Spoiler ratings guide here (opens in a new window)
"The Avengers" (or:
Band of Misfits)
Chrissy and I take on the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the first
(and probably best so far) group movie wherein Loki tries to take over
Earth by letting some lizard alien creatures attack Manhattan. Or
something.
Spoiler rating: 3
"Thor: The Dark World" (or:
Norse God VS Evil Doctor)
I drag Chrissy kicking and screaming into a recap of the
second Thor movie. I still don't quite understand this part of the
Marvel verse, but for this movie at least it's not really all that
complicated.
Spoiler rating: 4
"Captain America: The Winter
Soldier" (or:
The Supersoldier Bromance That Dare Not Speak Its
Name)
There's a whole lot of exposition and set up in this one, broken up by
fight scenes. And that's about it. Oh, and there's a plot about
stopping HYDRA from launching a project that is basically a high tech
variation on Minority Report.
Spoiler rating: 3
"The Avengers: Age of Ultron" (or: Oy the Cliches)
Joss Whedon does a best-of remix of just about every major
theme in science fiction including (especially) Frankenstein in what
is apparently one of the least favorite movies of this entire canon.
Apparently now Bruce and Natasha are a thing and Clint has a whole
other life that will probably never be mentioned again.
Spoiler rating: depends on how much reading you do
"Captain America: Civil War" (or:
The Break-Up)
Marvel has to redo the entire plot of "X-Men 2" with a handful of the
Avengers because copyright law is a bitch. So it ends up looking like
Steve and Tony had a spat and fans completely missed that Tony was all
for a mutant registry.
Spoiler rating: 4
"Doctor Strange" (or:
Now for Something Really Weird)
Marvel FINALLY squeezes the Doctor Strange origin story into the MCU
after nearly a decade of movies and as a bonus is now able to afford
actors who were recent Oscar nominees. Emilio joins us and basically
has to act as a buffer between a librarian and a dominatrix.
Spoiler rating: 4
"Guardians of the Galaxy, Volume 2" (or:
Family Bullshit)
Emilio joins me to recap one of the weakest movies of this entire
series, full of cliches and sap (appropriate, I suppose
considering one of the characters is an anthropomorphic tree).
Spoiler rating: 3
"Spider-Man:
Homecoming" (or: Here We Go Again)
Chrissy is back for another Spider-Man origin story (sort of), this
time featuring Tony Stark as father figure and Michael Keaton as
another bird like character.
Spoiler
rating: 3
"Thor: Ragnarok" (or:
Send in the Clowns)
We take a break from the MCU and its continuing march toward "Infinity
War" for, as Chrissy brilliantly describes it "a bunch of cool visual
effects strung together haphazardly with lame jokes."
Spoiler
rating: 2
"Black
Panther" (or: Wakanda Forever)
A belated stand-alone for a character introduced in Civil War and his
fictional, high tech world. It is without question the best movie of
the series (even if it does contradict some of the stuff said in Civil
War).
Spoiler
rating: 4
"Infinity
War" (or: Everything Goes to Shit)
99% of the major players so far get sucked into a fight with a purple
giant determined to save the universe by killing half of it. It's all
very dark.
Spoiler rating: 4
"Iron
Man" (or: Back to the Beginning)
We take a break from an increasingly dark storyline and go back to
where it all started.
Spoiler rating: 3
"Ant
Man and the Wasp" (or: Quantum Shmantum)
Apparently while the Infinity War was going on, these people were
trying to crack traveling into the quantum realm to retrieve the
original Wasp.
Spoiler rating: 3
"Captain Marvel" (or:
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun)
Marvel finally gets around to the origin story of Carol Danvers and it
instantly infuriates the dudebro fanbase. Which just makes it more
awesome, honestly.
Spoiler rating: 3
"Addendum" (or: Mistakes, I've Made a Few)
This
is what happens when you recap a years-long series based on a
decades-long comic book series you didn't previously know anything
about.
"Endgame" (or: Let's Wrap This Thing Up...or...Not...)
The writers spend nearly three hours trying to put an end cap on the main storyline of the Marvel Universe so far while setting up future stories for characters who haven't completed their trilogies yet or are spinning off into their own television series. Every major character so far has at least a few seconds of screen time.
Spoiler rating: 4
Actual Wrap Up (or: Two Spiders, a Bird and a Guy with a Metal Arm)
Before we officially get into Phase 4 of the MCU, we have two movies and a show that mostly deal with fallout from "Endgame", or backfill as close to an origin movie as we're going to get for Black Widow.
Spoiler rating: 3