctant. So Jonathan is able to get out more
words than he anticipated before the Colombian crosses the clearing and
drives a fist into his abdomen. The air is forced from his lungs with a
sharp yelp.
"Cállate, puta de chupaverga," Teddy spits. [Shut up, you cock-sucking
whore]
Juan laughs. Jonathan groans softly, simultaneously trying to convince Roper
that Teddy is willing to hurt him and Teddy that he can take it. Frisky
wrenches him back upright, but his grip is no longer as bruisingly tight,
confident that Jonathan won't try anything.
Roper sighs. "Relax, Eduardo. I am well acquainted with Jonathan Pine's
talent for seduction and I can't fault you for falling victim to him. But
you need to understand that it is all an act. He is always playing a role,
always lying. He hasn't fallen in love with you. He loves the danger. Sex
with another man's girl. With his own executioner. He needs the kick. When
the danger passes, the bloom will be off the rose."
"Teddy, please..." Jonathan counters feebly. He knows he should argue, but
deep down he's afraid Roper is right on this point. Would he love Teddy if
he wasn't Roper's son?
Probably not. Because if he wasn't Roper's son they never would have met.
Teddy is turned fully toward Roper. "I am not like that naive woman nine
years ago. I know exactly who he is," he says calmly.
Juan mutters something in Spanish that Jonathan doesn't catch. But Teddy's
quick response is clear.
"Te jodan, cabrón." [Fuck you, asshole]
The sound of an airplane engine in the distance disrupts the private quiet
of the jungle. Jonathan's breath quickens. This was not the plan. Teddy was
supposed to give the wrong coordinates, redirecting the plane and the
Cabreras would think Roper had swindled them when they failed to get their
weapon.
"Teddy," he says, his voice laden with apprehension. "What..."
"I know what he tried to do," Teddy continues, not taking his eyes off
Roper. "I let him believe he succeeded, but he has achieved nothing.
Everything is as we planned."
Jonathan's body instinctively prepares for battle. He twists his already
bruised wrists within the confines of the zip tie. To everyone else, it
should look like futile attempts to free himself, but he is actually
positioning the tie to make it easier to break. His mind races all the
while. 'Did the plan change or is he really double crossing us?' Could Teddy
have really been that convincing?
The ground shakes when the shipping container touches down. Juan and Carlos
Cabrera are the first to reach it, along with a couple of the Cabreras' men.
"El arma est la," Carlos announces as Juan disappears inside the crate.
Roper's eyes travel between the obviously distressed spy and his son slowly,
reading the unspoken story of betrayal. A slow smile spreads on his face.
"As I promised, José," he smarms. "Frisky, why don't you go help our friends
with their present. We can handle Mr. Pine from here."
Jonathan feels his knees threaten to give out as the bodyguard lets go of
his arm. He is trembling with the terror that everything has just gone
horribly wrong and he only has minutes left to live. Just enough time to
fully grasp how comprehensively he has failed. Roper has won and millions
will die as a direct result.
"I just want to remind you that my offer was real, Jonathan. You could have
had the world. We could have done so much together."
Jonathan's vision starts to blur as tears fill his eyes. "You demand love
through tyranny, Richard," he spits. "It will only get you so far."
Roper smirks. "We'll see how far it gets me. Teddy, show him whose blood you
come from."
Teddy turns toward him slowly, drawing his gun. His lips are moving, but
Jonathan can't focus well enough to make out the prayer he must be reciting.
No doubt, asking for forgiveness for what he is about to do.
Time seems to slow down and yet several things happen at once. Juan yells
something, his voice tinged with alarm. Roper's phone dings with an incoming
text. He frowns at the screen as he pulls it from his pocket. And Teddy puts
enough breath behind the words he's speaking that Jonathan can suddenly make
it out.
"...nueve...ocho...sietze..."
He isn't praying. He's counting. Backward.
Time speeds up again once Teddy gets to five. Roper's eyes rise to meet
Jonathan's, burning with obvious fury. He draws his gun and starts to lift
it with the obvious intent of shooting Jonathan. But before he can take
proper aim, Teddy turns and fires his own gun. Roper slumps to the jungle
floor with a bullet in his forehead.
"...uno," Teddy finishes out loud.
An explosion emanates from inside the shipping container. Jonathan jolts
into action, using a sharp arm thrust to break the zip tie and reaching for
Teddy.
"Go," Teddy shouts, shoving him toward the tree line, following in a
sideways shuffle so he can keep firing as shots seem to erupt from
everywhere at once.
Jonathan almost collides with someone near the jungle's edge. A hand reaches
to catch him and a familiar voice shouts something in Spanish that Teddy
answers in kind. It's the kid Jonathan helped with the champagne bottle at
the Gala. Octavio. And suddenly he understands.
'Roper thinks he can use my Aurora charity to recruit his own personal
army,' Teddy told them when they discussed the operation. 'But they are
loyal to me.'
Octavio raises a rifle, turning back to the clearing and the ongoing battle
while Teddy abandons his own defensive fire and focuses on bundling Jonathan
into a nearby car. Another familiar face waits behind the wheel. Martin.
"Ahora! Vamos," Teddy barks as he closes the door behind them. Then he wraps
his hands around Jonathan's arm and Jonathan yelps, surprised by the pain.
He blinks stupidly at Teddy's hands, quickly becoming stained with blood.
When was he hit?
He thinks he might be going into shock.
Teddy and Martin are shouting things in rapid-fire Spanish to each other
that Jonathan's increasingly sluggish mind can't follow.
"Ya paso...it's okay... Jonathan! No te duermas...stay with me, Corazon!"
Teddy is jostling him, shaking him, voice rising sharply with alarm.
"...m sorry," Jonathan mumbles as he loses the fight to stay conscious.
---
'Roper has to believe he's won,' Sally instructed. 'That Jonathan has failed
to stop him and he holds all the cards. That's when he will slip up.'
Teddy didn't know what was in the text Roper got in the last few seconds
before the bomb went off. But it was obvious he knew in that moment that his
operation had failed.
'Show him whose blood you come from.'
His father's last words rang in his ears as he put a bullet in the man's
head.
'Watch me,' his child-like voice echoed across time as he rode a horse for
the first time. One of the many times he tried to elicit approval from a man
whose love he thought he could win if he just tried hard enough.
'I am well acquainted with Jonathan Pine's talent for seduction... But you
need to understand that it is all an act. He is always playing a role,
always lying. He hasn't fallen in love with you.'
Teddy wasn't na ve. He knew there was truth in what his father said. It was
Matthew Ellis who had flirted with him, danced with him, lured him to bed.
But Matthew Ellis had only been a diversion. A hedonist whose blatant
efforts at seduction could easily be matched. What he felt for Matthew was
little more than lust. An all-consuming, obsessive lust, maybe, but the idea
that it could be anything more didn't occur to him until the lie had been
stripped away.
Part of him feared Jonathan was just a replacement for Roper. But for as
many ways as the Englishmen were similar, they were not the same. Teddy had
spent a lifetime trying to win Roper's love and approval and always felt he
came up short. But Jonathan was willing to risk life and limb for him within
days. For Jonathan, Teddy didn't need to try to win him over, to keep
reaching, to keep trying to become something he could never be. For
Jonathan, finally, he was enough.
The confused dismay on Jonathan's face as the plan took a turn he didn't
expect was more painful for Teddy to witness than the shock on Roper's when
he discovered his son had betrayed him. Because, he realized with shocking
clarity, he no longer cared what his father thought of him. The
disappointment was nothing new. But the thought of betraying Jonathan's
trust in him was abhorrent. He wanted to be the person Jonathan saw in him.
The man who only did bad things because he was never afforded the
opportunity to be good. He wanted to leave Teddy Dos Santos behind and
become Eduardo Vidal again. For Jonathan. For Clara. But he couldn't do that
as long as Roper was alive.
'Have faith, mi amor,' he thought as he raised the gun.
He wouldn't need to cut himself later, he knew as he turned toward the man
he once thought the world of. The man who would not hesitate to kill Teddy
for trying to stop him from doing evil. This one time, at least, God would
forgive him.
Teddy didn't have time to really feel the weight of the sin he committed in
that clearing. He was too focused on getting Jonathan to safety amid the
hail of bullets that followed. On cradling his broken body in the back of
the speeding truck and begging him to hold on.
But now...
He watches Jonathan sleep beneath the crucifix on the wall. Watches the bare
chest littered with bruises rise and fall almost evenly now that the
tortured body has succumbed to the effects of the sedatives.
He takes inventory of all the damage hidden beneath the sheet. This has
become a ritual for him, almost like praying a rosary. He counted the scars
and bruises when he bathed Jonathan, cleaning the wounds so they could be
bandaged. He drew a map in his mind with notes on which ones Roper and his
guard were responsible for and which ones Teddy had left himself. The still
fading bruises on his neck now accompanied by fresh ones Teddy and Viktor
made when they held him down so the doctor could set his hand. He hopes
Jonathan won't remember any of that. He doesn't think he can ever forget the
pained screams and hysterical pleading for it to stop. How much it hurt to
realize that he didn't know if Jonathan understood in his delirium that they
were trying to fix him or if he thought he was still being tortured and his
escape had been nothing but a fever dream.
Teddy doesn't harbor any delusions that Jonathan can make a place for him in
his life. That whatever has been between them these past few days can last.
But even if their time together is fated to be tragically brief, it has
changed him profoundly, forged him into a new and possibly better man. So he
will commit every moment he has left, every detail, to memories that he can
cherish. Memories of the Englishman who saved him from becoming little more
than a rough, blurred copy of his father because he believed he deserved
better. The Englishman who, for at least a brief moment, actually loved him.
Jonathan's fingers twitch slightly and lines crease his forehead. A soft
noise of distress is caught in the back of his throat.
"Shh," Teddy whispers, stroking the soft skin on the inside of the Brit's
undamaged arm. "You are safe, corazon."
My heart. My love.
Jonathan's lips move, forming his name, and Teddy reaches to touch his face,
gently petting his cheek.
"I am here."
---
More notes:
Being that I am limited to Teddy and/or Jonathan's perspective, I didn't
have a good way to "show" the text Roper got. It doesn't really matter,
but in my mind it was from Angela and said something to really twist the
metaphorical knife. Possibly something about watching the cups because
obviously Teddy switched the EMP with an actual bomb.
While I'm on the subject of things that work better on a screen than a
page, I debated restoring a scene reportedly removed because Tom thought
the stunt involved was too dangerous (why they couldn't use a stunt double
wasn't made clear). Because hey, I am a fanfiction writer. I can do
whatever I want and nobody has to risk getting hurt because the characters
aren't REAL people. But in the end I decided that it wasn't necessary and
didn't really work logistically.
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