The Night Manager, Season 2 (episode 5)



Starring: Tom Hiddleston, Diego Calva, Camila Morrone, Hugh Laurie, Olivia Coleman, Indira Varma, Paul Chahidi, Haley Squires, Samuel Gomez Lopez, Michael Nardone, Cristina Umana, Unax Ugalde.

Previously, everyone figured out that Mayra and Roper are working together to start a revolution in Colombia. After acting like she couldn't stand Jonathan, Roxanna started making heart eyes at him when asked about her tragic history. Martin bugged one of Roper's dogs and caught him admitting that he's just using his bastard son Teddy and considers Danny his only precious boy. Teddy shot Alejandro in the head. Jonathan shot one of his guards in a ridiculously dangerous manner. And Roper figured out who "Matthew" is.

We open with Mayra also acknowledging that she has now figured out who "Alex Goodwin" really is: Andrew Birch.
Emilio: Ugggghhhh. Seriously, do you have a list of all the names you could refer to Tom by in this show?
Diandra: Oh, yeah, you came in after "Alex" was declared dead. Which is probably why Roper was talking about Jonathan in the past tense last episode. Birch is from last season, which you can tell because they were determined to make all of his names tree themed then.
Emilio: Redwood tree, it ain't hard to see?
Diandra: .......okay, we're not doing that here.
Turns out Mayra is talking to one of the people who knows his real name: Roper. He snarls that his name is actually Jonathan Pine and he's on to us. Mayra makes a face and asks what she should do. Roper says identify his "support teams" in Colombia and London and "deal with them." She asks where HE is though. "Leave him to me," Roper growls. He hangs up as Teddy arrives via helicopter.

After the credits, we go back to Jonathan driving down winding mountain roads while the news report on the radio announces that Alejandro the prosecutor was found dead, obviously assassinated by ex-guerilla. This is linked to Octavio being missing and considered dangerous, like I guess they were setting him up to take the fall. Jonathan looks at Octavio in the rear view mirror and asks Roxanna how far they have to go. She says a couple hours. Awesome. Two hours of awkward silence to contemplate how much of that splatter everywhere is blood and how much is brain matter.

Elsewhere, Sally is watching the television report about Alejandro's death where General Sanchez is condemning this senseless attack on a great man who fought tirelessly for justice and blah blah spin. Her phone rings from an unknown number. Basil asks if she got the "red flag" and why she isn't moving yet. "Get to the airport now. Use the exit parcel provided." He is at the airport in London, trying to avoid a shady looking character. He calls Angela and tells her he has to "cancel our appointment" because he has "guests." "I'll leave you my findings. Postmarked, of course. On A4 lined paper." Message received, she hangs up. He goes into a storefront marked "Postmark", slides a laptop onto a shelf somewhere and goes back out where he is almost immediately intercepted by a goon.

Angela retrieves the laptop...or...her body double does because that doesn't actually look like Olivia.
Chrissy: She's busy with-
Diandra: If the next thing you say involves any words related to fire or a vagina, so help me.
Emilio: A blazing quim?
Diandra: [stops typing and glares at Emilio]
Emilio: Sorry.

Sally finds the "exit package" and pulls out a passport with a new identity for her. She frowns at it and puts it back in the high cupboard she hid it in. Martin is listening to Roper, Juan and Teddy talking now. Teddy is defensively saying "Matthew" had stolen Swiss bank money that needed cleaning at just the time that they needed money and yeah, when you say it out loud it sounds like you're a sucker, doesn't it? Juan starts to play the I Told You So card and Teddy yells in Spanish that HE didn't have any better ideas. Roper yells at him to speak English. Because of course he probably doesn't speak ANY other languages. The Spanish speakers go quiet and Roper says first of all...he isn't a banker...or an investor. "He doesn't play the piccolo in a colliery band."
Chrissy: He might play a flute in a chamber orchestra though.
Emilio: More likely the French Horn. [sticks tongue between fingers in case we didn't get that joke]
Chrissy: Oh, he can play both. Probably not simultaneously, but...uh...should I be taking over here?
Diandra: [from fetal position on the couch] no, I'll be fine in a minute.

Roper says he's actually an intelligence agent "with an indecent habit of getting information people barely knew they had." He looks pointedly at Teddy and adds that many have been "susceptible" to his "gift" and he's betting Roxanna is one. "What about you, Teddy? Were you susceptible?"
Chrissy: I mean, I didn't notice a limp when you were walking earlier and your voice sounds perfectly not gravelly, but maybe my wife exaggerated his "assets".
Diandra: Yeah, she didn't, but way to assume I was the one doing the catching, DAD.
Chrissy: .........wow, you came back swinging.
Teddy innocently asks what he means by that.
Emilio: [makes rude gesture]
This one
Roper snaps at him to just answer the question.
Chrissy: And please spare me the details. I don't need to have THAT image the next time I see you on a horse.

Teddy looks at Juan, who just looks away nervously, and says he didn't tell Matthew anything. He also thinks he hasn't "achieved" anything because the prosecutor is dead and they're on schedule to deliver the shipment to Cabrera. Roper growls that the plan didn't involve making all the mistakes they've clearly made. Teddy stomps off to his room and Roper glowers out the window and mutters "where are you, Jonathan?"

Jonathan is arriving with Roxanna and Octavio at the house she said nobody has been back to since her father's body was delivered to it and now I regret not noting the little detail that she didn't know why her mother hadn't sold it. It's overgrown with weeds and there's a dusty truck just sitting in the garage, but it will work as a safehouse for them. She walks around, trying and failing to hold back tears and changes out of her blood covered top into one of her mother's still in a drawer.

Jonathan is getting blood off his hands when his phone buzzes with a message from Martin. He plays the audio from the conversation we just saw of Roper starting with "let me tell you something". He stops after the words "British Intelligence agent" when Octavio wanders up. For the benefit of the audience, he verifies that his name really is Octavio, but says people call him Tavo. Jonathan asks if he has family he can call like he's forgotten the kid is an ORPHAN. Jonathan says he'll be safe here anyway. "Don't leave me with her," Tavo blurts. "She's one of them." Jonathan frowns and says it's okay, she's on their side.
Chrissy: Oh, honey, I think you're the one who's susceptible.
Diandra: Yeah, she's on her own side. Which might align with yours sometimes, but...yeah.

Jonathan goes into Roxanna's parents room where she still is and raids the closet for something of her dad's that will fit him. Roxanna asks if he wants to tell her what's going on while he starts just changing in front of her. He says "Gilberto Hanson" is actually an English arms dealer he has a...history with. He wipes at the blood on his arm with the slutty linen shirt and pulls on...another blue shirt.
Diandra: Yeah, the costume designer and director are obviously on the same page.
Emilio: They know what they're working with. And who their audience is.
Diandra: Not sure about the makeup and lighting people though because something is not right with his face in this scene. He looks older suddenly. What? Why...why are you looking at me like that?
Chrissy: I think I just figured out the problem. He has his shirt off and you're looking at his FACE.
Diandra: Um.......yes? Should I not be?
Chrissy: So the fact that he has the same biceps you were distracted by during "Kong" is somehow not registering now?
Diandra: Oh, are they? I guess I need to see the fabric of the shirt straining to tell.
Chrissy: I'm starting to think you're just making this shit up to confuse me now. I KNOW you weren't this unaffected by shirtless Brad Pitt or Chris Hemsworth.
Diandra: No, that's just...different somehow. Don't ask me to understand how my brain works. I don't make the rules!
Emilio: Wait, I think I'm starting to get it. Whether or not she finds a guy attractive is almost entirely about whether he has a pretty face. If he also has a good body, that might become part of what triggers her, but otherwise...
Chrissy: So she finds Tom's face attractive, but not his body.
Emilio: Correct. This is also true of Cumberbatch, which is why she acted like she didn't even notice he had his shirt off in "Doctor Strange".
Diandra: Okay, if you two are finished psychoanalyzing me...

Jonathan says now that the guy knows he's here, "I have to get to him before he gets to me." She blinks and refocuses on his face to ask where his team is. He says he doesn't have one. Which I guess is technically not a lie since one person in each country hardly constitutes a "team", but. She suspiciously notes that he told her he had one before. He says yeah, well...he lied. He's alone. She realizes this means he can't guarantee any of the shit he promised her either. She smiles and concludes that he played her like a...French Horn, apparently.
Emilio: That's not how that expression works.
Diandra: Whatever.

He starts making noises about doing what was necessary for the operation and she snaps "I trusted you with my life." Remember how she said Teddy would kill her if he found out? He just snaps at her that that's why she needs to stay in this house with her phone off. They're looking for Tavo anyway because he's wanted for murder, so just make sure nobody can spot him. She laughs and mutters that they're worried about Tavo. He snots that she worked for these people voluntarily. She knew what they were. "I will get you out of this, but do NOT ask me to be grateful." She says this was his plan from the beginning, wasn't it? He lied to her, "compromised" her position and now she's screwed. The accusation that HE lied sets him off on a rant about watching his friend Waleed die because SHE lied to HIM. He says she only helped him to "save your own skin." She smirks, yanks his belt open (I think), puts his hand on her neck and says "you...like my skin, don't you?"
Emilio: [grunts and goes alarmingly quiet for the rest of this scene]
She slides his hand between her legs and they do the panting in each other's mouths thing they were doing on the dance floor a couple episodes ago while she makes orgasmic noises for a few seconds until he regains his senses and pulls away from her.
Diandra: So as I was saying about asexuals being immune to this sort of "susceptibility"...
Chrissy: Yes, yes, we all know you are above these base instincts, Sherlock.
Emilio: Maybe a piano would be a more appropriate instrument in this case.
Chrissy and Diandra: [stare at Emilio]
Emilio: What? Did you say something I was supposed to reply to just now? I'm sorry.

They compose themselves and he repeats the order to stay put, promising he'll come back. She spits at his departing back that he can do whatever because she's never asking him for anything again.

Back in London, Mayra arrives at the secret house for nefarious bullshit, but this time we go in with her because this is where they took Basil. He asks why he's here. She says she wants to talk about where the hell the artist formerly known as Alex Goodwin is now. Basil stubbornly repeats that Alex is dead, which...I mean...is true either way legally. Mayra says right and he was returning what was left of a body from Spain? She shows him a picture of Jonathan taken yesterday at some point. Basil stares at it, stonefaced. She notes that he's been filming this house, met Adam and tricked him into turning over his phone. She reminds him that he PROMISED her he was "loyal" at Rex's funeral. He twitches a little. She asks where Jonathan Pine is then.
Emilio: En te culo.
Chrissy: Oh, if he's up anybody's "culo", it would be-OW!
Diandra: Give me a warning when you do that, Emilio.
Emilio: Sorry. I keep forgetting you never learned Spanish.
Diandra: I know the parts that overlap with French.
Emilio: Uh-huh. So if I say "yo como gato..."
Diandra: I am aware of the cat/cake problem of speaking both languages, yes. Also, gross.
Emilio: That's just your opinion.
Basil just stares at her until she calls the guard who brought him here over to "jog his memory". She leaves the room before he can start beating on him or torturing him or whatever.

Now for the return of another face from last season: Roper's favorite guard "Frisky" arrives at the villa. Roper thanks him for taking his call. From inside the kitchen, Teddy watches his dad greet the guy warmly and stews.
Diandra: I kind of love this kitchen. Aside from the ugly dark green color everywhere.
Emilio: Really? Because other than maybe having more counter space, I think your kitchen is better.
Diandra: Eh, maybe.
Chrissy: Oy. You know you're old when you're focusing on the d cor of a fictional house.
Diandra: That's not new. I remember being distracted by the bathroom in a Robert Downey Jr. movie having the exact same layout as mine and realizing that designers at the turn of the millennium were apparently exhibitionists.
"Two Girls and a Guy". And yes, those are mirrors AND windows.

Roper comes in and Teddy asks who these people he's bringing in are. Roper says they're friends from home who are going to "help us find your boy." Teddy is like 'or you could just let me handle this.'
Chrissy: Ha. No, you would just get distracted the minute you looked into his pretty blue eyes.
Diandra: That or Roper DEFINITELY wants first crack at him.
Emilio: Both, probably.

Roper tells him to focus on the new prosecutor and retrieving the shipment. Teddy says he has boys who can handle things like that. "Listen to me," Roper growls. "A man hell bent on revenge guarantees only his own demise."
Chrissy: Who are you kidding if you think you aren't out for revenge on him?
Emilio: He probably just wants all the revenge for himself.
Diandra: Yeah. This is the other thing that might indicate where this is headed. He will be so focused on killing Jonathan that he will kill himself in the process.
Anyway, he says they need to focus on the original plan: the regime change and the whole ruling a continent thing.

Teddy's phone rings and he stares at the screen for a very long moment before looking at Roper. Roper tells him to answer. He slowly does, asking "who is this," in Spanish. "Put him on," Jonathan's voice answers, like...you're making a few assumptions there, but okay. Teddy hands the phone to Roper and Roper purrs "well, you ARE trouble." From wherever the fuck he is, Jonathan - again looking significantly older than he actually is for some reason - tells him he booked a table at that hilltop restaurant with the name Andrew Birch. "1pm. Come alone." He hangs up.
Chrissy: Oh, you think you're in charge here. That's cute.

So Roper leaves in a car and Teddy leaves in a helicopter and Martin goes we aren't exactly sure where yet .

Jonathan is at a table visible right in front so they can lock eyes the minute Roper gets out of his car. The owner greets "Mr. Hanson" and says his friend is already here but apologizes that he couldn't clear the restaurant this time. Roper says it's fine, "Andrew" is "an old colleague". Jonathan gets up and the melody from last season plays softly as they greet each other with their fake names like they're setting up for a duel. They shake hands and don't let go for a long moment like they're waiting to see who lets go first. The owner gets them to break by asking if he can get "Gilberto" anything and Roper turns to order two of whatever his house "juice" is and bloody steaks. He puts his phone on the table and sits down first with Jonathan slowly mirroring. Roper says he should probably know that the owner of this place is a friend of his. "So if you try anything you will come badly unstuck." Jonathan says yeah, he knew that and he did it deliberately because "I wanted you to feel safe." Roper is like 'you realize I could have had you killed before I got here, right?' Jonathan is like 'and yet...'
Chrissy: Yeah, I would think THIS scene is more about "getting measurements" than whatever he was doing rubbing up against Teddy a couple episodes ago.
Diandra: Except they should have any "measurements" they need by now. This is just a rematch.

The owner brings the "juice", which might be alcoholic and Jonathan says Roper looks older. Roper laughs like 'oh, rub it in that my hair has gone totally grey while you're still pretty enough that everyone in my vicinity would abandon their loyalty to me in a hot minute if it meant they could get access to your dick.' He says at least he's wiser and asks how Jed is doing innocently. Jonathan says he doesn't know because he hasn't seen her in the past decade. "Well, that's probably best for her health," Roper chortles. He asks about Angela and if she knows about "all of this." Jonathan snits that Angela is a "coward" because she lied to him. Roper asks who knows he's here then. Jonathan says nobody. "Oh, bollocks," Roper snorts. He says everyone is always so EAGER to help him.
Emilio: .....into bed?
Diandra: Yes, that too.
Jonathan insists he's alone this time. "It's just you and me." Roper says if that's true then "you're either very confident or rather desperate."
Chrissy: Or stupid. That's also an option.

Jonathan says he has the shipment list and he knows who the weapons are being sold to and that he's using Teddy's "kind hearted charity" to recruit child soldiers for a "rebel war". By the way, Roxanna will happily "turn state witness" to save herself from this mess. So no, he's not "desperate". He pointedly drinks his "juice". Roper asks what he's expecting him to do then. Jonathan says Roper can turn himself in and take down all those turncoats at River House with him. Roper is like 'riiiiiiiiight, and I would do that because you batted your eyes at me and said pretty please, or...' Jonathan says because he's going to defeat his plans and screw him out of the ability to pay back the Syrians and he reaaaaaally doesn't want to piss them off. Roper snorts and says he's going to tell him why he thinks he's REALLY here. Because he has NOTHING on him, can't connect him to any of the shit he just said including Roxanna, who he's never even met. "All I am is a name and not even the right one." Jonathan falters a little and insists he still has Mayra. Roper dismisses that as just a piece of paper with no names. It'll make "page seven in the Guardian if you're lucky." Jonathan glares as the steaks are brought to the table. Roper keeps talking like the things he's saying shouldn't be at all weird to the staff here, gloating that Jonathan can't touch him because he's basically in a fortress here "and as of yesterday, the walls got just a little bit thicker."

Jonathan asks why he even bothered to come if he's so confident about all of this.
Chrissy: Oh, I just wanted to see your face while I gloated my victory. I need an audience.
Roper says he just hates loose ends or "mess" and wanted to fix it. "I also have inexplicable affection for you."
Chrissy: And.......that.
Diandra: You were like the son I always wanted! Right up until you stabbed me in the back, you ungrateful little shit.
Chrissy: Which is complicated because your "half brother" would really like to bang you.
Emilio: Although that's not really a new thing is it, Loki?
Diandra: ..............how long were the two of you preparing that?
Emilio: A while, yeah.

Jonathan scowls but his mouth twitches a little. Roper says he's going to make him an offer. One that's "more achievable." Since the impoundment is going to be lifted in the next hour and the shipment will be on its way to its destination and that war will inevitably start shortly after he should just...give up.
Emilio: Lie back and let him win.
Diandra: Why do I feel like that's a very specific refence to one of my recaps?
Emilio: Pretty sure it was "Sherlock", but I don't remember which one.

ETA: It's not so much from the recap as it is actually a quote from the episode The Abominable Bride: "lie back and lose". Emilio wasn't with us for that one, which either means he's just remembering the actual episode or he remembers an alarming amount of the shit I recap, which is more worrying.

Roper says after they have their lunch, he should go to his safe house, pick up that Roxanna girl, bring her and the documents to him and then fuck off for parts unknown. He'll give "Matthew Ellis" 50 million at whatever bank he wants and he can start over. Jonathan asks why he would do that. "To be a free man."
Chrissy: Would you rather have Teddy as your consolation prize? Because that can be arranged.
"You can't tell me that you've forgotten the beach in Majorca."
Diandra: [groans and curls into a fetal position]
Chrissy: What are you doing?
Diandra: Bracing.
Chrissy: Do you remember what he's talking about, Emilio? Because I don't.
Emilio: No, but I assume she's waiting for you to go into a headcanon about them having sex on a beach.
Diandra: [muffled by couch pillows] What he said.

"I told you then what it takes to see the chaos and grab your chance. I saw the fire in your eyes."
Chrissy: I just didn't plan on you grabbing my wife.
Diandra: [tentatively unclenches] Oh...you're not...okay...
Jonathan says he was playing a part. Roper snorts that he's always doing that.
Chrissy: Although I'm pretty sure you weren't faking it EVERY time.
Diandra: [groan][headdesk]
Roper recites some of Jonathan's names: "Andrew Birch books the table. Thomas Quince eats the steak. Matthew Ellis downs the wine. No no no, I struck a cord in you that day. You crave danger." Which, he figures, is why Jonathan Pine fucked his wife - stealing her from a raving psycho gave it an adrenaline boost. And then there was that weapons demonstration. "And above all, you need me."
Chrissy: Because what is Sherlock without Moriarty?
Diandra: I know that's the excuse everyone always uses to jump right to that showdown, but there were tens of thousands of words Doyle wrote about Sherlock Holmes before Moriarty ever became a thing and I hate that people forget just how small Moriarty's role really was.
Emilio: Jonathan is also not Sherlock. He's smart enough to construct an entire operation to fool Sherlock though.
Diandra: Oh, don't YOU start referencing my fic.
Emilio: But it's FUN.
Diandra: [grumble]

Jonathan leans in, meeting Roper's stare and says "if you came here to win my soul, you can forget it."
Chrissy: Oh, if I wanted that I would have let Teddy handle you like he offered. Since you seem to have a soft spot for him. Or a hard spot.
Emilio: That would make a good fic prompt. If Roper figured out who Teddy's investor was before Jonathan figured out he was alive, he could have done a counter-op with Teddy REALLY trying to seduce him to the dark side.
Diandra: [angry cat hiss]
Roper smirks and says he came here to "offer you the world."
Chrissy: It would be so much easier if you didn't fight it. Just let me have my way and...okay, wait. No. This is coming out much more disturbing than I anticipated.
Diandra: At least you're FINALLY aware of it.

Jonathan snaps that he can't offer him the world because he's just "a con man". Always lying, even about having died. So why should he believe a word he says now? "Because you dream of me every night," Roper says. "Just as I dream of you."
Chrissy: Pretty sure only one of us is having wet dreams though.
Emilio: Really? Are you sure about that?
Diandra: I know this is not what you're thinking, but Jonathan really was having nightmares that Roper was still alive a few episodes ago. I assume Roper's dreams would be more about the ways he could torture and humiliate Jonathan until Jonathan begs for death. Maybe give that Sadistic Baron a call.
Chrissy: .............okay, maybe we should stop poking her muse.
Diandra: Or just do something like that reverse op you were talking about earlier and have Teddy do it. Make use of all that Catholic guilt and machismo telling him it's WRONG to want Matthew and they should both be punished for their sins...
Chrissy: Okay, you've MADE YOUR POINT.

Jonathan gives a colorful description of Alejandro's death, calling him a "good man" he failed to protect and swearing he won't fail again. Roper grumbles about conscience and shame being "the shackles of slaves."
Emilio: We can free you of those shackles! Unless, of course, you would prefer to keep them on. I'm sure the Baron would appreciate it.
Chrissy: DUDE! Why are you going along with THAT prompt?!
Emilio: [shrugs] I don't really care what she writes as long as she's writing.
Diandra: [evil chuckle]
Chrissy: Okay, if you end up writing this torture porn thing, you send HIM the link with the text that says "this is all your fault", okay? I will not be held responsible for this.

Jonathan argues that conscience is what makes us human. "Your father teach you that," Roper sneers. Jonathan says yes, actually. Roper is like 'oh, right'. That's probably what "led him to a pointless death on a street in Belfast...blown to bits by his selfless commitment to service." Jonathan twitches again, visibly getting angry and tightens his grip on the steak knife. Roper chortles "that's it!"
Emilio: Yes, yes, let the hate flow through you.
He goads Jonathan to do it. Stab him right in his heart. "But before you do that, know this: your father's values are dying. Mine are in the ascendant." Jonathan calms and tries to take back the upper hand. "My father loved me. What about yours?"
Emilio: He was so obsessed with proving this one guy was faking being gay so he could live with two women that he didn't really have time for me. Or mom, who always complained about him not being able to satisfy her.
Diandra: Are we...seriously linking LeCarre's evil weapons dealer to a character from "Three's Company"?
Chrissy: Eh. We've done worse headcanons. ANYway, obviously the other theme here is Daddy Issues and who Roper sees as being like a son VS actual blood ties.
Diandra: In an alternate reality, Jonathan could be his son, which is the subject of a fic someone else is writing and I find fascinating because it highlights this idea we've talked about in the comics universe where the smallest thing could mean the difference between the exact same character being on the side of heroes or villains.
Emilio: Like Superman crashing in Russia instead of the US in "Red Son"?
Diandra: Yes. A "what if" alternate history that focuses on a character instead of the usual "what if x country had won x war?"
Chrissy: How's that real person AU fic where the world is an Omegaverse coming, by the way?
Diandra: ................okay, I'll stop prompting the Baron thing if you'll agree to never bring that up again.
Chrissy: I'm sure that will only last to the end of this episode, but sure.

Roper is sort of stunned by this low blow. Jonathan breaks eye contact and regroups before giving Roper a phone he will call him on tomorrow morning. "You'll agree to hand yourself in. If you don't, I will destroy you." He goes to leave, but Roper grabs his arm. "You are at a fork in the road, my pilgrim," he hisses. "Choose carefully." He lets go and Jonathan goes out to his car. His phone rings just as he gets in. Apparently Martin followed Roper from the villa and warns him that there's two men in a black Ford watching him. Jonathan asks if he got all of that. Martin flicks through pictures of them at the table and says he thinks so. But he tells Jonathan to "take the scenic route" getting to their meeting point because he needs a bit more time. Jonathan pulls away and Roper glances at the black truck as it follows.

Once they are out on a deserted road, we see Frisky is driving the black truck. He calls Roper to inform him that now would be a very good time to just take Jonathan out.
Chrissy: Were you not paying attention? I NEED him or all the fun will be sucked out of my evil plans.
Diandra: Yeah, I know that from a storytelling standpoint he can't kill Jonathan, but I think the argument could be made that killing him wouldn't be as fun as seeing all the fight go out of him as everything he loves is taken away and his entire belief system crumbles.
Emilio: Is that part of the fic your muse is writing, or...?
Diandra: No, just character analysis. The slightly less extreme version of the torture and humiliation we were talking about before.
Roper says just follow him and figure out where he's keeping the girl.

Jonathan stops at a gas station and drops the keys to the truck on the counter...right in front of Martin, who picks them up and asks the attendant to fill that truck "slowly and carefully." While the attendant is doing that, he tells Jonathan that "Jane" called and she's still in country trying to contact the chief justice. Jonathan groans that she should have left by now. Martin is like 'obviously she's too loyal to just ditch you the minute things started going wrong.' Then he switches to Spanish to inform Jonathan that there are men waiting at the back by the men's room. Jonathan grabs a cup of coffee and goes around to the bathroom, which gets Frisky's attention. "No, fuck this," he mutters, getting out of his truck. Jonathan puts on the disguise Martin left in the bathroom while Martin distracts Frisky. By the time Frisky kicks in the door, he's crawled out the window and into a car where he is sandwiched between two Colombian guys.

Back at the justice building, Sally calls Consuelo the chief justice as she is being escorted in by armed men. She says her name is Jane and she's a friend of Alejandro. She says he was killed trying to meet with Consuelo and she knows why. Consuelo plasters a fake smile and tells the "minister" that yes, General Sanchez has given her military protection and they are with her right now. Sally says yeah, she can see that. There's a coup being planned and Consuelo is going to help them stop it.

Teddy arrives at the port to pick up the newly released shipment. Viktor weirdly verifies that "it's all here" without opening the shipping container. Teddy steps away as his phone rings. He answers with "who the fuck is this?" which is just as weird as it was last time he did that because of course it's Jonathan again. "You look anxious."
Chrissy: I know of a good way to relieve some of that tension...
He tells Teddy to meet him where the boat they tried to kill him on took off the other night and he'll tell him the truth about his dad.

So Teddy arrives at that location and immediately draws his gun. But all he finds is a laptop sitting open on a rock. He approaches it warily and taps the mousepad to start the sound file queued to the part where Roper and Sandy are talking about him. Jonathan creeps up as it gets to the end where Sandy offers to "get rid of him" and Roper doesn't protest. Teddy turns his gun on him and asks what the FUCK this is about. Jonathan says it was recorded yesterday. Teddy sneers that he's lying. Jonathan says no, they're making plans for Roper's future in England and it DOESN'T involve Teddy. Also, hi. I'm a British spy and you should totally trust me even though I'm still not going to tell you my real name.
Emilio: Names aren't important. They don't define who we are.
Diandra: ......I walked right into that one. But seriously, stop quoting my fic.
Anyway, he gives him a quick rundown of the op he did a decade ago to take Roper down. He took his money and handed him over to those Syrian thugs. And his whole goal in Colombia now is "to settle his debts and to get home. And he's used you to do it." Teddy yells that he's still lying and waves the gun in his face. Jonathan calmly asks what Roper told him, that he had a whole future in his empire or something? That they'd rule the continent together? Which is kind of weird since that was a conversation Roper and Teddy had out in the middle of nowhere that he couldn't have heard.

He says he went to Teddy's mother's grave. Teddy starts screaming and waving the gun again and he yells over him that he knows about him paying to have a flower put on her grave every month. He also spoke to his sister and the monks at the monastery, so he knows about daddy dearest visiting him once a year. "You lived for that visit just as you've lived for him ever since." Teddy falters, puts the gun down and asks what the FUCK Jonathan wants. Jonathan tells him to go play the other file on that laptop. Teddy wipes his eyes as he does and it's the conversation by the car where Roper declares Danny his ONLY son and his pride and joy. Jonathan is like yeah...did he even tell you about Danny? Teddy raises the gun again, yelling at Jonathan to shut up. Jonathan just pushes his hand down easily and repeats that Roper doesn't care about HIM because the only kid he cares about is in England and he's USING Teddy. Teddy grabs him by the back of the neck and shoves the gun under his chin, but he's just making impotent threats now, crying as he keeps yelling for Jonathan to stop talking. He snaps when Jonathan says he doesn't deserve this and tackles him into the rock wall. Jonathan reverses their positions and they grapple while religious sounding music plays across the soundtrack until Teddy finally collapses into him in tears. The music stops and Teddy shoves him away again.
Chrissy: Oh, come ON.
Diandra: Allow me to preemptively respond to your suggestion that I write a fix-it fic that turns that hug into a kiss and possibly some groping: no.
Chrissy: What is the point of being a fanfiction writer if you can't smush the pretty boys together and yell 'now KISS EACH OTHER, DAMNIT'?
Emilio: I mean...this isn't all that different from the scene earlier where he almost finger banged Roxy, so...
Diandra: That's not helping, Emilio.
Emilio: Sure it is. I'm just helping Chrissy, not you.
Diandra: You know, you should both be glad I even bother to invite you to do these recaps anymore.
Chrissy: It's because - even if we haven't noted it for a while now - you are still a masochist, sweetie.

Jonathan asks when Teddy last saw his sister because "she's been waiting for you." He sort of strokes Teddy's head on his way to grabbing the back of his neck.
Chrissy: I would just like to point out that he has several buttons undone on that shirt and is wearing the same tight fitting pants he had on all last episode.
Diandra: Which is exactly what he was wearing when he met Roper, yes. What's your point?
Chrissy: [heavy sigh] You will happily entertain that Sadistic Baron nonsense for no reason, but you won't consider the possibility that they could be so overwhelmed with emotion here that they just have to kiss so passionately that they leave bruises?
Diandra: Sounds like YOU should be writing this.
Chrissy: I'm not the writer. I'm the one that tries to wave the shiny keys in front of the writer to try to get her attention in the hopes that she will WRITE DAMNIT.

They go to the church, but before they can go inside, Teddy's phone rings. The screen says "Gilberto", which Jonathan sees before he rejects the call and shoves it back in his pocket. This time, Teddy lets Jonathan hang back while he goes to Clara, sitting in one of the pews. She jumps up and tearfully greets her baby brother. He apologizes for not being around and breaks down again as she hugs him. He hugs her back and begs her forgiveness because "I don't know what I've done."

Back at the villa, Roper is conferring with Juan. "What does he have besides the girl," he asks. "What am I not seeing?"
Chrissy: Oh, I thought you did see it when you asked if Teddy had been "susceptible".
Juan suggests Jonathan is just bluffing. Roper isn't so sure about that and orders every place he's been gone over. Juan says they already did that. Roper snaps at him to do it again. Juan sighs and goes to make a call. The dogs run in and Roper greets them and pets Chloe until he spots the bug on her collar. He pulls it out and taps a fork to a glass on the table to get everybody's attention, making a shushing gesture while holding the bug up when the guards and Juan look at him. He holds the bug out to one of the guards, who nods. He puts it back in Chloe's collar and another guard leads her away. He loudly asks the gardener/dog walker if he took them on the "usual route" today as Chloe passes by him. From his post, Martin perks up. Roper goes to the guard he showed the bug to, who says it's the kind you can buy in a supermarket, so it would have a range of 200 meters at best. Roper orders them to find whoever is out there listening.

He hops on an ATV himself and joins the search party. They find Martin's post, but of course he's already gone. Unfortunately he hasn't gone far as a couple guys are on his heels as he gets to the car and peels away, nearly hitting them.

Back on the loading docks, Teddy explains the plan to Jonathan while they sit in the car. The shipment contains an EMP weapon that Jose Cabrera's men plan to drive into downtown Medellin in the middle of the anniversary celebration and detonate it which will kill power to everything. Chaos, looting and death will inevitably follow and people will blame the government. Their army will come in like saviors to restore order and tada hostile takeover. Jonathan asks how they're getting the weapon to Cabrera. Teddy says the plan is he drives the truck to the military base a few hours away and the weapon will be parachuted into his camp tomorrow. Jonathan concludes that they need to figure out how to divert the plane. Teddy says yeah, well...Cabrera is the only one who can do that. Jonathan says okay then, he needs whatever details Teddy can get him on the plane. Teddy nods slowly and reaches to open the door. "Eduardo," Jonathan says softly. "Be careful." Not really knowing what to do with THAT, Teddy just mutters "you too" and gets out of the car.
Chrissy: Okay, HOW are you not already writing some sort of porny filler taking place somewhere between the last couple scenes?
Diandra: I'm surprised you're not questioning where their hands are every time one of them moves during this whole conversation. I swear at one point it looked like Jonathan could be reaching for Teddy's knee.
Chrissy: ...........okay, sure. I can work with that. This is after the scene in the church so...you said confession booth, Emilio?
Diandra: Ugh, no, you can't FORCE it, Chrissy.
Emilio: Why wait until the church? What's wrong with that scene you were writing earlier? Or the car on the way to the church?
Diandra: Stop trying to help her!
Emilio: No.
Chrissy: I don't know why you're fighting this when you've written dozens of pages of Tom's characters getting ravished by pretty men, usually played by Benedict Cumberbatch and/or Robert Downey Jr. How's that MCU fic inspired by the first season of this show going, by the way?
Diandra: IT WAS NOT-[groan] I'm just saying. Time and place. My muse isn't going to just shoehorn sex scenes in where they don't naturally seem to fit, okay? She's going to suggest that Teddy had to make himself bleed a couple episodes ago as punishment for the impure thoughts having Matthew sprawled in his lap all wet and vulnerable conjured.
Emilio: ......yeah. In other words, she doesn't want you poking her muse because her muse has already been distracted for the last couple episodes.
Chrissy: Apparently.
Diandra: [mutters]
I mean...

Roper returns to the villa, goes into some out building where the dogs are sleeping and just...shoots them. Because at this point we need to remind the audience that he is a totally unredeemable shitbag. Although even Juan looks shocked by this. He follows Roper into the house despite Roper snapping at him to "leave me alone." Juan's phone rings before he can leave and Roper asks if it's Teddy. Juan holds up his phone and we can sort of see the screen says it's Roxanna. Roper orders him to answer it then.

Jonathan is meeting Martin at the airport. Martin jokes that he "needed the exercise" when Jonathan asks if he's okay. Sally is waiting for them with a car and gives Jonathan a look like 'go ahead and argue with me. I dare you.' He says she should have left by now. She's like 'we've been over this before and I believe I already told you where you could shove it.' She asks where Teddy is now. Jonathan says "with the cargo". She like 'and do we trust him to do what we need now?' Jonathan mutters that he isn't sure.
Chrissy: Yes, and this is where handling the mission better from the beginning might have helped, Jonathan. You had him undressing you with his eyes and you were sending the girl in to get the information for you.
Diandra: Yeah, the whole path to getting the shipment list felt a bit unnecessarily complicated for purposes of stretching the plot. Last season he slept with a woman to get information and it worked without a hitch.

Teddy gets to the military base and meets Sanchez, who orders the cargo loaded onto a plane.

Back in London with the nearly forgotten Basil, now a little bruised. He's telling Mayra that he's suspected something was off with her for a while, which is why he followed her to this house. And yeah, he tricked Adam into giving him the rest which wasn't difficult because he's an idiot. He knows something is going on in Colombia that involves arms dealing and funding a regime change. She asks what he knows about Jonathan's operation. Basil insists he didn't even know "that prick" was still alive and whoever lied about finding his body wasn't him. Mayra sighs and thanks him for all his years of service, but "as I said, sometimes we have to stand on some heads." She stomps out and the goon who took him from the airport comes back in, cocking a gun. We switch to a shot of the outside of the house as he shoots, startling birds out of the nearby trees.

Back in Colombia, Martin takes Jonathan and Sally to his sister's place because he says she's gone for the whole month and won't even notice.

Teddy takes the helicopter back to the villa and Roper greets him right on the landing site, asking if it went okay. Teddy says yeah, the plane will be ready to take off in the morning. Roper notes that he had his phone turned off when he was at the port. Any particular reason? Teddy apologizes and claims he was just "doing some paperwork" and didn't want to be disturbed.
Emilio: Ah, that's a euphemism I've never heard before, but I like it.
Chrissy: Yeah, my hands were really occupied with all the "paperwork". It was a bit messy, but I took care of him. IT! I took care of it!
Diandra: [heavy sigh]
Roper lets that obvious lie go and asks if Teddy is hungry because the cook left him some food.
Chrissy: Sure, I probably worked up an appetite.

They go inside where the guards are in the process of turning everything upside down, looking for any more bugs. Roper asks Frisky if they've found anything. Frisky says no while tearing apart a couch pillow. Teddy warily asks what is going on here. Roper is like 'oh, you didn't know your boyfriend was listening to us?' Teddy asks how he was doing that. Roper is like 'gee, if I had to guess I'd say he followed your dumb ass because you were, in fact, susceptible and now he's balls deep in our operation.'
Chrissy: Okay, you can't insist you're not writing fic and then do THAT.
Emilio: I mean...she's only sort of changing the actual wording.
Teddy just blinks and asks what they should do about it. Roper says he'll take care of it. "Don't take it personally, but when the weather gets rough, I tighten the ship."
Chrissy: And we all know how bad you are at making things impenetrable.
Diandra: Oh, god...

Roper says he's going to go for a walk. Teddy offers to go with him, but Roper says he should get his "beauty sleep" because he has a big day tomorrow. Teddy waits for him to leave and then wanders over to his room, digging a key out of the cigarette pack in his bedside drawer. Because of course Roper has a secret locked office here too and we're going to do the scene where the family member Jonathan convinced to help him digs around in his stuff again.
Chrissy: See?
Diandra: Yes, yes, this could all have happened two episodes ago and shaved off a whole lot of time and effort. I know. Please refer back to my statement about how they are making things difficult in order to drag it out to twice the number of episodes.
Teddy finds the passport Sandy got for Roper, the paperwork for the house in England and a framed picture of Danny. He stares at this, his jaw twitching.

And we switch to Jonathan as his phone buzzes. Sally asks if that's "him" and he hands the phone to her. She flicks through the pictures and whatever else Teddy just sent detailing the operation and mutters "you really did win his heart, didn't you?"
Emilio: Careful. There might be some pictures in there that only Jonathan is supposed to see.
Chrissy: And texts. What is this about paperwork that needs to be filled?
Diandra: [snorts and groans at the same time and buries face in hands, muttering]
Chrissy: What was that?
Diandra: I said 'please god, just get me through this episode.'
She shows Martin the pictures of the plane being loaded and all the identifying markings they might need to track it while Jonathan explains that it's leaving for Cabrera's camp in the jungle tomorrow and they need to intercept it.

Apparently since the last time we saw him, Juan went to retrieve Roxanna. He brings her to Roper now. Roper introduces himself, proving that she wasn't lying about never having met him before. "My friends call me Dickie," he adds for some reason. "But you're not one of them. You COULD be, if you do me a favor. But if you try to deceive me I will send you back to your mother in Miami [...] in 31 shoeboxes. One box a day for a month. I'm pretty sure we can keep you alive for at least a week."
Chrissy: Well. Points for creativity I guess.
She's like 'sure. I'm used to guys like you.' She steps closer defiantly and asks what he wants her to do. "I want Jonathan Pine," he growls. She's like 'oh, is that his real name? okay.'
Chrissy: This kind of highlights the lengths they're going to to keep Teddy from knowing his real name for some reason. Is there a reason for that?
Diandra: I mean...he did tell Roxanna that the people he gets close to tend to get hurt, so...maybe? But yeah, it does seem weird that he was telling Teddy all about who he really is and what he did ten years ago without ever mentioning ANY name. I wonder if that will be significant later.
Chrissy: You mean 'I thought I was protecting him by keeping him at some distance, but you went and killed another person I loved anyway?'
Emilio: Uh...what?
Diandra: Yeah, spoiler warning. Sorry. But considering Roper keeps comparing Teddy to those dogs he just shot for less I'm thinking there was plenty of foreshadowing for you to guess what will happen to Teddy.
Emilio: Oh. Well. That probably explains the spike in fanfiction you were talking about.
Diandra: Yep. Although that had already started the minute fanfic writers caught the overwhelming scent of hoyay.
Chrissy: Yes, if there's anything that draws fanfiction writers even more than unhappy endings they need to fix, it's the possibility of imagining pretty boys filling each other's "paperwork".
Diandra: [groan] You're going to be using that for the entirety of the next episode, aren't you?
Chrissy: [brightly] Probably!